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Friday, July 25, 2008

O Noir 

Thank you Roo for great food and an amazing experience!!!

For my birthday, she took me to the restaurant O Noir. This is a place where to eat completely in the dark and are served by the blind. The food was incredible!!

When we arrived, we were offered menous to review and place out orders from. We also were advised that we could lock our belongings in lockers with padlocks and keys that we keep with us, so we don't misplace our personal belongings in the dark. No cell phones, cameras, or other light producing items are allowed in the meal room.

We were guided in by the blind thru some doors and into a pitch dark room, to our tables. I took time to feel out my table layout, place my napkin on my lap and let my eyes adjust to void. They watered for a bit desperately trying to see in the nothingness. We were served by a woman named Kim. She was so nice and helpful.

We were served hot bread rolls first. It was an experience cutting them open. Roo used her hands, I used my bread knife. Buttering them as especially challenging, I had no idea if i had butter on my knife or how much. Somehow, I managed to butter the bun perfectly. Yum. Our starter was grilled portabello mushrooms with chunks of parmesan cheese and balsamic vinegar on a bed of lettuce. DELICIOUS! The filet-mignon steak was exquisite too! That was out main course. They precut the meat for us for our convenience. I had a glass of coke too, which I kept on the very corner of my placemet so I could find it easily and not accidentally knock it over.

We found that people were exceptionally loud and rude in therte, like they were over-compensating for not being able to see. But also doing things that one would NEVER do in a restaurant... like shrieking loudly. I expect small children to be like that... but not adults. Frequently the room had to be hushed, just so our blind waiters could orient themselves and communicate with people.

Tea was brought after we finished eating. They prepared it with the milk and sugar for us. I supposed yo make it easier for us. I think I would have been just fine to do it myself. My dessert was fruit sorbet with pineapples. It was the only thing that did not have chocolate.

They also have what they call, SURPRISE selections what are specials of the day not on the menue. You only get to discover it when it is put before you and try to figure out what it is in the dark. Sounds fun! Maybe for next time.

When it was all overm Kim guided back into the lit entry. All in all... I loved this experience and desperately want to do it again! It was fun and fascinating... and the food... OMG so good.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

So... today's my birthday... 

I am 36 years old. Not pregnant yet, in case you are asking. *sigh*

I had a busy and yet relaxed day. Last night after work, I went to Karyn's to teach her the last class of CMS Level 2. There she and her boyfriend made me a most excellent dinner. I walked from there to Roo's. (This is because since the car was hit, I have been bussing to work and all.) I slept over there. That was nice. I hadn't done that in a long while and missed it much.

It is unfortunate that I only had 5 hours sleep as the stupid leg cramp flared again and woke me. It still hasn't really gone away.

Today went well as Hobbes come over to Roo's as a surprise with birthday flowers! It was absolutely wonderful!! The second b-day gift I received! The first was the DVBD of Memoires of a Geisha from Karyn to replace the one I lost and desperately wanted to watch again. Then we did brunch together! Yum... good brunch and good company!

Next was bussing with Roo to my house where she got to sit and chat with HRH and Arin for a bit while I found the car papers I needed. We then went out to see about poaying car stuff. Renewed the car license & registration and my driver's license and medicare card. The cards will be mailed to me sometime over the next 10-21 days. Lincense fees jumped from $80 to $145!! Geez. I have a quote from Belaire for car insurance that I will comfirm tomorrow. And I got a rough estimate for the body work that needs to be done on my car... $2500. OUCH!!! I will see what my Daddy can do on Saturday with it.

I received some birthday phone calls. Thank you! Apparently I also received a bunch of facebook birthday wishes. As a note to everyone... I HATE facebook and rarely... RARELY look there.

Husband is on his way home. Guess I will go clean some house and try to think about dinner plans.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Challenge 

I think the universe is challenging me. I am not sure how much more challenging I can take. Today I decided to take a week off of work late in August just for me... to do whatever I wantede. And what happens after said decision? Someone hit the back of my car crunching the corner and destroying the corner of my back bumper. Add to the pile of things. YO UNIVERSE! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!

I am home now.
I am going to make pasta I have been craving all week.
I am going to pretend the world does not exist.
I am going to put air in my bike tires and plan a very early day tomorrow of biking to work.

I missed my dad's birthday...
I wish him all the best though and love him very dearly.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Weekend News 

Saturday was an author event at Melange!

I was insomniatic again and got to sleep about 3am. I woke at 5:30am and soon after there was construction or something of some people with big loud screechy drilly machinery... till noon. Made for an antisocial, cranky and very tired Scarlet. I didn't want to go but knew I had to as I was kinda semi-hosting.

I arrived at 12:45pm and helped set up. Brendan Myers was already drawing a crowd. People came in from all over Montreal AND Ottawa. There were even two volunteers in the MPRC to help open the centre while the event tok place! Huzzah! AND it was standing room only in the classroom space while Brendan spoke about the role of Virtue through the ages and in Modern Paganism.

After his lecture and book signing (yes... there are a bunch of books signed and at the store for people), he toured Montreal a bit with Hobbes and met a bunch of people at a restaurant in the Old Port. The food was wonderful and so was the company. It was great to go out on a date like thing with my hubby. Also... Roo was out of her cats and walking!! Kinda walking. She has to use crutches, but YAY for her being out and about and with us!

We got home late and relaxed in the evening.

Today was an easy day. I slept in a bit (like till 10am). Then we went out for breakfast. That turned out unfortunately not as good as usual. The breakfast place we usually go to is usually way better than it was today. Oh well. No tip then. We did a brisk cleaning in the house. Guests came over for a bit for tea and stuff. Now I am relaxing and waiting for Avatar to download so Mark and I can watch it!

Friday, July 18, 2008

10% 

I feel like I am functioning at only 10%.

I slept. I did the things I needed to do today (except get crickets for the lizards).

I even ate food.

And yet, I am sluggish, tired, slow, exhausted easily, not multitasking like I should be...

10% functioning. It is frustrating and wierd.

I feel like I was hit by a metaphorical truck. I just want to lie down and sleep more. But I can't. There is SO MUCH to clean in the house. Guests come over this weekend. And I am hosting a ritual for the full moon tonight.

Pssst: coveners... the job of public full moon esbat next month belongs to one of you...

Tests and stuff... 

So I dashed out for my ultrasound today. The Queen Elizabeth Health Complex is still full of pleasant people. The doc who did the ultrasound was some foreign Eupoean guy with a neat accent. I wanted to ask him where he was from. Apparently, my liver is fine and so is my gall bladder. There appears to be nothing wrong. So why is the liver enzyme (GGT) reading as high in my blood tests? No idea. My doctor will look at the ultrasound images and get back to me. I have another blood test in August.

In other medical news. My knees are still fucked up. They still hurt and ache. I will have to get a second tensor bandage. I seem to have strained my ankle likely compensating for the various aches. Reason why the doc said that I should try not to be on my feet for 3-6 months. Great... *groan*

I cancelled my membership with Curves as I just can't do it with my knees, nor do I remotely have time to go. Not managing to squeeze it is, despite trying, was stressing me alot. No more... I will keep my exercise to the tiny bits of rollerskating I do once or twice a week.

I treated myself to sushi at Cafe Yi. They renovated and look great! And I am content to have fed a craving I have had for weeks.

I paid ticket agreement stuff. *sigh*

Now I am home. I have yet to pay for Sympatico, rent for the basement, school, car license & registration, car payment, car insurance, and my driver's license. I need a windfall.

I will go clean the livingroom and move my termpaper stuff to the basement. I kinda wish I was not hosting the Full Moon Esbat this evening. I kinda just want to stay home. Oh well. Maybe someone else will lead it for next month.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Today was... ok... 

I slept bad as bad could be last night. So I never did those errands. They are now on tomorrow's list as they HAVE to get done.

Worked at noon and prepped for an author event that went phenomenally!

I headed out to derby to skate a little and talk with refs about the last game of the season. I managed to finally get tickets to sell at the store. YAY!!!

I am having my last bit of food before fasting... and advil because the migraine is bad.

Tomorrow I have to go pay stuff, do banking, cancel stuff... then try to clean the house. I also have the ultrasound to do. I am thinking of moving just my termpaper stuff to the basement office.

It is easier to think of only the things for tomorrow as opposed to all week.

tired, cranky and anti-social 

That about sums it up.

I can't hardly remember most of the week. I have slept badly.
I am feeling insomniatic tonight.
Watching a movie streaming to kill time till i crash.

The days never end or give me much break...

Tomorrow is errand running till noon, then work and preparation for an author event at the store, then out to derby to negotiate tickets for the last game to sell at the store, then fasting.

Friday is the abdominal ultrasound, preparations for ritual and teaching, setting up my downstairs office some, then back to the store for a ritual i am leading.

Saturday is another author event at the store.

Sunday ia a day of lessons and discussion. Then preparing my termpaper.

Then back to work again at the store. Monday is working then teaching a tarot class in the evening, Tuesday is work and preparing class for Wednesday, Wednesday is work and teaching, thursday is work and my birthday, Friday i teach in the evening, Saturday is a derby game, sunday is another author event. Somewhere in all that I have to pack for KG.

I met my teacher on the street today. I am so grateful he is understanding. I want to be able to give him at least... something... by the end of the summer.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Crash... and photos 

Last night all the excitement from the week caught up to me and i was too exhausted to think. I was also unable to sleep. I struggled till I finally drifted at 5:00am. I woke and dosed on and off between 8 am and noon. I ache all over.

Mark is downstairs building his new office desk.

I am browsing the photos and stuff I got from Jess & Jeff. Here is the surprise video that Jess made for me. It is amazing! What a wonderful handfasting gift. Thank you!!



The following are some of my favorite phots from them:




































Now we are off to my parents' for a bit and to run errands.
I feel like I need abiut 2 weeks off of work just to get some things at home sorted and get back on track. It is immeasurably frustrating knowing I won't get that... again... before September.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Survey Stolen from Jess 

Is there anything expired in your refrigerator?
I just threw out the expired mayo this morning.

Name your favorite Beatles song:
All you need is love

Do you usually get a "to go" box at restaurants?
Yes, it gives me a lunch for the next day

Last sporting event you attended?
DERBY Today!

Did you ever hang posters on your bedroom walls as a teenager?
Yup, they were often Dali art, unicorns or other fantasy artwork... and my own oil paintings

If so, who or what was on them?
See above...

Describe your shower curtain:
pale blue inside with several small tears from Mark's cat deciding it is one of his favorite toys when he is bored... grrrrr

Do you try to play matchmaker with your single friends?
not really. I might hint but otherwise, what is the point. If it is meant to be, it will happen without my help

Do you prefer dangling earings, hoops or studs?
generally studs, though tiny rings are now becoming a fav

What was the last piece of mail your received?
a note in a Harry Potter envelope from Ceri & Scott with a handfasting gift inside

Do you read the funnies in the Sunday Paper?
Nope.

Who do you know that had a baby most recently?
Rick and Marie had Alexander who is now my god-son! SQUEEE!!!

At what age did you get your ears pierced?
I attempted to at the age of 6 but cried and ran away after the first was pirced. Mom took it out in my sleep. A few years later I was braver and did it because my best friend had hers done too.

Have you ever used a Polaroid camera?
Ya... as recently as like 5 years ago. It was for photos to go into the vet clinic photo album

What is your favorite stuffed animal?
TY beanie-baby cougar named Canyon

On clothes do you prefer polka dots or stripes?
uhhh... neither thanks

Have you ever driven a moving truck?
Ya, when i helped a friend move a few years ago

What is the longest you could go without a soda?
forever... I don't usually drink sodas. I don't like the fizzy

What catalogs do you get in the mail?
Ikea

What was the last piece of candy you ate?
i can't remember... it was a long while ago...

Do you wear shoes on your carpet at home?
Nope. No shoes in the house please... also, we don't own carpets in the house

When is the last time you checked a book out of the library?
Last month with a repeat... schools for my Masters paper that I am straggling on

Ever bought something from the Home Shopping Network?
nope... i don't own a TV yet and haven't since 1992 so never really seen this

If living in a 3 story apartment building, what floor would you choose to live on?
I like the first balcony level

Do you still own any cassette tapes?
ya... in a stashed box for the memories

Do you need caffeine to get through your day?
not usually. though tea on a stressful day is nice

Can you name all 7 Dwarfs?
Not anymore? let's see... sneezy, sleepy, bashful, happy, dopey...grumpy...

What is your favorite piece of furniture in your house?
The new library set of shelves in the livingroom... sooo pretty...

What type of souveniers do you buy on vacation?
i don't buy souvenirs... but I do pick up a rock from the locations or collect a tiny jar of sand/earth

When and where was the last amusement park you went to?
La Ronde in 1996 when I left Montreal to go work in Quebec City.

Are there any frozen dinners in your freezer?
Yes. I made them myself. Frozen pasta. Frozen rice. Frozen stirfry.

Last thing you bought from a vending machine?
oooooo.... uuummmm... I think juice when I went to Toronto in February

Have you ever taken dance lessons?
yes. I used to do Irish Dancing professionally and for competitions till an accident wrecked my knees forever

Do you own any sports apparel or jerseys?
Yup... stuff for derby! Knee, elbow, wrist pads, skates, mini-skirt

Does your mom still keep your baby teeth for memories?
dunno... don't think so.

If no one is home, do you close the bathroom door to pee?
yes... i don't like the cats watching me or attempting to hop into my lap

Tell us something about your neighbors:
the guy next door is amazing for blowing our driveway in the winter for us with his big truck

Do you keep favors or momentos from people's weddings?
yes... in a small box of memories

If paid 1 million dollars per baby you adopt but you couldn't have help, how many would you adopt?
depends on age, space in my home, and child's needs. Otherwise, likely I could manage up to 5

What brand of underwear you wearing?
Hanes Her Way

How often do you shave your legs?
*shrug* Once a week or so. I have blondish hairs that don't really show

How many times do you wear a pair of jeans before washing them?
three. Not like I sweat much in them or anything. And it is mostly becasue i get them dirty by the thrid wash from scrubbing stuff or wiping my hands on them

Do you always wash your belly button and behind your ears?
ya... who doesn't? Ew... don't answer that...

Ever kiss someone who was dating or married to someone else?
yes. Comes with the poly friends I have

Ever taken diet pills?
No. um... dangerous?

Last time you washed your car?
uhhh... last year... poor thing is so due

Have you been fired from a job?
Yup... and proud of it!! The boss was an ass who yelled at me for being on the internet. He yelled at me in front of the whole company staff. He didn't bother to check that I was actually updating the company website becasue I was already finished my technical writing tasks and needed to kill some time waiting for him and the programmers to give me the next bit of stuff to write. When he was done yelling at me, I told him how unprofessional he was and where he ought to go to do such yelling, he told me where to go at 3pm. I left gladly.

Worst drug or substance you have used or abused?
I was really sick once when I was like 17 and mixed my poisons... dristan, tylonol and something else. I can't remember. I was too fevered to recall what I had done. Just it made my violently ill. I am very careful not to do that again.

How often do you drink alcohol?
Rarley.

Have your parents ever been in trouble with the law?
I am sure at some point. My dad has a driving ticket in some US state he is no longer allowed in.

Have you taken money out of the offering plate at church?
I don't go to church.

Have you video taped yourself being naughty?
EEK... Gods no.

Besides bills, what do you spend most of your money on?
books... more books... and more books... my one addiction... and school... and my car

Have you ever collected unemployment?
yup... after that job that fired me! *grin*

Ever stolen someone's lawn ornaments or decorations?
wierd... um no.

Have you ever done anything vile to someone's toothbrush?
*snort* Yes. My sister deserved it too. She used to tease me horribly. I dunked her toothbrush in the toilet. I think I was 10 years old.

Ever trespassed on private property?
Ya... LOTS... especially as a kid flipping fences and sneaking into an abandoned military training base nearby where I lived

Today in personal time... 

I woke at 5:30 am for no reason at all. I was just awake. So I roamed the computer a bit and posted the next chunk of my fanfic on www.fanfic.net. I retruned to bed around 8:00am and slept till noon.

The skinks are now in their new environment. I need to get a proper heat lamp for them.

We spent the early afternoon SCRUBBING the grossness out of the basement. During this time Jess and Jeff came over with a GIFTY! They brought us 2 CD's with photos and a vid of the handfasting. No, I haven't had a chance to look through it yet. I promise that after I do, I will post some pics.

We made a picnic supper and headed out for Arin's birthday picnic. It was a gorgeous day for it too! That lead right into DERBY! We rushed out to the derby game where the head ref gifted me a pass for my Hubby to watch the game. The girls skated an amazing game. Montreal's ALL STAR team (New Skidz on the Block) beat Hamilton Ontario's ALL STAR team 58 to 48.

I am now home to relax.

On the agenda for tomorrow....
finish cleaning the basement
build the office(s) in there
make a magical incense to fumigate the space
sort some banking
prep to pay for stuff yet to be paid (bills and car and furniture)
visit my parents

Friday, July 11, 2008

Shopping... 

So we shopped... and shopped... and SHOPPED. The goal was to find a sofa we liked. Then to get the legs for Mark's desk and a lock for the storage room door at the store, some kind of good book for a wedding scrapbook, then a vacuum, then cleaning products for the basement, groceries, and gecko food.

Results...

We found a sofa we liked at ML and will go out tomorrow to pay for it. We never found the vacuum nor the scrapbook. We did get to Ikea for the desk legs. We did get the cleaning products and the lock. We got groceries and gecko food.

We even got new pets.

At Nature Pet Center, they had berber skinks for sale. Docile like the blue-tongued skink but smaller (get to 2 feet instead of 4-6 feet). My empty snake tank needs some sort of life in it. So we picked up two berber skinks. At $40 each, we figured it was a good deal. They are pretty and friendly! Tonight they will live in my carry-tank. In the morning i will redo the snake tank into a new home for them.

Tomorrows agenda includes cleaning the basement and fumigating it of the evil moth balls and their smell, then doing a spiritual cleansing. After is some livingroom cleaning. Then buying the sofa to be delivered... hmm... sometime. A picnic is in order at 4pm for a friend's birthday. And the evening is DERBY! It will be a great day! Mark is coming to the Derby Game! YAY!

Sunday is more cleaning and sorting and maybe more shopping for a vacuum. Also need to stop by my parents' place to visit them.

So... I got married yesterday! 

Things started much much later than I hoped. I waited at the park at 10:30 for people to show up and help set-up. I departed from there around 12:30 to get chairs and pick up last minute things. I only got into the wedding dress at almost 2pm. So, the ritual started around almost 3pm.

Not everything that I had planned happened, but it was still beautiful.

The ceremony was pretty and fun. I had Mark's family there, most of our close frinds, my sister and my cousin. There was about 30 people in attendance. My greatest disappointment was that my parents didn't show. My mom was in and out of the hospital for tests for her high blood pressure. Understandable, but still heartbreakingly disappointing... especially since so few of any of my family came or even RSVP'ed. Says something. My greatest joy was meeting my new little God-Son, Alexander. This is Rick and Marie's boy of 7 weeks. He was adorable!

As a note... the best and I mean VERY best part of the day was waking up in the morning to leave and finding fresh lavender from the garden on the communal altar in the stairway and a huge finger painting from Liam wishing us a happy marriage day. I am considering framing it and keeping in in the stairwell to make me smile. It is by far the favorite gift we received.

As to gifts, I thank everyone who did bring/give something. Rick & Marie... we slept with the new blankies first thing last night and "re-christened" the bed. Everyone gave of blessing of fertility. Now you can all cross fingers and toes for us.

Today, Mark and I joined bank account stuff and scoured about for a new sofa. We might have found one. We are doing one last trip to Ikea to get things for his office desk that has been waiting for months to be completed and moved into the new downstairs office space. We will spend the day thinking about the sofa we liked at ML. We lookedf at washers and dryers too and a mini dish-washer that I desperately want. The washer/dryer I want is Samsung, 4.0 capacity, front loading, energy/water savers with silver care... meaning less detergent needed and anti-bacterial care to the clothing. They were way out of budget at $2500 for the pair. We will keep dreaming. I wanted to check out Electrolux and see about a new vacuum to replace ours that died. But they moved location. I will look them up later. We will get the sofa first and the desk stuff. Remaining funds will get applied to the TV we want. It will be a relief to finish the livingroom and have a place to lounge and relax again.

Off to Ikea, fun fun Ikea land!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Wedding Planning Ongoing 

I went to bed around 4-ish PM... after much struggling with a wedding program. It is almost done... but not yet. I will have to finish it tonight. The pouches from my sister are LOVELY! My niece is so on top of the music. I managed to pick up binding ribbons and some ribbons for my hair. I got to Chinatown and found M-SB a new shirt as the one that arrived from China was too tight at the shoulders. I also found red Chinese shoes to wear. The jars are unfinished, another project to keep working at tonight.

I still haven't got my unity candle OR white wedding ribbons.

Today I am at work. It is a quiet spell, thus I am blogging. It is HOT and WET even in the store. Almost sufficatingly wet. The rain outside is demoralizing. I do however hope it rains lots today and stops for tomorrow. I do have a back-up plan but I don't want to use it because it is awkward to move everything/everyone out. AND I REALLY REALLY want it in the park.

Hobbes came in and ran an errand to get me breakfast. Bless him. He is in the MPRC today while his car gets repaired. It is so wonderful to see the MPRC open with volunteers. At some point we will plan a volunteer meeting and a major spring cleaning of the space. It would be great to have it shining and bright and exciting by the time of the CMS Open House. Maybe have an MPRC Open House too! Ooooo...

Ok... wedding. This is on the list today. I have to work and somewhere in the middle of that I have to go get the missing items.

Somewhere in all that I need to do banking, pay car registration and car lease, and tickets and... um... return movies to Blockbuster. I also have to get cat litter and stuff for general living... AND BUGS! I need bugs for my geckos. Dammit.

I am sooo tired.
Oh dear gods... please please please let tomorrow go smooth.

I get married tomorrow...

Monday, July 07, 2008

Updating with Iced Wine 

So... Friday.... or actually let's go back to Thursday. Thursday I got out of work at 3:30 and off to Chinatown to meet the wonderful guy who made my dress. He got me red ribbon and took me to a shop to get Asian decor for the wedding. I spent too much money, but I am uber happy! The money came from a surprise late payment for teaching at elementary school! HUZZAH! I was back at work to help with closing. Knee still aching fiercely... at least I got advil that day.

Friday... more work. I had to leave at 3pm. I think I dragged till 4pm. I finally got out hoping closing would go well. I went and picked up flowers! Lots of carnations, irises, baby's breath and white roses. No red roses. I will get those Wednesday. I have to remember the instructions. Take out the irises on Monday to be open by Thursday and the other flowers on Tuesday to be open by Thursday. I took Roo with me! Just to get some air that did not invlove a trip to the hospital. She ached after, but it was still a good outing. Fitting the flowers in her fridge... now THAT was a feat! And the guys closed well, all things considered. Neither had been actually trained to close. So I am glad it went as well as it did. The hiccups were inconsequentially minor. When I got home... we got to explore the strange abbyss knows as the basement apartment. All current tenants sat there and made plans about what we wanted to do with it. AND wer celebrated with some of the finest alcohol M-SB could get. At least I think so. The iced wine he got was especially lovely! I had too much. I don't get tipsy or happy or any of that. I go from "this is yummy" to "I feel kinda hot" to that hung over sick and headachy... instantly and without warning.

Saturday I was frantic with whatever I was obliged to be at. I was a bit late to work, yes... i had to open. My exit was closed on the highway with no warning. I had to overshoot it and try to find my way back via the detour signs. What a confusing mess! Opening went... mimi. I was late getting out of work and was woozy for lack of food. I snagged food and ate before leaving. Then picked up the yummy traditional egg and cheese croissant breakfast for Roo. She was craving. I got a bloody parking ticket while i was buying the food. *sigh* Story of my life.

I hung out at Roo's till folks showed up. A semi-surprize bridal shower / staggette party! It was GREAT! Jess and mel and Roo and Sarah and Karyn were all there. Great yummy food, including Jess's famously delicious spinach and cheese hot spread thing. OMG mmmmmm. We played really fun little games that Sarah came up with. YOU ARE WONDERFUL! We had decent amounts of alcohol. Ya... round two of sick and headachy. But the party was alot of fun, especially for the people present. As for the little door prizes... I am still deciphering the use of the raspberry gelly substance. The late evening was quiet and clam and full of roleplaying with Roo.

Today... I slept in, despite the fact that M-SB wanted to take me out for dinner. I refused to get up. It was my only morning off. I wanted to sleep in dammit! So I did. I got up at noon-30 or so. Jess came over and did my hair up in various ways to see what we will do for the wedding. She used a curling iron on me. OMG. I am still curly. Yes, I even washed it again. And she didn't even put "product" in my hair. We then tied ribbons on jar thingies. Arin came up to go over the ceremony. My sister called. Phone rang, I leaned over to reach for it and kneeled on the other knee. Blinding pain... again... now BOTH knees kill. I have to make a copy of the ritual for Jess so she can learn her parts. I also have to compile a music list for my niece as she is going to DJ the wedding. Then I did a dash out to the store to observe closing and ensure it went smoothly this time. Yesterday was apparently not so smooth, though I had expected that since the two new guys were closing and neither had been trained to do so.

I still hadn't eaten at this time. I was nauseous from the pain and in a self-gratification mood. So I bought nummy foods I wanted to eat and came home for a nap. I even stopped into the Blockbuster video store and picked up a couple movies. It was a good nap, though short. The tummy finally growled for food and woke me. The cats were next for their food. I made dinner and cookies and ate some iced cream, though only ate one cookie. In the end... the cookies were not what I wanted. Oh well, M-SB will like them. Late late dinner... and some online time with Roo. M-SB was out at his Stag Party. He had an AMAZING time and came home not so sober. Thanks guys for making it an amazing time for him!

I am sipping that nice iced wine again. I usually... when I actually have alcohol... have about half to one whole shot only of alcohol over a glass filled (and I mean FILLED) with ice cubes.

I am back to work tomorrow.

OH! I looked at the park and kinda picked out a few places I felt would be nice to use. There is no electical outlet. So... what is on the list for stuff we need for the wedding? the pouches that my sister is working on, a music list that I wll have to send tomorrow even though I said I would tonight, a wedding program, white wedding ribbons, and... um... disposable cameras. Apparently costco has them cheap and with wedding pattern on them. *shrug* I am exhausted. I am at the end of my planning rope. I am well far far far beyond my limit of stuff I can do and cope with. I am SO glad I have Tuesday off for running around and stuff. And especially glad I have book time off after the wedding. I don't exist to the world (except maybe Derby Tuesday night and Saturday the 12th) till Monday after the wedding. I want some alone time with my husband and some quiet recovery time.

wow... long update post!

Thursday, July 03, 2008

spent too much money 

I met with Gary and now have lovely decor for the wedding. I spent way too much money, but I am content with what I have. All that is left is the tables cloths and stuff that Debra is picking up for us (LOVE YOU THANK YOU) and ribbon stuff that Sarah is looking into. And whatever is needed for the actual ceremony. M-SB and I will look over the ceremony tonight and see what we want or don't. I feel less stressed now that things are actually coming together. All I need now is to have M-SB have his clothing. His shirt hasn't arrived yet. I am a bit nervous that it will not arrive in time. We might have to resign ourselves to a long sleeved version we saw in Chinatown.

Back to observing the new guys working. They are doing well... from the morning right through so far. YAY!

multitasking 

I am having a pseudo-break. I am eating food. Amazing huhn?! I have breakfast. I was given a chance to walk out to the pharmacy. I got good advil (just took it) and a new tensor bandage for my knee that is better quality than the crap one I had. I am feeling much better.

Back to nibblingand databasing.

Awake... 

I am awake a bit too early. I was woken by a nightmare.

Wierd dream where I was some kind of hero with some kind of special power, tho I don't know what it was for it didn't get used in the dream. I was fighting some kind of demon or werewolf kind of creatures. In one mission (not even sure what the whole mission was) I ended up completing the task, but stuck hanging (like the hanged man of tarot) from a wooden crosspiece thing over a pack of the creatures as they tried to get at me. I knew my part of the mission was complete and resigned myself to just hanging there till dawn when the creatures would be dead by whatever I had done. Then they managed to jump higher. So I managed to pull myself up and stretched out across the top of the wooden bar praying that they didn't get more intelligent and chew it at the bottom. A cat from a higher balcony hopped down in front of me. She was a dark brown-black fluffy mass the same color as the wolf-things with a pretty little blck bow tied into the top of her long furrred head. I only remembered seeing her in the shop of the building behind me where she gave birth to a little of kitten on that balcony she hopped from to come mew at me curiously. She seemed to have no fear of the wolves snapping close to the post. However, she startles me and I had kicked her off. The wolves tore her apart in seconds.

That woke me in tears and a panic attack this morning.

So... now I am dressed an awake. I have an 11hour work day today with a few gaps for errands where I am quadruple booked. I managed to get confirmation that someone will get tickets and posters for me for derby from the practice that I cannot attend. So that is one commitment I need not be concerned about today. The ritual thing that was the other commitment looks like it will get rained out. SO SORRY for that. The Chinatown wedding stuff will happen and I will hopefully be done by 6pm... 7pm at the latest. I close with new staff today at the store. Wish us all luck!

I am less freaky at the moment than I was yesterday. I am so fucking tired. I ache so fucking much.

I am hoping for a smoother day.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Another... 

Why don't I just have another mewltdown. Ya... sounds great.

I just kinda got a hold of myself and things about the wedding and felt kinda like things will happen ok. I missed having much food again. I nibbled something small at 6pm... but irt was not enough. I was wigging out by 9pm. Shetchy my 11pm. I got home and cried in the kitchen because there was no immediate food. The in an attempt to shoo a cat from the lovely bouquet that a student brought me, I kneeled on that first injured knee. I just curled on the floor and cried some more.

And I have none of my good advils and the pharmacy is closed.

I hate the world right now.

Meltdown 

Today was stressful. Folks were very stressed today for a variety of reasons. I had too much. Then people asked me stuff. Then people were upset with stuff I did or did not do or promised to do but now can't.

I want to scream and cry and hide under a desk and tell everyone to go away.
I want to cancel my wedding and forget I ever wanted to have one.

If things go smoothly (HAHAHAHHA):

I will get asian decor tomorrow
M-SB will finish jars tomorrow of by Friday with Roo's help
Table cloths and plates will be gotten by Friday
All guests will be called by Roo tomorrow to veryfy attendance and what they are bringing (or suggest something to bring)
Flowers will be picked up Friday.
Ritual will be planned Friday night
clothing and remainder of decor will be gotten by Tuesday
pouches will be done by Sunday night
space secured by Tuesday latest
dress washed
Ritual supplies gotten Wednesday
Last minute anything Wednesday night

On the day:
Folks who can help set up will arrive at 10am to snag tables and help set up tables by noon
decor will be done by 1pm
we will be dressed and ready by 2pm
guests arrive around 1-2pm
ceremony starts 2:15pm
music and picnic after
then clean-up and moving tables and chairs back to store

and I was hoping to be pregnant by then...
I am so upset and stressed that I don't want to be touched
just makes me want to cry more.

is it too late to give up and cancel this wedding?

*sigh* 

the busy never ends... from the frantic sorting out work and people moving and vacations and my wedding and discovering i an triple booked... to slamming the door on my hand last night doing laundry....

*sigh*

and

*owe*

No... nothing broken or i would be all blue today. It just hurts... along with other hurts.

I do however now have breakfast and am reviewing my workday. I have taken a deep breath and will take things one stride at a time today.

My public apology to everyone I might "drop the ball" with this week and next in this chaos. Please be forgiving. I am only one person and am doing the place of far too many right now.