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Friday, April 30, 2004

NEWS!!! 

Some grades are in!!!

Anthropology 425 - Religions of the 21st Century.......... B
Anthropology 315 - Fieldwork......................................... A-

The Interview analysis for the Anth 315 class was an A- but dropped to a B- for being late.
The Ethnography was an amazing A+ but lost the + and dropped to an A for being late.

AWESOME!!!

Go me!!!!!!!!

Fun and "inspiring" 

I temporarily gave up on the weekly meme. For the time being, I am posting "Seeds of Inspiration: Motivating Quotes for You [teacher] and Your Students". I will change it every few days for so... as the mood moves me. I wanted to post this one a few days ago... but I had only just posted the previous one and wanted people to have more than one day to see it.

By the way 

The Thesis is at a relative 10 pages. It is awaiting editing before I tackle some more info on Part III. I should be starting Part IV sometime Friday night or Saturday morning. The staff at the vet clinic are being very accomodating and understanding. Someone will replace me yet again this Saturday, so I can write some more paper and plan my class to teach. I still get paid as if I was working. My banked hours are now like negative 15. I will make it up when I replace people for vacations. So, 10 pages written. That is 1/3 of the thesis, so far. I hope to be more than 1/2 done by Monday. I want to hand in a significant portion to my advisor on Monday. I want to be done by Thursday.

-----

I must be really bored and awake. I am blogging nonesense at 2:30AM. Yes, my teeth still hurt... as if that would have changed in the last 20 minutes. Well, I guess it would have if I had taken something for the pain. I think I will go do that.

Awake... 

I am awake. How very annoying. I have been exhausted and sleeping in and struggling to stay awake for 4 days... and now... I am unproductively awake. That means I am too tired to work on my peper, but far too awake to actually sleep. My teeth hurt too. I went to the dentist today (well yesterday) and have caveties. After scraping my teeth and poking my gums and what-not, My teeth ache, my whole mouth aches. It is also keeping me up.

Thursday, April 29, 2004

La-tee-dah 

I made some changes to the blog... small ones... like the Moon Phase thingy.

I get to pick up my ethnography tomorrow at 11:30AM... I SOOOOOOooooo hope it was ok... I just want a "B" in the class. Although, better is... well, better!

My Thesis paper is going ok... slow, but ok. When/if I do a Masters... it will definately NOT be on legal matters. GODS! Legalese... never again!!! I will focus on 30 pages. I can do 30. Wow... after doing 20+ page papers, I don't think I will ever be able to write another 5 page paper again. The tunnel is LOOOoooong... but I do see a light at the end of it... pin-point that it is, it is there.

My Brother and family 

Well... I am so jealous! Not really, but I really want to go out to BC, NOW!!
West Coast Newbies is his photo webpage of the trip there, the family, their home, and the neat places he's been while there. Hunter is my nephew... there are pictures of him there too... he is SO samned cute!

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

I think I am going to die... 

My thesis has to be 30 - 40 pages..... I thought it had to be 20 - 30 pages.....

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Info Gap... AAACCCKKK! 

Crap. Ran into an informational gap. 1951 to today. The laws against witchcraft were repealed in England in 1951. What about the laws in North America? I have a gap in my info!!! NOOOOOoooooOOOOoooooo!!!!!!!

I am now spreading TONS of piles of notes and printed legalese all over my ofiice floor looking for this obscure bit of information.

In the process... found something interesting... a MA thesis on Wiccan Ethics.

Thesis update 

I am on page 7. I just got a message from my advisor. I can have a few extra days... but I will try to push for Monday just the same. I finished Part II and am starting Part III.

Monday, April 26, 2004

Page check on the Thesis 

I have 6 pages written. I have Parts I and II written. I am editing and making some additions to Part II. I need to clarify the changes in Medieval legislation and torture. I also need to insert somewhere that these procedures were not practiced everywhere or to the same degree in the areas they were practiced. I want this done my noon tomorrow. I expect another page, maybe two.

It is heavy on the history and legalese. And the subject of torture is tough to stomache. (No, not including details in my paper.)

I am looking for reading/editing guneapigs again.

Thesis.......... 

I have one week.

If one more fucking crisis or interruption crops up... I will kill the person who screws up my graduation.

Brick Wall 

I am bloodying my brow on a spiritual brick wall. There are some days where I hate my role in the community and my role as clergy and my role as coordinator of my school and my role as teacher and advisor.

This whole week had felt like this. Today is no different. Am I cut out for this? Really? Why me?!?! Why not someone with more patience, understanding and compassion!?! WHY ME!?!?!

Back at the Grind Again: Thesis 

Well, life certainly wreaked havoc on my Thesis work. Things seem to be sorted out. Now I have to get back to the grind. I have some major editing to do.

My thesis: Wicca & Witchcraft: Legality and Recognition in Canada (or lack thereof)

I have to do some major insertion of information in the historical section to better contextualize it. Then I need to add the information that most strongly influence the contemporary legislation of Canada. I want this done by Wednesday morning so I can give it to my advisor and start working on the current issues in Canada section.

Revised Outline:
Part I - Introduction and basic background information
Part II - Old Laws and their Impact (Medieval Legislation and Colonial legislation)
Part III - Current Laws the Influence Legislation in Canada
Part IV - Rise of Wicca (literature and fieldwork perspectives)
Part V - Canadian Recognition of Wicca and Witchcraft (marriage rights and clergy rights)
Part VI - Canadian Pagan Views (pro/con legal recognition)
Part VII - Conclusion

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Bad Night... Bad Morning... Better Day? 

The Beltaine Fair was amazing! The CMS students helped out, participated, did divination, showed of their projects (yummy marshmallow apricot things...mmmmm.... that is a PASS!), and vended. The day went fantastic.

Afterwards... the frustrating week's "situation" resurfaced. So some of us went to coffee to sort it out and listen to each other, or vent. I think I chose a great mediator. I wish other people were NOT being dragged into it. I did find out some important information, so I won't fly off the handle at the wrong people, or at all for that matter.

But I went to bed with a headache, got woken at 1AM by nightmares or anger and frustration, back to sleep with the headache. I should have taken tylenol then or something, don't know why I didn't.

I got woken by a very early phone call this from a student. And realized my headache is STILL with me. I will take tylenol now. Must before I go teach. Today will start with a talking stick and me asking everyone what they learned and how they felt about this week's "situation". Once we have cleared the air, we have an amazing class planned. This is the CMS Level 3 class. They are in their third Potions class, learning how to make: waters, sprays, vinegars, sprinkling powders, and bath salts.

Friday, April 23, 2004

Master & Commander 

Ahhh... a good movie. Far Side of the World is definitely on the top of my favorites list. Along with Horatio Hornblower!

This was a great break to celebrate the completion of 3 courses. Tomorrow promises to be a fine fine day. I don't have to work at the clinic tomorrow, so I can squeeze in some Thesis editing and then off to the Montreal Pagan Resource Centre for their Beltaine Fair. CMS level 1's will be contributing to the Bake Sale table and possibly volunteering to help with it. The level 2's were supposed to have class, so instead they will volunteer their assistance and participate in the days events. They must journal the experience for homework. AND the level 3's will be practicing their divination. It is going to be a great day! Lawrence, a Level 2 student has bartered his course fee for his wonderful photography skills. He will be taking photos of the students and teachers throughout the day. Oh! The teachers! Yes, the teachers, some of us, will be hosting some of the workshops and activities. t! will be hosting a fine and challenging discussion about Pagan Activism. I will be hosting a workshop on Pagan Chants. And WinterWolf will be drumming.

Yes, a good day ahead indeed!

DONE yet another!!! 

Haahahahahaha!
Three down!

I only have my Thesis left.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

Exam results... ALREADY! 

My teacher emailed me right away with today's exam results: 76% (that is "B" grade) I hope the papers are good with good makrs. I am going to the class with an "A-" average and the 10% Analysis and 30% Ethnography papers are yet to be graded. YAY ME!!!

Done another! 

Ok... two classes down and two to go.

I finished the exam... it was all multiple guess, but some was choice. I think I passed. Teachers has all my work. No more Fieldwork/Ethnography class! YAY!!!

Now back to editing my Thesis and doing (starting and finishing) my Methods project.

Angry, Frustrated, Disappointed and now... Screwed 

This was not my original post. My original was unacceptable for public viewing.

Well the past couple days have been wrought with intensely frustrating activity that have upset me, infuriated me, made me immensely disappointed and taken up many hours raging at my walls (thankfully M-SB is very patient) and delegating to someone in a clearer mind.

Result... My Thesis never got edited and thus cannot be handed in today

Result... I didn't get to study for my final exam which is at 1pm today

Result... The situation seems to be getting under control

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Groan 

I have work soon. I am up and editing my Thesis. I wanted to add another section to it and hand it in today... but yesterday I crashed royally. I will take my Fieldwork notes to work to study for the exam tomorrow.

I so need a week between today and Friday.

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Next project: THESIS 

Now I am editing my thesis. It has to be 20-30 pages. I have 6 at the moment. I will edit what I have then break for some exam review. I also have to plan for my application to Grad School as my final project for my Methods class. Wish I wasn't working this Wednesday.

Done... DONE DONE done ~~~~ Happy Dance 

The ethnography is officially FINISHED !!! I celebrated by driving around in the sun for an hour today.
Cardinals were singing for me outside my window all day!

Last bit to go! 

I am now done the text. I am in the process of fixing the endnotes and the bibliography... then off it goes for a final edit.

While I wait for the edit to get back to me, I will study for my exam and edit my Thesis and plan my Methods Course project.

Perspective of the Montreal Pagan Community (LONG Ethnography Exerpt) 

While all the interviewees state that Montreal does have a Pagan community, it is not a unified one. Many of the worldwide conflicts are also reflected in the Montreal Pagan community, although Taras lists the top five as: 1-organize or not; 2-acceptance of Satanists; 3-universal Pagan symbol; 4-money for teaching (although Autumn views money as 'temporary energy'); 5-rumor-mongering. Amanda identifies most of these same issues, though focuses on the internal bickering and how that influences new people wanting to get involved. Karen addresses the generation gap of acceptance of different ages into different practices and "Old Gard vs. New Gard," which refers to the very traditional practitioners of Wicca (Gardnerian Wicca or Family Traditions) vs. all the Neo-Wiccan and eclectic practitioners. There seem to be many sub-communities, and as Dave describes, "Some get along, and some don't." Among the sub-communities are two major divisions. Karen mentioned that there is a Downtown community and a West Island community. Amanda and Isahee said there were a French and an English community.

While the general agreement is that a Pagan community exists in Montreal, they all doubt that there is a sense of community among its members. There may be this sense of community among the sub-communities, but not the Montreal Pagan community as a whole.

So what actually brings Montreal Pagans together? Montreal Pagans gather for public rituals, festivals, and other such activities. Karen also indicated that they come together in times of crisis, like a recent sex offender scandal. Taras mused that they also get together "to bitch about things." Dave explains that "people need to share [their individual Pagan beliefs], oddly enough with other people, so that it validates what they believe." People are social creatures that need to come together and share. Autumn believes that people are drawn to the Pagan community because "they are seeking companionship," seeking to share with like-minded people and to network.

One of the biggest concerns about the community expressed by my interviewees was community apathy. There are only a few folk involved in leading and organizing and the rest of the community seems to be complacently apathetic, not involved themselves except to engage in conflict. Dave?s biggest fear is that the current community leaders will burn out with no one to step up and take their place. Autumn seems to feel that it is not just a Pagan experience but rather a Montreal experience. Autumn fears that the apathy and conflicts will deter new people from getting involved and will embitter those already involved. She is amazed by the few leaders who have toughed it out through so much apathy and conflict and are still going strong no matter what. Her fears are shared by the other interviewees. Autumn mentions that Montreal Pagans "don't seem to play well with others." Taras worries that these conflicts will "drive people underground and they will disassociate themselves from the community." Isahee fears that "the French community will not be considered" or recognized by the rest of the Montreal Pagan community, and that they will be forgotten.

Will the Montreal Pagan community survive or thrive? Almost everyone felt it would survive, but thriving was questionable. The concerns and fears are still fresh to everyone. Some have expressed that the community is more active and welcoming than it was ten years ago. Taras indicated that communities go through up and downs in growth about every ten to fifteen years. "It tends to expand and contract," he said. He felt this community was aiming for a downward slump, but expects it to climb back up within the next five years. "It depends on the dedication and willingness to 'pitch in' of the community in general and not just the usual few," said Karen. Autumn believed it would survive, but over the last five years had "seen little growth and a lot of grinding its wheels." As far as Karen is concerned, "if it doesn't survive, then it didn't deserve the honour."

This does not mean there is no hope! At this point in my interviews, it felt very depressing; however, everyone does have hope for the community and some very interesting ideas to help it grow and flourish. There seemed to be four main themes raised by my interviewees.

Tolerance & Communication
There was an overwhelming demand for tolerance and communication within the community. Be more open-minded. Take the time to get to know people as people. Respect each other's differences. Exercise a little tact and diplomacy. Stop discrediting people and focus more on encouraging people. Compromise for the greater good. Look more at the positive instead of focusing on the suspected negative motives of people. Toss the old community 'baggage' into the river and move on! Work on more inter-communication AND intra-communication. Network more.

Involvement & Working Together
Apathy being one of the major concerns expressed earlier, there was a request for people to get involved and work together. Agree to disagree. Lend a hand. Pool resources: monetary, effort, contacts, knowledge, experience, hands and feet. Don't let the "usual few" burn out, instead help out and let the burden be spread out. Make more services available and accessible. Do some public outreach. Embrace the newcomers and honour the elders. Start or keep active such activities like social gatherings (called coffee moots), public rituals, discussion groups and more.

Define the Community Needs
The community as a whole has needs, just like the sub-communities and individuals. Communities need leaders, help support them or better yet, become one. These leaders need to be flexible to the needs of the community. More organization was mentioned and a need for solidarity is becoming more evident among the community members. Due to the experiences recently in the community, a suggestion of defining responsible and appropriate behavior is also needed. Essentially, meeting and discussing what the community needs is very important. Autumn reminded me that the Montreal Pagan Conference may go a long way to achieving this. And, Karen and Dave suggested the need for a counsel of some sort, to help identify the community's needs and address them.

These have been some of the suggestions and needs expressed by my interviewees. It was definitely interesting to know that there ARE some events and groups that are starting to work on the ideas already, and that is why there is hope.

Amanda, as well as some of the other interviewees, mentioned an important thing to remember about the Pagan community and the Montreal Pagan community. As communities and spiritual movements go, these one are very young communities that are in a growing phase. Amanda likens them to teenagers who grow, become awkward, rebel, and experience growing pains both physically and socially as they struggle for their identity.

Oooo... 

I am SOOO going to post a section of my ethnography here. As soon as I am done the section on "Perspectives on the Montreal Pagan Community"... it will get posted... just to stir discussion!

Up and at the grind again... 

Well, I am getting positive feedback, so far, about my ethnography. I have nifty birds singing outside my window (the cardinals are back). And I am nearly done the main text of the paper.

Now off to breakfast and paper.

AHA! 

I have hit page 31 in my ethnography! I am writing the last section of my ethnography before the conclusion.

Thank you 

I want to thank everyone who came to the funeral ritual I held for my feline familiar, Taunih. I am glad we got to honour her. I am also glad everyone enjoyed the ritual. I did not want it to be too somber... it was to be a bit of a wake. I completely forgot to sing a song in the ritual. But that is ok... I would rather the song be associated with happier things, anyways. Part of me just want to cuddle and hug as one big group like a bundle of sleepy kitten for a time in silence.

Thank you all for sharing this time with me. It really meant a whole lot to me.

Monday, April 19, 2004

Energy! 

Yes, I am drinking an energy drink to keep going. Four more sections to go... then my conclusion and all that end stuffs.

The wind is ... REALLY STRONG outside. It is wreaking havok in my house!
~~slamming and sucking closed doors, blowing curtain / blankets / papers / cat toys, rattling the hell out of the windows (open or closed), howling around the building, scaring the crap out of the cats, banging the trees into my balconies and windows.
It is very annoying and disturbing. I think I will cast a circle and warding shield so I can focus on my paper.

Experiments 

1- I attempted to make flavoured yogurt... SUCCESS!! It is very yummy.

2- I attempted to make frozen yogurt with half of the yogurt mix... Hmmm. It really froze solid! It is now in my fridge to thaw a bit so I can stir it and try it. It would have been good if I made it into yogurt popsicles. Waiting to see how it is...

3- Bought this powdered whey protein extract (vanilla flavoured). I tried some with water... meh. I made the rest with milk... too strong on the vanilla so I added some of my coolie to it... WOW!!! YUMMY!! I will have to get more of this.

TACKLE 

I am up and have been through the ethnography's latest edit suggestions. I am actually feeling kinda hopeful. Like the ethnography will actuaqlly be "good"... I need it to be good enough to compensate for the marks I will lose for handing it in late. I am back to tackling it. I intend to be done today. I want to hand it in today and be rid of it!

I also need to call Melange Magique for some supplies for tonight's funeral ritual.I need some stones and an oil.

Ok... food and paper... TTFN!

Nope... just can't stay awake 

Well got one section done... but just have no more energy for another. So I email this off and tackle more tomorrow.

Yes, I am still up! 

Still writing and it is 1:30AM. We lost power this evening which interfered with work a bit and had to go check on the clinic and listen to a friend vent about a neighbor. Lost a couple hours there, all told. Just as I got everything settled to work by candle light... the power came on. I am currently on Page 24 and on the 3rd topic of the interview analysis section of the ethnography.

I have to take frequent little breaks so my brain doesn't explode.

On one of those, I removed my Betta male from my tank (put him back in his bowl) because he was being a royal shit and attacking my beautiful (in their truly plainness) black mollies. I tossed my injured guppy back in the tank and the tank is happy once more. The guppy is actually healing and growing his fins back, hope the male molly does too. Bad Betta Male!!! Well, he is forever banned to the bowl. I did put M-SB's female Betta in my tank. They are more docile and skittish... not like their aggressive male counter-part.

On another break, I made flavoured yogurt by taking the plain yogurt and adding some sugar, vanilla and my berry coolie to it. Half went into the fridge. Half is being experimentally frozen... frozen yogurt... I hope it is good.

On a third break, I found a good Bast text for a furneral, as i am having one Monday night for my Familiar.

Ok... back to the paper. I want at least 2 more topics done before I crash. I want to email the next bit to the Owl who graciously offered to edit. I feel I need to condense it some... but I do not know where yet.

Sunday, April 18, 2004

Back at the Grind 

I am missing the students ritual today... stupid paper. I hope the level 2's (who are calling quarters) and the level 3's who are leading the circle, have a great day.

I am working on my paper. GOAL: FINISH IT!!!

Autumn said she would edit it sometime tonight or tomorrow morning. THANK YOU!!!!!

M-SB' cat & the ritual experience 

LOL!!!

M-SB's cat, Cloak (the beast with the thumbs), entered our coven circle during a dedication last night... several times. It was quite funny. He would walk in, bell jingling (so we KNOW where trouble is happening) and stop, all confused. "Damn" I would hear him think to himself. "I can only go clockwise... I cannot seem to turn around... shit... oh well." And he would then walk clockwise around the perimeter of our circle and leave through the Gate. This happened about 3 times. The fourth he managed to bolt counterclockwise as M-SB nearly stepped on him without noticing his presence.

Friday, April 16, 2004

:-( 

I have felt like crap all day. Sometimes I hate being female. I was fevered and cramped ALL morning.

I tried blogging and checking email while food cooked, and set my head down to wait for my fever to go away... and when I looked up... well my pasta was no longer boiling and bone dry and burning. I decided not to bother cooking food, figuring I was unsafe and waited till I got Mark and ate supper out.

Thus the day was not productive. I hope my paper can still be accepted next week. When I realized food was burning, it was already 2:30pm when I was SURE it was only 12:30pm.

Well... I didn't burn the house down. Mark fed me and we went to Costco.

A meme 

Curtesy of Hobbes:

A meme:
1. Pick up a book.
2. Turn to page 23.
3. Pick out the fifth sentence.
4. Post it to your blog with these instructions.

The passage:

"My hope is that the same pluralism that makes tolerance necessary will also make peace possible by forcing us to notice that there are good people - and corrupt ones - in every faith community."

From Spiritual Mentoring by Judy Harrow
Chair of Cherry Hill Seminary

Hmmm... I think I want to do this weekly...

Update on dinner 

WOW! Mom & Dad came... arrived for 6:15pm, ate dinner, and stayed chatting with the inlaws till nearly 9pm! It went... really well! They liked each other! They family got along! And dinner was great... so was Hurley's. Thank you ALL for coming to either (and both) events. We survived.

My Nanny didn't come, as much as I hoped she would.

Now I am dealing with stress backlash. I am headached and fevered and cramped. I will eat and poke on the net and then tackle some paper (hopefully finish it... but it isn't likely).

Thursday, April 15, 2004

News! 

I got a "B" in my Religions of the 21st Century class. Not what I wanted or expected, and yet... I knew she got my much less that acceptable work. At least it is a "B" and I am still in Honours.

Now, my sister has backed out of dinner and likely with my niece. So... My brother and family are in BC... so obviously won't be there, My sister and niece won't, my Nanny likely won't, and my parents will only stop in for 30 minutes! Why did I bother!!! I should have just asked to have a family dinner with Mark's family! (*depressed Scarlet*) more reasons not to invite my family to the wedding. They probably won't bother to come to that either at this rate!

Music and mor Music 

Managed to be so stressed that I didn't manage to fall asleep until 5:30AM... Grrrrr...

Well, Mom and I were today's music teachers at elementary school. We taught the children to sing "The Earth is Our Mother" and "The Ocean is the Beginning of the World". Then I taugh about drums and did some drumming with them. I am glad it is over. The teachers at luch ganged up on my Mom and all agreed to cover for her so no one would know she left early. They sent her home at 1:35 so she could get a nap and come to dinner tonight. She will probably still only be there for 6:45 and stay 30minutes, but that is ok. As long as she comes and says hi. I know she is agoraphobic somewhat. My Nanny has been bouncing back and forth about coming... still don't really know if she is.

As for my paper... nothing done. I was helping too much today that I had no time to work on it at the school. Noiw I leave to see my Religions of the 21st Century teacher and pick up papers and grade from her. But cannot hand in my paper. I just is NOT done. Maybe I will do some tonight.... you know... after Hurley's. I HAVE to be finished tomorrow!!! I NEED help with a paragraph that ... just doesn't say what it needs to.

UGH! sigh... 

I have less than 10 pages to go on this ethnography... but I NOW have a plan for tackling the Analysis section and Conclusion section.

I am teaching Music to elementary school tomorrow with my Mom. I am bringing all kinds of cultural music CD's, two different drums, my tin-whistle, and two Native American Chants. My mom is not keen on teaching Music and I have already done this class for all grade a few years ago. We trade lesson plans all the time. Where do you thing many of the CMS Lessons come from... especially the Art ones!?! Mom of course! She is an amazing teacher. I admire how well she connects with the students... even the most unruly. It is absolutely like MAGIC! I love to go in and watch her. I keep hoping I will glean something of whatever she does. I aspire to be as good a teacher as she. However... music is just not her thing.

This is going to be tricky tomorrow. You see, Mom almost cancelled on the Family Engagement dinner tomorrow (or rather this) evening. I panicked... I mean I really panicked! I NEED my Mummy there!!!!! So I agreed to come teach elementary with her, too ease her stress and ensure that she will come to the dinner for at least 30minutes. She is giving me some money for gas so I can get to the school. The tricky part... I am not finished my Ethnography. I am supposed to hand it in by 3pm tomorrow. SO... I will be madly typing on my laptop every moment I get tomorrow in the classes, in between the classes, at recess and lunch, and then leaving at 1pm to get home and finish by 3pm (edit, endnotes, appendices and all). I then fly out to hand it in and pick up the papers from another class. Then FLT home to shower and dress nice and chill till 5:30pm. Dinner is at 6pm where M-SB's family and mine will meet for the first time. I feel like I am going to die. What if they HATE each other? What if the like each other? Either could be uncompfortable. Thankfully, when dinner is over, we escape to Hurley's Irish Pub to meet and destress with friends!

Wish me luck and miracles!!! (and patience, calm and smooth evening) I am off to bed to get a somewhat good night's sleep... this is an early night for me... it is only 12:30AM. (the other nights... bedtime was sometime after 2AM)

Nighty-night!

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

frustrating, good, stressed, annoying, great, BAD.... BAD BAD BAD!!! 

This is my day's rollercoaster.

Had to call Bell to defer a payment to next week. (went ok)
Emailed my teacher because my paper just won't be ready till Thursday (frustrating)
Struggling with ethnography (frustrating)
Teacher gave me week and a bit to study for exam (good)
Late for photo shoot and didn't have the required white blouse (stressed)
Bought one that doesn't really fit using mom's visa, will exchange it and pay mom back (annoying)
Photo shoot went really well! (great)
Tire is low on air (BAD... will fix later tonight, I hope)
Come home... my ritual earthen bowl of sea salt is spilled over TV and smashed on livingroom floor and I have guests over tonight... (BAD BAD BAD!!!)

This is SO not good when I am supposed to do a bit of ranting for misconduct in this meeting. Now, all I want to do is KILL. I am going to go clean up now, hopefully I will be calm before any of my teachers arrive.

time !! 

I think I managed to buy myself some time for my Ethnography... two more days. I will finish today, I hope, and have time to hand it to SOMEONE (gods, anyone) to edit it thoroughly. I will hand it in on Thursday.

Almost done (mantra) 

I am 1/2 way done the damnable ethnography. I have to finish it by 2:30 so I can drop it off by 3pm and get to my Grad Photo shoot by 3:30... today. It WILL get done... but I WON'T be happy with it and I apologize to ALL the people I interviewed if it truly sucks!

Monday, April 12, 2004

Woken up by Nemo 

Yes... my fish woke me up.

How on earth can a fish wake someone, you ask? Well, this clown Loach I have (looks like a clown fish but for freshwater tank who are overpopulated wit snails, as mine was) was having a splashing frenzy in the tank near the filter (hance he is forever named Nemo... if you don't get it... go watch the movie). It was loud, loud enough that I though M-SB's bad cat, Cloak, with the thumbs, was trying to get at the fish (unusual since I should have had him terrified of attempting that ever again). Thus I lept from bed to see. Indeed, it was a stressed and frenzied fish, poor guy. He was trying to get my attention as my Betta decided that my guppy was competition and beat the crap out of him. Guppy is in a separate bowl hopefully recovering... but it does not look good for him.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

Knocked FLAT !!! 

Yup, my body fought back at me. I tried to work on my paper after my last post. I was falling asleep on my keyboard. So I went to nap... got up at 4pm. I have not been that exhausted in a LONG time. Sigh. Well... now I am up, have run my errands and eaten and relaxed my mind and body. NOW I am ready to tackle the Ethnography! With a VENGENCE !!

Blah 

I have run out of steam. It better not be burn out. I cannot afford it. I have woken at 11 this morning, having slept about 10 hours and feeling like I slept none. I am trying to work on my ethnography. Today is kinda the only day I got for it. It is structurally different from anything I have written before. The book on how to write this, tells us to write it, then rewrite it, then write it again. HA! It gets one round and it better be good the forst time round.

M-SB is making breakfast for me. I love him. He takes such good care of me.

Maybe I will be lucky and have it all done tonight! I work tomorrow and hand it in Tuesday at 3pm. Then I have Grad photos at 3:30pm. Then I tackle my Thesis a bit. I need to make suggested corrections and add the next chunk or research which begins to get into the meat of the paper. I want to hand in the next bit by Friday. I also want to try to tackle some of the last course's project of application for Grad School.

Well, off to breakfast. I'll let you all know how it is going later.

late night 

Well... look at that... after midnight again. Ritual was great. I am SOOO proud of my new dedicants!

I am somewhat dodging paper. I am just slightly too tired to focus on heavy academia... but just too awake to sleep. I abhor staring and the inside of my eyelids.

Saturday, April 10, 2004

Celtic/Norse/Slavic Religions 

After I finish work at the Vet, with help today with the TON of dogs, (Thank you J-WW) I will be teaching my Level 2's this.

Normally I would be splitting this class, but my partner is in Toronto with family. So we are trading off. I do the whole class today, and she does the whole class next week.

I did a bit of research and was surprised to find that the Celts actually did build temple structures, 2-room rectangular ones. Celts also had their own separate priestly classes, among whuch were the druids. Whereas, the Germanic and Norse folk did not have a separate priestly class. The Norse folk relied on a few family members who would be trained for the duties among the family, or the leaders who were likewise trained, for the village/tribe, etc. There is a heavy influence of shamanism in the Celtic, Norse, and Slavic peoples. Some key things that have been noted were the use of ecstatic states, the belief in totem animals, and the belief in deities and people who could shapeshift. Among the Slavic peoples, the old ways were preserved by the wandering gypsies. The Celtic ways were preserved in the tales of the bards and later the druid orders were revived. The Norse ways were preserved or revived in only a few places: Iceland and Finnland. Some of the similarities was among how these people treated the dead. The Celts viewed death as a transition into another world and then a return or rebirth. They had deities in charge of death: Morrigan and Cerridwen and Manannan. The Norse also believed in a transition into the realm of the gods or into the Hall of Heroes (for those qualified). They had such deities as the Valkeries and Hel. There is not much into... as of yet... on Slavic traditions of this sort. Among these people are three forms of death rites: by water, fire, or land. Often the water burials were combined with fire in the form of a burning boat pushed out to sea. Burials among the Clets and Norse would include a stone outline of a boat or an actual boat overturned. Slavic folk engaged in funeral pyres or in burials... and have the most superstitions about the grounds of the dead.

Now I have to go... crap, almost late for Vet work.

took a needed break 

Today, I slept in. I slept till noon. Then got everyone up and out to have a late lunch. We went to see the movie HellBoy. It was a good movie with great building scenes and visuals... Liz is COOL! But... the ending... was sorta... weak and flat. Oh well.

After parting with friends for the day, M-SB and I went to Nature Pet Centre, where I spent $33 on reptile food and fish tank plants. I treated my geckos to silk worms ($1.00 each... OUCH!) Only the female leopard gecko liked them. My fat-tail gecko turned his nose up disgusted. The dropped in a bunch of crickets for the rest of their meal and food for them for the week. I have 4 frozen mice now for tomorrow's feeding of the corn snakes. I tried to feed "Timid" (MY BALL PYTHON) a rat... since he was hungry uesterday... but he just was too scared of it today. So, it went into the freezer for later. Sigh.

Then treated my fishies to a whole new look in their tank. I cleaned it. I gave it fresh water. I tossed the scraggly plants that really grow for a big tank and were too high maintenance, and put it plants that stay small and bushy. Then I moved my Red Betta male into the tank, since the fishies who bit his tale last time have either died, been flushed, or fed to a turtle. So... The tank looks great! I need a backdrop now.

After all that, I ate supper and played a computer game... just not willing to face the grind tonight! I will be working and teaching and dedicating someone tomorrow, so... I am very busy tomorrow! I have Friday off, though. So I will be grinding away then! ETHNOGRAPHY... due by 3pm Tuesday, April 13th.

I did get my tomorrow's class planned though... about an hour ago.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

Hmm... 

I had to reschedule my dentist appointment due to traffic not letting me get there in time.

I picked up Taunih fromthe clinic. I had never seen ashes of a creature before. She came with a card and certificate and another angel pin. The urn is a lovely dark forest green, almost black. It had a small rectangular brass plaque with her name and the dates. I wanted an oval one that also said "Scarlet's Familiar" but the jar is too small for that. Her ashes are in a plastic baggie tied with a ribbon and a metal tag. I took the baggie out of the urn. I don't want her in a plastc baggie! But before I take her out of the baggie, I will bless the urn. Her ashes are all the same colour as she was creams, peaches and some orange. Her energy is strong in the ashes. I worried that she would be upset with my decision of euthenasia instead of letting her pass on her own. But then I remembered the last thing she did as the serum coursed through the needle into her veins. I help her head in my hand and stroked her back. She purred and kissed my fingers. I think she understood and was glad to no longer suffer.

I have to go... I have to stop crying and drive out to get Mark.

DONE! No more Religions of the 21st Century class! 

I have finished my paper at last!!! 16 pages not including my extras. Now I am off to deliver it.

On my way back, I stop in to the dentist for a 4pm check-up appointment. Then I pick up Taunih's ashes at the vet clinic and set them on my altar untill the funeral rite on the 19th of April. Then a good long relaxing shower.

I then have to pack up the laptop and a mouse to go play Age of Wonders Shadow Magic at my Mom's until Mad Mad House comes on.

After that, we pick up one of the people were considering for our coven for a dedication ritual tonight!

Tomorrow, I will be back at the grind for my Ethnography which was given an extension till Tuesday. OH! And M-SB and i will go see HellBoy, too!

Another Exerpt 

I have finished page 10! 5 more pages to go. Here is another exerpt from later in the paper.

If we consider our very secular and civil society and its mainstream views which shunt religion to the position of impractical or not useful for progress, we see a rise in “invisible” religions and New Religious Movements. Invisible religions are also known as personal religions. (O’Toole 1984) A personal religion is a religious or spiritual path that the individual undertakes “to fill the spiritual vacuum and satisfy the need for meaning which traditional religions can no longer provide.” (Hunt 2002: 161) This is also clearly described by Nancy Ammerman when she said, “while social theory has taught us that maintaining a religious identity is a problem in the ‘mainstream’ of culture, at the margins, religious identities seem still to play a role. When asked, several of the interviewees agreed that they did or still do practice Paganism solitarily and in private, yet all expressed a need to connect with a community or with people of like-mind. All the interviewees came to Paganism at different times in their lives but usually through some sort of personal crisis where they needed answers that other religions could not provide. They found those answers in Paganism. They also discovered new questions that started them down a long path of self-discovery.

In their initial search, they rejected other religions and institutions that tried to enforce edicts and beliefs, restricting their spiritual development and expression. New Religious Movements offered a counter-culture to the traditional or mainstream culture. Many traditional religions focus on transcendence or a transcendent deity. They are world-rejecting religions. Their further search and need to connect “marks a transformation away from a counter-culture religiosity that was once world-rejecting , all-embracing and community-based, to one which exemplifies the spirit and even the inherent contradictions of post-modernity.” (Hunt 2002: 161) Because of this, or through this, Malcolm Hamilton states that there is “an extensive revival of magic in contemporary culture with a marked intensification of interest in holistic and alternative medicine, the paranormal and the rise of New Age and NeoPaganism.” (Hamilton 1995: 37) Judging by what Ammerman and Hamilton have said, does that mean that Paganism is alternative or marginal? Does that mean that those who self-identify as pagan are alternative or marginal?

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Exerpt from Paper for Religions of the 21st Century: Pagan Conversion Narratives 

In North America especially, there has been a decline in religious interest and an increase in secularization or religious pluralism, some have called it an increase in civil religion. (Hunt 2002) Religion seems to have moved to the back-burner of everyday living or has become a very private matter that does not intermingle with other civil actions in day-to-day living. (Hamilton 1995) Commercialism and consumerism has dominated our society rendering much of religious practice “invisible”. (O’Toole 1984)

This leaves a gap in the spiritual psyche that needs filling. This gap is the top of a pyramid of needs developed by Abraham Maslow. The base needs of any individual are physical (air, water, food, sleep, etc.), safety (from sickness and harm), love (both physical and emotional comfort and the sense of being loved), and esteem (sense of competency and belonging). (Gwynne 1997) Among Maslow’s the higher needs is self actualization, which the desire to maximize one’s potential (may include knowledge and understanding, aesthetics, serving “causes” like the environment). After all these, there is another need, an extrapolation that is often simply implied in the self-actualization need. This is the spiritual need. People need to feel spiritually fulfilled to some extent, to follow a spiritual calling. (Norwood 2003) When there is a gap in one or more of these needs, the individual feels dissatisfied.

It is this sense if spiritual dissatisfaction that has led to many people rethinking such things as their careers or the spiritual or religious path. Stephen Hunt calls it the Crisis Theory, where there is a sense of social or psychological or spiritual malfunction, moral ambiguity, decline of community, and a search for identity. (Hunt 2002) Bryan Wilson echoes Hunt’s theory with his own, referred to as the Deprivation Thesis. Wilson states that the individual must feel like his/her needs are being met, that they have a raison d’etre for living. (Wilson 1982) Hunt indicates that after a decline in religion, there is the post-modernist resurgence of religion: a “rejection of modern” constructs; a “revalorization of tradition”; and a “rise of new values and lifestyles.” (Hunt 2002: 37)

SNARL!!!~~~GRRRRrrrrRRRRrrrr~~~!!!!! 

This is proving to be both a fascinating and infuriating paper. I am still working on my Religions of the 21st Century paper. I will get it to 15 pages, through blood, sweat and tears. The guidelens foce the student to make a paper nearly as incoherent as the trash we had to read for the course. SO... I am adhering to only a small part of these guidelines and burning the rest in favor of a smooth and flowing paper. I am strongly writing from a subjective anthropology of religion perspective using narrative fieldwork. EVERYTHING is subjective! So be it. I had to rewrite the damned introduction twice now. I am finally on page 9 and have 6-7 pages to go. I have currently lost 1 pint of 40 and will lose anoth tomorrow for the paper being late. I am striving to get it finished tonight so that a friend can look it over before I hand it in. She will edit tomorrow morning and email it back to me by 10 AM... bless her! This is going to be a LONG night!

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Grinding Away 

Yes, indeed I did celebrate a bit yesterday. Watched another anime set of "X" while enjoying McDonald's... Hey we's not got much money at the moment. I played some Age of Wonders Shadow Magic, too. Sadly, I did not do any work on the CMS textbook. SORRY! Later I started to reread Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar series, starting with the Black Gryphon from the Mage Wars trilogy (earliest book in Valdemar's chronological history).

Today... I am back in at the grind. I am now working on my Anthropology:Religions of the 21st Century paper. It is due at 6pm tonight. It is supposed to be 15-20 pages long. Well... it is currently only 6 pages. I am grinding away at it. I have one hour left to accomplish as much as I can. If I do not finish, I automatically lose 1 point from 40 per day late. I can live with that. I want an awesome paper. I should be finished it Wednesday night (as I must work Wednesday) and so will hand it in on Thursday. So... 2 points gone for lateness. I still hope to send it to be edited before I hand it in. Ideally, I want a 38 on 40 mark. Yes, I am an idealist... and not a realist.

Wednesday night my ethnography is also due... but that is on hold till I finish the first paper. I will hand it in on April 13th before I go for my Grad photos. I might have to write my exam then too... but I have not heard from my teacher yet on that. Likely, I will hand her my ethnography and she will hand me an exam. So, easter will be a very BUSY weekend for me....

With a few surprises, well, pseudo-surprises. Some dedications will be in order this weekend. I am so excited! And I am not even the one getting dedicated!!

By the way, CMS Level 1 students... I heard that your first exam went very well! Good luck on the second exam!

And to all those at university doing the crunch and grind like me... Good luck to you too!

Monday, April 05, 2004

YAY!!! One Off the List! 

I just finished and handed in my Interview Analysis. Whew! What a relief to have it DONE!
Done done done....
*Scarlet doing a happy dance all around her temple/office*

Now I celebrate! How? Dunno yet. I think I will go rent anime for tonight. I will also work on something very different from school... oh... like the second distance Level 2 book on "the Arts & the Craft" so I can get it handed out to someone to edit.

Oh, well... I guess I will also work on more homework too. I have a 15-20-page thesis format Anthropology paper of "Pagan Conversion Narratives" to hand in tomorrow at 6pm in my Religions of the 21st Century (Anthropology 425) class.


Sunday, April 04, 2004

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 

Today is my brother's birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
We miss you!
We will send you something.
We will come visit after the wedding.

Love your baby sister

(and DON"T ANYONE CALL ME THAT IN PUBLIC OR YOU DIE!)

Good Morning 

Yes, it feels like a good morning. I have company overnight... NO it is NOT what you think! Get your minds out of the gutters!!! No we had a LAN party of 3 with Age of Wonders. FUN! It was a great reviving break from homework.

My Level 2 class was fun yesterday, thoug rushed. Normally it would have been a 30min. discussion and then 2.5 hours of cultural crafts where the students would ba able to finish the crafts in class. But the textbooks never arrived and the students were not able to do the readings in advance... so it was 1 hour + of lecture and less than 2 hours for crafts where none of the crafts got finished. Perhaps next week will be better. I will give 30min of lecture, 30min. of discussion, and 2 hours of crafts.

Oooo Oooo Oooo... today the Level 3 start POTIONS! They are all teasing me and asking if I will be as mean as Prof. Snape. If you don't know who that is... you are obviously deprived/uneducated/unworldly. He is one of the MAIN character in the books and films of Happry Potter. Anyways, todays class will be learning how to make their own oils and blends, as well as various forms of incense and herbal blends.

On the Homework front:
I am 1/3 done on my Interview analysis. I will be finished tonight and hand it in Monday morning.
I should also be able to start my Religions of the 21st Century paper on Pagan Conversion Narratives. I need to ask if a little owl is up for a last minute edit for spelling and grammar on this paper Monday night or early Tuesday morning as the teacher will be docking 1/2 a point for each spelling or grammatical error she finds. GAK.

Friday, April 02, 2004

Grumble... family 

I am at my Mom's right now. I am waiting for laundry to be dry. That will be an hour. Groan. My sister is here, obviously... 'nuff said.

M-SB and I went to Costco. I wish I had more money. There are all kinds of stuff there that I want. But what I really want is at Walmart. It is a leather rocking chair, not one with the arcs. It costs only $125. Sigh. It would go really well in my office in my reading sanctuary. It would be like when Taunih and I would rock and read. I miss that time of peace and quiet.

My mom just came in and showed... pseudo-interest in what I was doing. How strange. Whatever. She needs a break with some peace and quiet too. I think I will get her 2 Mother's Day gifts: the one I have set aside and a day of peace and quiet (I will come over and cook and clean for her for the day... or maybe take my niece and sister out for the day somewhere.

Can you tell I am BORED?!? I am trying to spend an HOUR blogging just to keep me occupied till the laundry is dry.

I am almost finished transcribing. as soon as I get home I will finish it, only 3 or 4 more sentences to transcribe. Then the analysis must be written. That will be Saturday night's task.

sigh.........................

WinterWolf and Miaka are planning something for me. WW is teasing me about it. Apparently, he gave me a hint... but I was obviously out of it and don't remember. NOW, M-SB also knows about it. It is a good thing I have too much homework to obsess about what it could be. not many people can actually truly surprise me. It is a rare thing! Even now... I won't really be surprised as I am expecting "something". And now i hear that more people need to get involved. I am worried.

GAK!!! BORED!!!

Ahhh... slept in... and no not THIS late (till noon) 

It was nice not to be woken! I caught up on some much needed sleep.

Yesterday I met with My Thesis advisor. I have to expand on some things I wrote. I was trying to be super consice so as not to be too far off my main topic. But i was obviously too consice. Well, good, I get to add in the stuff I edited out! YAY! The title of mt Thesis is:

Wicca & Witchcraft: Legality and Recognition in Canada (or lack thereof)

I will post more about it later... next week. Right now... I am STILL transcribing. I have to finish the transcription today and write the damned analysis. Then dive into another 20-page paper due for Tuesday night and my ethnography (30-pages) for Wednesday night. UGGHhh!

Cloak (M-SB's bad cat with the thumbs) is being really cute, vurled on my lap so very patiently... purring. He has taken up this habit while I do homework since Taunih hadn't been able to be in my lap. And since M-SB is not home. Oh well... booting him off. I want my rice for lunch.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

Reading Response 

I had just finished teaching a seminar on Rites of Passage to a group of adults. Victor turner was among the names I suggested. I had discussed Rudolf Otto, who coined the term, NUMINOUS, to mean the sacred or pertaining to the Otherworld or pertaining to sacredness perceived by people. I had discussed Mircea Eliade’s works on ritual and experience and his discourses on sacred and profane and hierophanies (physical manifestations of the sacred). Clifford Geertz’s religion as a cultural system of symbols was also important. Emile Durkheim was equally important as he focused on the internal complexity, sacred versus profane, and liminality. So, here, I will focus on Victor Turner’s article, “Liminality and Community”.

Victor Turner follows a Durkheimian Approach to the study of religion, as he discusses Van Gennep’s concept of liminality. What is all that jargon? Durkheim is a scholar who explored the views about the Sacred and how people perceived and reacted to it. Van Gennep’s concept of LIMINALITY begins with the word limens, which is Latin for threshold. The concept embodies the idea that people in ritual or rites of passage are on the threshold of this world and the Otherworld, in a transitional state or a sacred/numinous state of being. This is an ambiguous state. Turner focuses on this concept in his article as he describes rites of passage in relation to communities. There are actually three stages, of which Liminal is the second. The first stage is Separation (from the community at large). The second stage is that Liminal, “betwixt and between,” stage as one is Between the Worlds (as a Pagan might say). The third stage is Aggregation or Reintroduction (to the community at large). (p. 147)

Let’s look at Victor Turner’s article, where he addresses the concept of community. The word has two possible roots on Latin. Turner describes the first, comitatus, which means community, to be a “communion of equal individuals who submit together to the general authority of the ritual elder.” (p. 148) Although Turner clearly states he prefers the second possibility of communitas, which means community, social relations, area of common living (both sacred and secular) “giving recognition to the essential and generic human bond.” (p. 149) I especially like the East Asian link he made to Zen Buddhism how communitas was earlier like the Zen Buddhist view of “All is one, one is none, none is all.” (p. 153)

To reintegrate Van Gennep’s stages of rites of passage and Turner’s communitas, I have to quote from the article: “There is a dialectic here, for the immediacy of communitas gives way to the mediacy of structure, while, in ‘rite de passage’, men are released from structure into communitas only to return to structure revitalized by their experience of communitas.” (p. 153)

I found Turner very useful for his views on community, as I believe you cannot truly look at rites of passage without looking at community and social involvement/exclusion.

Morning All. 

My Ethnography teachers is saintly patient. She gave me another exam date so I did not have to write last night. And one of my ethnography informants came through!!! THANK HER!!! I don't have to transcribe her interview, it came types via email with passive consent. I really hope she is feeling better as she has the nasty cold thing I was sick with... hers changed to pneumonia.

I got woken this morning by a call from Bell Canada trying STILL to reach my sister for money she owes them. I passed on the message last month. Then they called me almost every 3 days. a week or so ago, when they woke me, I told them off and hung up. This morning, it was a different guy. I told him off too and hung up. Next time... I threaten with a harrassment suit.

So now I am awake and feel like shit. Four shots of alcohol mixed into a yummy drink and downed in an unusual less then an hour probably is contributing to my nausious state. I woke at 2AM and was awake for 2-ish hours too. Bagheera (my big black cat) murmled and mewed down the hall and tried waking me around 8AM. But I ignored him.

I have class at 1pm where I must hand in a reading response on chapter in a book: Culture and Society: Contemporary Debates edited by Jeffery C. Alexander and Steven Seidman. I am going to focus on the chaper by Victor Turner (mentioned in an earlier post) called "Liminality and Community". I will post it here when I am done.

Then I have to finish transcribing the interview I have been transcribing all week. I was supposed to finish that last night and work on the Interview analysis, as I told my ethnography teacher I would hand it in today... but ... well... hopefully I will drop it off friday.

I have a meeting with my Thesis Advisor today after class. I hope she likes my thesis so far. I am ready to work on the next section of it, but want feedback before I do.

Then I have to pack the collosal amounts of laundry (including many blankets and beeding and towels the Taunih had bled on over the week) and drive out to start laundry at my Mom's. I get Mark from work and take a trip to Walmart too for a couple of livingroom chairs. And finally back to my Mom's to watch Mad Mad House as she has cable and I don't. Fiona Horne is keeping a running journal of what goes on behind the scenes (at least regarding her) on each episode. It is VERY interesting! There were some very nasty criticisms about Mad Mad House and Fiona by some leading Pagans in the North American communities. Kerr Cuhulain has written the not critical article at this link. You can see a wonderful counter article by Phyllis Curott here.

Ok... I have rambled enough.

Well, no I haven't. Yesterday, Pet Friends arrived at the vet to pick up Taunih for cremation (which will happen Friday or Saturday). They "picked up my angel and left another behind for me". They left me a cute pin of a pewter cat with gold angel wings and a gold halo. She is on my altar until I get the ashes back at the end of next week. There is a link in my sidebar to Pet Friends. I highly recommend them if you are considering cremating a pet. They are very compassionate and understanding. They offer councilling and other services. I asked for an unsealed urn as I will do a ritual with Taunih's ashes and want to add herbs and other things to them.

Ok, now I am done rambling. I will go get breakfast and write my reading response.