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Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Oy what a bad day. 

Not as bad for me as it was for others... but damn... it was bad! Frustrated. Everyone was frustrated about something or someone or several things/people. Chaos with scheduling. That is always a headache, but more so when school schedules suddenly make life really difficult. Some misunderstandings and some overtime and a couple losses to personal desires (again not mine, but I feel the effects). Friends injured and hurting for a variety of reasons. It was just a bad day.

Oh... and gas prices just jumped to $1.35/L!!!!!

BAD DAY (by Daniel Powter)
Had a bad day again
Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day

roleplaying 

ahhh... I am in a great mood. It was a good fun rp with Roo. Gets the creative juices flowing... especially since I am playing a raw gifted talent bard. Fun fun fun. Time for bed so I can sleep and do what needs doing tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Napping 

Wow... Napping and sleep does wonders for the body and mind. I had a good 2 hour nap. Startled by a phone call... but that was ok. Rick is a sweety. We chatted and ranted and chatted. He improved my mood greatly this evening. THANK YOU!

And ya, I neglected everything on my list in favor of that nap.

Now I am awake and feel better and more productive. Still not going to clean this evening. I will tomorrow when I get home. Tonight I am looking at my thesis for ideas on how to shift it into an article format. Some of it so far isn't half bad. I am not going to do anything with it tonight... just giving it a read through.

I plan on having fun for a few evenings and then gettong down to business. I direly need to recharge my peraonal batteries.

downhill 

The day was that. It started ok and I tagged folks online for a brief bit. Then got asked to come help interview the potential new employee. I had errands too, so Off I went.

I discovered Monday's fiasco to be continuing today. Ugh. That will get fixed by Friday. One way or another.

Mom thankfully loaned me the money for my school book. $120. EEEK! It will be ready Thursday. YIPPEEE! I can hardly wait to get started.

Off to pay my ticket to discover that there were actually 2!!! but I had no notice to pickup a letter about it. GRRRRR!!!!! I paid for one and have until the 1st to pay the other. UGH! This week's pay was supposed to go to school. Guess it goes to the ticket instead. I then had to wait 2.5 hrs at the Regie Automobile or whatver it is called to confirm the payment of the ticket and have her remind me as well that there is another due in 2 days. I felt like shit and frustrated. Just never enough money. I am always playing friggen catch-up. *sigh*

And I got home around 5pm and had not eaten. Before becoming incoherent, I snacked on the left-over pasta.

I am feeling very moody. Tired. Fed up. Oh I am SOOOOOO hiding this weekend.

Ugh... and gas priced shoot up again tomorrow. Crap. Crap cause I am out of gas.

What will I do tonight?
-clean my room
-clean the kitchen
-work on CMS Level 2 stuff and Teaching Specialty stuff
-chill with Roo and maybe rp a bit
Or maybe I will just "relax" and rp with Roo.

I feel kinda pulled 15 ways. ANd like I am about to start a difficult time of school with no reserves... and no backup nor support. Anxiety. Going to lie down now.

some nights are good... 

And then there are ones like tonight where I feel so very very sad... sad and lonely... sad. Like I will never be loved the way I hope to be, like I will never have the dream I dream, like I will only be loved and liked and appreciated for what I do in the world and not for just me.

Some people make me feel so beautiful and like I can accpomplish anything. They used to make my heart sing.

But they were never the ones I really needed that feeling from. ANd they are not in my life or are not the ones I want in my life. I don't want to just be "ok" or "nice" or "you've done so much... look at the school you made" or "hey, you are incredible, look at your grades and community service"... I just want to be "hey, you are so beautiful and I love you with all my heart"... I want to be mother, wife, teacher, lover, learner... I want my dream.

*just wanting to be held and not afraid to sob with my hidden insecurities*

Monday, August 29, 2005

Grumble... snarl... FFFffft... FFFffftttt! *oh and SQUEEE!!!* 

I was ill all morning. Ugh. Evil yummy pie with chocolate. I finally made it out and drove to pay my ticket. DAMMIT. They would not accept my money. I have to drive to the courthouse thingy where you can pay those instead.... tomorrow.

Got to work still feeling kinda shitty. Sorted the chaos of the day out and wondered were some people were for the day. There was a moment of freaking out and then a moment of anger and then livid fury... and then cold set in and the leaders in us all took over. We evaluated our options, made some calls and confirmed a few plans. Then we decided to let things settle. It was likely just a crisis reaction and not really what we thought. Doesn't mean I was any less pissed off.

And as that settled down to possible and solid reality... the mailman came with an envelope... If he stuck around I would have hugged him! Addressed to the store. The manager opened it... and we SQUUEEED at the top of our lungs!!!

SERENITY primiere movie passes!!!!!!

That made the day for quite some time. The other dramas continued... but not there. Thankfully. We ran into a scheduling snag for employees and work/school schedules and key-holders. Resolution. New employee needed. Next resolution. Keys to one of the new employees, maybe. Excellent. We can work it all out. We will have confirmation tomorrow from everyone. "A problem is just an opportunity in desguise." And I think we can handle it.

In the end, the day progressed smoothly and I went to see a movie: The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Scary... more scary because it is based on a true story.

OH! and as I got home... My registration confirmation was in my inbox of my email!! YAY! I am officially registered!!! YAY!!!! I start a week from tomorrow!!!

Last thing! CMS now has a confirmed PayPal business account that can accept debit, paypal and credit card payments!!! YAY! now just need to figure out how to get that into the website!

Mississippi Mud Pie 

Very yummy. I had like 5 bites. Very deadly. I am in much ill-feeling pain. OMG ill-feeling pain. Too much chocolate. I didn't think there would be and I only had five bites, not even a full piece. But Ugh... I am ill and in pain. Stomach pain. Please everyone be patient with me today.

ugh... want to go to bed and can't 

I made my sauce. Mmmmm... it was a big hit! And yum I have a bit left!!! The BBQ was small, intimate. The nosy neighbors advised us on how to get the BBQ to work. We were so stuffed on food! ANd had a great time watching Bulletproof Monk. Dimitri's place looks SO awesome. You would never think a bachelor lives there. NEVER! I felt ashamed of my place.

Got back to do the kennel. The little dog did not bite me, thankfully. And that was my LAST time working for the vet clinic. WEEHEE!!!

Got in the apaprtment to discover it gross, muggy, humid, and stuffy. I put on my fans and started laundry. It is still going... thus I am still up.

It has sunk in that my thesis advisor and my current MA advisor want me to publish my undergrad honours thesis in those grad level religion journals. EEK! I did not think it was very good. I will need to seriously rework it so it does not refer readers to an appendix. And it has to be submitted accoring to the guidelines before October 15th. EEK!

I am feeling a bit cross-eyed at the moment. I want to go to sleep.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Burnt... listless 

I am so very very exhausted. The staff meeting went well. Just early. Ugh. It was nice to do brunch with Roo at Chez Cora. But we were both just so exhausted. Life has kinda been brutal this year. I so am not tackling my to do list. Some things I will do this evening... like the kennel and laundry. ANd I will make my sauce before the BBQ. But napping was priority today.

Gods... will I have the energy to tackle this semester?

I feel like the life has just been sucked right out of me!

Saturday, August 27, 2005

To Do list Tomorrow 

1- Store Staff Meeting (print customer service lecture notes for everyone and email a copy to myself... I forgot to do that last week)

2- take care of the dog at the kennel

3- organize and CLEAN my bedroom

4- LAUNDRY *dammit*

5- thoroughly clean house

6- set up Timid's new snake tank (now that it is sufficiently aired out)

7- Store Staff BBQ (make dipping sauce and bring sausages, cauliflower, and sour cream)

CMS takes another step forward 

CMS now has its own PayPal account. I am still sorting out how to set it up on the website.

And by the end of September it will have an ING savings account (to one day get something important like a location or land or something).

The student and teacher ID cards are incredible. The business cards are too but we cannot yet afford to print them.

All the 1st payments for students registering go into setting up and whatnot. One day... I will be able to pay teachers real salaries... and be able to support my own living. $1.25/hr/student is a rotten pay... but then... I am not teaching for the money... it is just a bonus at this point. It helps cover things like eating and gas for the car. I teach because I love to do so. I love to see the students learn and challenge them... and be challenged by them and myself learn from them. To see them smile in wonderment and discovery... that is so rewarding. Better than $1.25/hr!!

What the Bleep... 

The movie...

Food for thought
Thought for creation of personal reality

Choices

Now what?

Wondering... can one undo the choices one has made to create/recreate the reality they hope for? Affirmations and positive thinking... Dreaming. Regrets. Loss. Dreams. Hope. Fear. Love. What am I addicted to? What am I really afraid of? What do I really want? Can I undo choices I had made? Can I make new ones?

What now?
What do I really want out of life?

A very complex dream. But can I manifest it? Not alone. But are there any people out there who can share parts and help me? Do they want to? What is this dream?

I want... *feels some anxiety at sharing*
I realize I am afraid to share my whole dream.... afraid someone will take it away or undermine it and ruin the joy of hoping and working for it.
"get real"
"why don't you think about getting a real job"
"stop wasting your time, you aren't getting any younger"

Do I want the impossible? Is it impossible? Did I sabotage myself in attempting to achieve what I hoped for? I want a certain kind of life that I can see in my mind's eye... so clearly I can almost taste, smell, and touch it. But it is not real... only a possibility. And meeting my needs and the needs of others along the way... well, I seem to have an inordately difficult time doing so.

How do I change my percetions to not be afraid to take the steps I want to take.
To not run from certain challenges... or bury myself in other challenges?
I do that.
When I cannot find a solution or am so lost and pained, I bury myself in what I know I can do.
So now what?

In this dream that I want... I want to feel/be beautiful and happy... content. I know life is not perfect. But I need things to work towards to i feel like I have and am nothing. In a relationship, I need mutual goals... or the relationship losing meaning... and becomes nothing. In work I need to have goals or the career losing meaning and is no longer worth being part of. I just want to be content, feel happy and beautiful sometimes (more often than not). People need to hear that they are. I need to hear it. I almost believed it some time ago. ANd then lost it... then it found me again ... and now... it is quite lost... along with a large part of the dream I want to manifest. I want to find it again... and someone with whom to share it. If that is possible. Maybe a few someone's.

I feel a need to purge again. Get rid of things that are frustrating me or make me feel "ugly" or "stupid" or "useless". I need to feel refreshed and loved... hopeful... happy. I need a little helping hand with that I think. I know the largest part of that I have to do myself. My choice. Attitude is choice. But validation is really helpful. We spend lots of time self-doubting our abilities and undermining our self-image. It is so hard when for many years you have only received negative messages... to believe positive ones. ANd we need to hear the positive ones from the people that really matter to our lives. If we only hear negative ones from them, or never hear positive ones... then we never think beyond that and come to believe that the negative ones are true, even if they are not. And then... we make poor chices based on flawed judgement.

Oh Spirit, oh self, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

I have given up or sacrificed or rather chosen to not live a "normal" 9-5 career and strive to manifest a spiritual learning centre and rise to the educational challenges to one day teach at the higher educational levels... but that means doing without and struggling financially... always. ANd more... it also means trusting ly life, survival and care... sometimes in someone else. Trust. I have a hard time with that. Always have.

I know what I can do. Can I trust in another to do what is needed? Can I release my hold and allow someone else to take the reigns? I want to. Badly. But then that person has to want to occasionally... and... have goals too of their own that I can be part of and support.

ok... this blog took a turn I was not anticipating. I am going to stop now before it gets too personal.

tired.... 

Oh so tired. I could not sleep last night. I was tired and wired at the same time and my tooth hurt. I curled up on the end of M-SB's bed again to watch him play his video game. I am not sure whether it is the blue room or his presense... but it was relaxing and comforting. I slept there for 2 hrs and woke to roll over and sleep there another 2 hrs. At 4am I wandered to my bed. He was still playing.

I am still tired. Burnt from the week and all. So much excitement, good and bad and good.

Last reception day at the vet. I don't want to go. I want to sleep.

Ugh... and have to be up early again tomorrow for a store staff meeting. Good thing I don't have any other commitments that day. Do I? A BBQ later in that day.

Damn... need to do laundry STILL.

Ugh... tired....

Friday, August 26, 2005

Last words before bed 

OW! Ow ow ow...

I have a toothache. I have a cavety I have neglected due to finances. I need to get registered so I can have the insurance and deal with this bad tooth.

ow...

time for powerful advil... the 500 mg stuff.

CRAZY! crazy crazy crazy 

THANK YOU AUTUMN for showing up despite things that really need your attention. You have NO IDEA how much better that made me feel. I was so stressed. More than usual for not having the foundational folks in my life there.

As for the day. WOW! CRAZY CRAZY!

I rushed about like a nit to get stuff together and forgot my drum as I left the house. The whirlwind I was left chaos behind in my bedroom. I will have to clean it up before the weekend is out or I will go mad. And dear Gods my back HURTS!

I got in and opened the store and soon after had to rush out to register. That was EXCITING! The professor/advisor was impressed with me and suggested I do what few MA students (usually only PhD students) do and get into the Religion and grad student journals that all universities look at to pick their teachers from. He feels that my foci of Paganism and of East Asian religions will surely land me a teaching job and hell, if I had my MA now he would drop a contract in my lap at this moment. WOW! Talk about INCENTIVE! He feels I can likely land a TA position too even though I am just a first semester MA student. WEEHEE! And all that because of the fields I want to focus on and that I was almost offered a position last year to teach... but I did not have an MA then. *POUT* I so want to live up to those high expectations! I WANT that teaching job BADLY! Wow... I was away from the university a whole year and was very remembered... and remembered well. WEEHEE! *ALL GIDDY* That meeting took an hour as opposed to 15min. But was SO worth it. He loaned me his copies of the Academic Journals. I have to look through them and get them back to him. WOOHOO... my first assignment: take one of my three great works of last BA and transform them into an article and get it published. YAY!

The day was BUSY BUSY BUSY at the store when I got back. I never really got to eat. Inhaled some beef jerky and that was it. I didn't even get to finish all the orders. I will go in early on Monday to tackle what I left undone so the manager is not overwhelmed on her first day back from vacation.

I then ran out to get a nibbly, some CD's to burn teacher CD's for CMS, crickets for my gecko, and another table cloth. And began the whole setting up thing for CMS. Others showed up. I was stressing all day about the Open House. This was the first year I was not going to have the people I have considered such a foundation in my like to be there and be moral support. I was way freaked out on a deep deep level. I am glad I can hide in the back to cry now and again without notice. Autumn showing up... was such a relief. OMGs. And things seemed to progress smoothly. And the new girls handled things not too badly. It was SUPER SUPER busy in the store. Crowds of students helping out. Crowds of new students coming to see the Open House. Crowds of general customers. Crowds of people in the MPRC (great work to Dave who was on shift and flowed with it all so well!). Clean-up went smooth too. MANY MANY MANY thanks to all you CMS folks for helping out. I have yet to sort registration stuffs. I might save that for tomorrow afternoon. And try to get some sleep tonight.

I am now home. My gecko is now happy and fed. And I am destressing from the day. Trying to unpack.... I got distracted by the loaned journals. I could not help but read through the submission guidelines. Oooo.... I cannot hardly wait to tackle this. I have till October 15th. I can do it.

hehe... my gecko is hunting her crickets. Claok tried to hunt her crickets through the glass and she tried to attack Claok for trying. HEEHEE. That startled Claok so much he toppled from the tank. LOL.

Guess what tomorrow is... MY LAST DAY working as reception at the vet clinic! I will still be doing kennel duty for the weekend. But it is the LAST time I do it!! I let them know that I can be called in for emergencies if I am not busy with anything else. I also offered to train the new weekend person. I wonder who that will be.

Ok... off to bed to drool over the journals some more. WEEHEE!

Ugh... still up 

Don't ask. Don't know why.

What was done... and what is being done 

Well... busy busy busy... when am I not?! Sleep? What is that?

I got to bed late as you can see by the timestamp on my last post. Waking was... hard. I did not get the morning stuff done I wanted to. But the day was busy nonetheless.I printed the ritual and located my handfasting notes. Mark got up as I did and retrieved the BBQ... and Firefly to return. *sigh* I got to work and was busy busy busy. Set the new girl to restocking herbs. Didn't really get lunch. *pout* The handfasting folks cancelled... we will reschedule. Met with Richard and Samantha from Jars of Stars. WOW! OMGS! The ID cards... WOW! You will all see them in due course. They have photos on them (for those that got me photos in time). WOW! They will be handed out at registration tomorrow. Hope to see everyone there!!!

I managed to get dinner from U & Me... it was ok. Not going to order that dish again. Too much onions and zuccini (sp?). Bleh. Then tackled setting up the CMS Open House stuff. I think I did ok. So far. Now I need stuff from folks to go on the tables. I took some photos of the Level 2 items and set them out on display.

MPRC was busy this evening! There was a new person dropping in to become a volunteer. She was interviewed on the spot and will begin training next week. Then a couple other people came in. Hobbes was busy all night! I love seeing this in the MPRC. It should be like this ALL THE TIME! *grin* There was a moment of panic as all the tables for the front where the food and info were to be were either way too big or way too small. After freaking out for 10minutes and sitting down to buzz through the situation and possibilities and breathe through the stress... I had a flash that there might be a table in the upstairs storage I could use. And LO! There was! It was my heavy duty *HEAVY* quality table. The one I forgot to arrange help to take home. *heavy* OH! Did I say it was heavy!? Hobbes helped me bring it downstairs. Thank you! It fit perfectly. I put the final touches on what I could and sat for a bit of relax. There was some store closing stress... but I am sure it will be sorted out. I stress about tomorrow.

I got home... missing saying my goodbyes to folks. Now I am burning the HALO soundtrack that Rick loaned me. I NEED TO GET BLANKS! Dammit. On my errands for tomorrow. I cleaned my fishy. He is not sure if he likes this. He likes the cruddy ucky water. I hope we will find a happy medium between what he likes and what I like. I have to get him real food. Also on tomorrow's errand list.

Paying the ticket will wait till Monday. I dropped $$ into my visa and paid off stuff I owed in the store. I have a lovely clip that actually holds my hair! AT last! My other one broke. *pout* This is a solid metal one with Triskeles. *grin* I forgot however to get change for laundry! ARGH! Laundry in the sink again I guess. *Grumble*

Now I am working on what I need to print for tomorrow:
- pamphlets
- level 1 letters and level 1 homework checklists
- level 3A letters, agendas, and homework checklists
- level 3B letters, agendas, and homework checklists
- teacher name tags
- student name tags
- memos

Tired... want to sleep. But so much to do. EVIL! I am getting evil paper cuts.

EMAIL GRIPE:
What part of "NO THANK YOU" do some people NOT understand?!?! *blocked sender*

Damn. Printer is getting hot. I will turn it off when I am done. Must remember to budget in new ink cartrige this year. I am not out yet... but I do not want to run out in the middle of printing level 1 workbooks.

I started this blog and the work in it at 11pm... it is now past midnight. Yes... still up. Printing last bit of stuff. So actually not to bad as printing goes.

I wonder... can I log the costs of my MA Religion as a business expense? What about if I am receiving loans & bursaries for it?

Tired. Done printing. Last night's lack of sleep effecting me. Done printing. Oh... siad that already. Wow... tired. Ok... going to bed. I will pack stuff for tomorrow, tomorrow.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Neato... 

Hotaru
Your Japanese name should be

'Hotaru'


which means "firefly".

You're like
a firefly, full of energy and always moving.
You can't sit at home for a long time, you just
have to DO something! You're very active and
passionate.


Which Japanese name fits you best? [females, 9 results + absolutely stunning ANIME pictures!]
brought to you by Quizilla


GODS! Will this day ever end? 

Work went well... busy but well. Deposited my pay and got a bit of gas. Got some sushi and headed out to Airea to sort CMS Finances. Now I leave it in her hands. EEEK! I have... OMG's delegated the task. *quivvers in shock* We watched a couple episodes of Firefly over tea to relax. Then I rushed home for an online conference with some folks to sort out a few things. That went well too... I think. Then opened my email. EEK! 80+ emails since the morning!!!??? (including the 5 I saw at lunch) And the nightmare of scheduling. I want to scream. You have NO IDEA HOW BADLY!!!

And I still have not done my MUST DO TONIGHT list.

Laundry. Dammit. Will wash a couple necessities in the sink before bed and hope they are dry by morning. Poor fishy ... guess I will change his water in the morning. I never found my book and vaguely remember loaning it out and never getting it back. Sorry to Amanda who will now not have it. Well I will move Level 2 to the February session anyways. I needed more confirmations before now. It also gives a set of level 1's time to get into it so there will be more likeliyhood of the minimum 3 students.

I have not yet had "dinner"... though the sushi can I guess be considered that.

Crap, have to put together the Handfasting info to prep for the meeting for that at 3pm tomorrow. Where the *bleep* did those notes go? I guess I will print a new copy of the ritual. OY! and I am supposed to burn a copy of a CD for tomorrow to give back to Rick. That will get done in the morning.

Fresh list of To Do's:
- wake (duh)... and all that stuff that comes with waking
- clean fishy bowl
- print ritual
- burn CD for me si Rick can have his back.
- wake Mark so he can take BBQ out of the car to give back to the Owls' Court
- call Financial Aid for school to see if they got the doc I had to send them
- pay ticket and hope there is money left
- work at the store till 3pm
- meet with hadnfasting people at 3pm
- Meet with Jars of Stars for the cards and stuffs (WEEHEE!)
- eat dinner around 6pm (ish) maybe with company... maybe not
- if there is money from the morning, get crickets for gecko and meat human meals
- start the set-up for the CMS Open House and make a list of needs for the next day
- get home and start printing what is needed for the Open House
- photograph the student works I have so I can get them back to the students at the Open House
- get some change and do laundry while printing and taking pictures
- put together University Registration stuff

EEGADS! That is alot for one day.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Lunch @ Work 

Woohoo... I am on lunch at work. I am poking into here because the floor is mildly busy and I do not want to completely abandon the new girl. There are still things she is learning. Also... I need to send myself a reminder...

SCARLET DO THIS!!
- remember to bring the book for Amanda for L2
- ask about MPRC baord meeting to discuss markerboard in a more public location
- CMS printouts!

Reheated Italian poutine is not exactly spectacular... but tolerable for lunch. 2 days of poutine... ugh... I am going to need to do lots of walking and the gym after this!

I am "impatient" today with people. And ... trying to be nice to everyone. That time of month. No... it is not an excuse for being a bitch and being rude, but I feel ill, cramped and generally uncomfortable. Extra Strength 400mg advil is my best friend today. Nibbling my Cozy Shack rice pudding to ease my cravings.

Ok... back to work... my lunch has been much interrupted and hardly taken. But I prefer that to flounderings. At least I know I can leave her sometimes. I just like being there to answer a few of the qns she might have as she learns.

ANOTHER REMINDER:
Scarlet... DO LAUNDRY!!!

No Energy 

I actually got to sleep by 1:00am and slept till 8am whent he phone rang for the door. Whoever it was did not leave a message. I am SOOOOOO tired. There is so much to do! I am stressing and burnt.

- photograph student works in my possession
- list and print stuff for the Open House
- type stuff for the Student Works page
- set up the links and finish the Student Works page
- upload the pictures and finish the "Caught in the Act" page
- CMS finances (ugh)

I am going to Airea's place tonight for tea and sorting this mess out. I hate finances. ugh. I am so glad for her help! THANK YOU! I will bring things to watch and/or listen to as well.

And dammit. Financial Aid has not registered the document I sent them!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Better day 

I was almost late for work... but thankfully not. My car is sucking fumes not gas. I am out of money till tomorrow night's paycheck and hope I can suck fumes again tomorrow.

The day went really well. I enjoyed working with this new gilr very much. She did lots of restock. I typed up some great noted I took from a seminar on customer service. Tomorrow I will review jewelry cleaning and appointment booking and class registration. Maybe even go over the other stuffs like credit noted, and gift certificates. I have a French email for her to reply to and some other things. We will be VERY busy tomorrow. Then I have to do this ALL over again on Thursday (or at least start it) with the other girl. Overall, the day went real well.

I met with a teacher to go over a few things. We had tea and then just chatted a bit. It was nice and relaxing to just sit and chat. Her and I don't do that much. And I really love going out for tea with folks.

And then it was groceries with M-SB... that was good, too. And then yummy Bell Province... My mood is better... though still a bit lonely.

Now to work on more CMS stuff.

OH!!!! I got a new registration time for University! 12:15pm Friday. Wish me luck to get what I want!

Alnone vs Lonely 

There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.

ALONE:
Being apart from others; solitary.
Being without anyone or anything else; only.
Considered separately from all others of the same class.
Being without equal; unique.

LONELY:
Without companions; lone.
Characterized by aloneness; solitary.
Unfrequented by people; desolate: a lonely crossroads.
-Dejected by the awareness of being alone. Synonyms to alone.
-Producing such dejection: the loneliest night of the week.

The definitions are not even adequate.

To be alone is a choice. It is taking the time to not be with others while you sort your head and heart, think things through without being disturbed, enjoy the quiet and lack of distraction and drama of life.

To be lonely is a feeling and state not by choice. No one wants to feel lonely. It is painful, emotionally. It is feeling like there is nother and no one there for you. It is a feeling of deep loss. it is a worry of what there is for you after... if anything.

Last night, I felt lonely. Very lonely. My heart ached. I looked at my life and went... crap. No goals... not really. I have been running on empty for well... since November. I wanted to cry for all the things I gave up and lost. I wanted to cry for all the dreams I had that just don't look possible. Instead I curled up on the end of M-SB's bed and watched him play Knights of the Old Republic 2 till about 3:30am when I was nearly alseep there.

I hope today is better.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Spoiled fishy... new mess... 

I took out the frozen fish treat of what I thought was bloodworms. Nope. Brine shrimps. My betta is not particularly keen about them. Neither am I now. His bowl is now disgusting. I will have to clean it again tomorrow. As soon as I get a paycheck I will get him real food. Poor guy.

And while I watched him fuss about his "treat", I worked on the CMS student pages. I fixed the broken buttons. And I made the last 2 main pages, but have not don the links or sub-pages... nor have I uploaded it.

IKES! Almost forgot. I have to email student photos for their student ID's

Birthday 

Today is my sister's birthday. I called and wished her a happy birthday.

YAY! 

One good thing! I have a new registration time!! I register at 12:15 on Friday. Ugh. I have to ask to be covered over that time. It should not take long. But at least I will be registered.

I have been all confused this week. I keep thinking it is this week and yet financially that it is next week and it has been messing me up.

Good, I have a week to plan school prepping.

Cursed Day 

OI! woken at 7:30am

Just made it into work to discover i had forgotten thinbgs from Sunday. DOH! ANd then more wierdnesses began. There was this guy. I have no idea what he was on but OMGs he was high/wasted on something. And the day progressed to get wierder!!! Wierd people and situations... the next worse than the previous. Thank gods the day is over!

I will make perogies and have vanilla coke now to unwind. Maybe I will call Airea and see if she is up for some tea and movies tonight.

Feeling Crabby 

Someone rang my doorbell at 7:30am this morning. No, I did not answer it, but it did disturb my sleep. I tried to sleep more but only roughly dozed for a bit.

And I cannot easily book time to register. This is becoming a bit of a nightmare! I hope this gets resolved by tomorrow.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

What a DAY! 

Somehow... I struggled this morning. I shouldn't have. But I did. I missed the kennel this morning and missed dropping off the movie on my way in to work. But I managed to stop into Provigo and get egg bread and apple juice for the feast after the ritual in the evening.

As I walked into the store... I was blown away by the incredible new displays. WOW! Great work Saturday Staff! It looks fantastic. Then as I went to the back I was shocked by an amazing sight. The new MPRC sign!!!



The day went better than I expected. The new girl was fine today. A friend stopped in, Scott. He has been in Japan. GODS! I so want to go. I still can as the JET program made modifications to their age limit. It is still on my mind. I just don't want to be stuck there for a whole year alone. And at the moment, I am locked into a year intensive study in MA Religion. But... Hmmm... if I refocus a bit to East Asian studies... Hmmm... Maybe I can get in to the University there in Japan to do some of the courses? It is a thought. And I need to keep Salem in mind. And like I said... I don't want to go alone.

After that, I headed out for the ritual. There was just me, Scott, Airea, and WW for a while. Then Rosanne showed up... then Sarah, Val, Sylvie and her kids. We were missing LOTS of people. I sent WW back to the metro to try to locate some. I called a few to sicover that life took a turn and they were needed elsewhere. Ok. We modified things and in the end, the ritual went very well. I wish the other level 1 students were there to graduate. But oh well. They can still go into level 2. Their ritual will just have to be at Imbolc. Many pictures were taken. To show to the various teachers and students who could not make it. And some pictures were taken for the new student cards. WOOHOO! ANd then just before feast (evil Airea video-taped this), the level 2's surprised the heck out of me! That is the second time! A set of level 2's teamed up to get the great markerboard we use in the classroom (bring both teachers to tears with joy). This time, my students got for me The Council of Wolves statue-candleholder from my wishlist. I have coveted this for more than 4 years. But the company would not ship to Canada. I have no idea how they managed it. They really surprized me!!! We had a great small feast and just as we had packed, the sky opened and soaked us with the rain. And I mean to the BONE.

I dropped the movie off on my way home. And I tended to the cats in the Kennel. Got in and showed off my "teacher appreciation" gift to M-SB. He was cooled out too! It is a wonderful feeling. You are AWESOME students and have been a joy to teach. Thank you so very much. And yes... still surprized. I set the statue on my bed for some gawking and pictures.



AFter that... I touched base with other folks that missed the ritual... some by blog, some by email, some by phone. And had a hot shower to ensure I do not get sick after that drenching! Now... I am just riding on that great feeling I got from the evening. I was going to put the Council of Wolves on the altar in the livingroom/classroom/ritual room... but I think... I will change my shrine and put it there.

Waking 

One of those days... where you wish you didn't have to get up, you know you don't have to for at least 2 more hours... and yet... you are up. The sun is struggling to come out. I think it will be nice for the ritual tonight.

I need to bring:
- Blessing oil
- 3 blinfolds
- staff
- feast (not that I have a clue now!)
- feast gear
- certificates

Ok... all is packed except feast. I need breakfast.

- breakfast
- kennel duty
- return movie
- work at the store
- ritual
- kennel duty
- work on fixing CMS site (ya... i messed up the buttons on the student pages...doh)

Saturday, August 20, 2005

AARRGGHH! 

*grrrr... snarl*

You would think opening 3 cans of fruit, dumping them into a container to mix for a feast would be easy. But NOOO! Oh no... not for me! The Pinapple spilled on the floor as I tried to get it free of the can opener. The manderine had funny white dots all over them. And the papaya can exploded! Seriously! Like a popped cork of a bottle of champaign. *sigh* I have no feast food for tomorrow.

I consoled myself with a couple spoons of my coveted little bowl of pudding.

:(

Quiz 

alt_tag
What you need in life is Logic.
You need things to always make sense. You don't
believe in silly things, or believe in any
supersticious stuff. You're a very practical,
serious person, who enjoys studying, and
getting to know how things work. In fact..you
probably think taking quizzes is stupid....so
why are you? :P


What do you need in life?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Walk 

Ahhh... it was really nice out! M-SB helped me decide on fruit salad from feast tomorrow. I will make it in a bit. And so I headed out to the vet clinic to med the cat and feed the 3 cats. As I walked over, I remembered that I have gained a couple pounds and that I have neglected the gym. Well... not really neglected it. It isn't open when I can go to it. So, since it was so beautiful out, damp and humid but cool, I took a walk around the big park. Refreshing. I will do that more often. At least until I can get to the gym again. I really wish it didn't decide to close on Sundays. That was the best time for me. Well, now I have a feast food planned, some exercise done, the cats cared for. Time to plan the ritual. Well, it is kinda already planned, I just need to figure out what to bring. Blessing Oil. The Certificates and a black pen. A bowl and cup and spoons. And the fruit salad.

Tomorrow I work with the new girl. Gods... grant me patience.

Ok... off to make that fruit salad.

struggling through the day 

My body and mind just want to shut down. I managed to finally get the grad certificates done, with names and seals, and my signature. They only need the other teachers' signatures.

The big old mouse tank is clean and airing out. Timid will get moved into it sometime early this week.

I tried a new game, Knights of the Old Republic, on my computer. However, my videocard cannot handle it. Wierd. It can handle Star Wars Galaxies, but not this. Oh well.

M-SB and I made dinner together of chicken and rice. It was nice to have a change of flavor. But I am noticing that there is always more dishes to clean. Ugh. I just washed them. He must go bonkers trying to keep up with them. ANd geez, I am hardly ever home with this crazy schedule. How does there always seem to be so many dishes? Well, at least dinner was yummy.

I have not had the energy to make anything for the feast tomorrow. maybe I will bake something later or in the morning.

I will return the movie on my way to work tomorrow.

DOH! I have to go to the kennel this evening and med a cat. The vet clinic was busy today, despite that there was no vet in. People just kept coming in for various crises and stuff. Some just would not go away and seemed to yell at me as though I could do something about the problem with their pet. If they didn't leave their pet to suffer so long, then it would not be a problem to begin with! And one poor puppy... it came in power-puking like it was poisoned! It was only 4.5 weeks old and the owner was stressed. It was as though the puppy licked up cleaner solution. Poor thing. I really hope the guy brought it to the DMV.

My silly betta is determined to make a mess in his tank. Next time I clean him, he gets NONE of his old water. Oh... he was showing off for M-SB while M-SB was setting up the game on my computer. I am going to get him some wormy-things for dinner. Have to thaw them from the freezer.

Oh the scary things I have in my freezer! Frozen mice, rats, and bloodworms. If you are ever over... and squeemish... don't open my freezer.

Ok... off to the clinic and then to feed betta and then bake while I read.

Currently reading:
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Stuff today so far 

I corrected Aire'a homework. She is almost done. One last thing to rework and get to me. Then she can graduate, too!

I washed dishes (and in some cases rewashed dishes *grumble*).

My snakes are happy as they are fed.

My fishy is traumatized, but the bowl looks a bit better. Need a better system for him... and better food.

I cannot clean snake tanks and stuff for a day or so as I smell like thier food. But I think I will tackle cleaning out the old mouse tank to make room for Timid in there.

Strange New Habits 

Bagheera has gotten into a strange new habit. He lays partway over my little stereo. Especially when it is on, he lays the front half of himself on it (he is too big to curl up entirely on it). He even can turn it on by himself by hugging it a bit (causing him to press the play button). WIERD!

Ticking Away 

The time I work at the vet is just ticking away. This was the second to last offical day of in the clinic as reception for me. I have kennel duty tonight and tomorrow. Then next Saturday is the last clinic day followed by kennel duties again.... Then... MUWAHAHAHAHA... no more!! My weekends are mine to fill up!

And fill them up I will.

Saturdays will be teaching and coven days. Sundays are reserved for meetings and homework. This coming years will be brutal. I take some leaps of faith and trust in my teachers this year. I will be hands off completely with one level one class and practically hands off for the level 2 class. I co-teach a level 1 class to train a new teacher and co-teach a level 3 class. My other teaching days include the other level 3 class and some specialty classes.

Oh! Hvae lots to do on this "afternoon off" time.
- feed little snakes
- clean animals (tanks, bowls, cages, etc.)
- make a Tarot III poster for the store
- make the grad certificates
- pack for the grad ritual (basic altar stuff, blindfolds, flashlight, feast gear)
- make something for feast for the ritual
- return a movie
- relax a bit... hmmm... isn't that a novelty!

another quiz stolen from Airea... but I am less sure of its accuracy 

Sadness
People see sadness in your eyes. You seem to be
hurt deeply. You may be unhappy because you are
alone or feel like no one cares about you. Or
it may be because something very awful has
happened to you. Whatever the cause, you go
through each day just waiting for night to come
with sweet relief in the form of your dreams.
But you may have even lost hope in your dreams.
Chin up. Things should get better for you and
there is always at least one person who cares
about you. Have hope.


What can people see in your eyes?(great ANIME pics)((IMPROVED!!!))
brought to you by Quizilla

quiz 1 stolen from Airea 

natural
NATURAL BEAUTY - You are patient, warm, and kind.
Like nature all around you you are methodical
and wise. Laidback and calm you are not quick
to anger but like nature when your wrath is
invoke you are terrible to behold. You can be
passionate and you can be compassionate.
Primarily you live to see others happy, but you
also seek your own true happiness and
unconditional love.


What type of beauty do you possess? (20 questions + 7 results + pretty pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Friday, August 19, 2005

AACCKK!!! 

My appointment for registration got cancelled!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!! Need to reschedule. NOOOOooooOOOoo.... argh. *deep breath*

Off to Mezzurka's for dinner with Rick. No stress allowed.

Crazy 2 weeks 

August Schedule:

16th - work 10-6 at the store
17th - work 10-6 at the store
18th - work 10-3 at the store, 3pm meet with Jars of Stars, 5pm sort the CMS locked cabinet
19th - work 10-3 at the store, deal with Post Office stuff, dinner with Rick and some relaxing (not a late night ... oh gods no...)
20th - work 9:30-1:30 at the vet, make CMS grad certificates, fix CMS site, work on new pages
21st - kennel duty in the AM, work 12-5 at the store, CMS grad rituals in he evening, Kennel duty in the PM
22nd - work 10-6 at the store, wish my sister happy birthday
23rd - work 10-5 at the store, run to Concordia and register with the academic advisor
24th - work 10-6 at the store
25th - work 10-3 at the store, madly try to get the preliminary set-up for the Open House till 9pm
26th - work 10-3 at the store, 3-6 set up for Open House, 7-9 oversee Open House
27th - work 9:30-1:30 at the vet (LAST in vet day)
28th - kennel duty in the AM, store staff meeting at 10am, BBQ at Dimitri's over dinner, kennel duty in the PM (LAST vet related thing i have to do!!! YAY!!!)
29th - work 1-6 at the store, staff goes out to a movie with free passes
30th - A DAY OFF!!! OH MY GODS!!!
31st - work 10-6 at the store
September 1st go get schoolbooks and start to prep for Concordia classes ...

CRAZY few weeks. NO BREATHING ROOM.

Evil Chocolate Allergy 

Yesterday when I met with Jars of Stars to drool over the loverly work they did on my student ID cards and whatnot, we sat at Starbucks and I had the yummiest Mint Mocha Frappaccino. Now I am SOOO paying for it. I am feeling very ucky.

5:30am 

Yup... that is the time. Stupid full moons. I went to bed after I ate tummy noodles and fake crab, sometime around 1am. And BLINK! 5-5:30am... I am awake. It is cool in my room. This is a blessing to all the muggy heat we have had this summer. Cloak (M-SB's cat) curls up to sleep with me all the time. Bagheera... sleeps in the livingroom. Salem, sleeps with M-SB. Yes... I am babbling. it is 5:30am and I am awake. I should be asleep! I am not awake enough to be productive. Otherwise... I would go fix all the link button images I messed up on the recent student pages I made. Or... I would make another new student page.

What do I want?
To look over to my bed and find another warm body in it keeping it warn and when I curl up in it, this warm body would curl up around me and snuggle in their half-sleep. Ahhh well... I'll go hug the cat.

Guess What!? 

1- stupid people did not annoy me!!!
2- the day was great
3- Jars of Stars have done CMS miraculous work (so pleased and doing much happy dancing)
4- sorted the CMS library cabinet (have yet to do the actual library)
5- got to rant with some really patient people (thank you!)
6- and M-SB was sweet... he made supper for me, which I am only now just getting to

Overall... a decent day for Thursday. Friday... Rick takes me to dinner. That is sweet too. Thank you guys for spoiling me, no matter how small the spoiling... after this summer from HELL (yes I do believ in Hell... I also believe we live in it)... these small things are so needed for my sanity. Thank you.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

ugh... day start... 

Ugh... tired... soooo tired. I got to bed around 4am. I was still stupidly stressed. I am now up... but far from awake.

My fishy is still cool and unnamed. He has made his bowl a filthy mess and gets excited about stirring up the crap on the bottom. I guess I will clean it tonight.

I now have an appointment with my academic advisor for registering for school. August 23rd. I am all excited and nervous at the same time. This is a big step forward. I have no idea what is expected of me.

And I got the cutest photos today of my nephew, Hunter, in his first tux (for a 3-yr-old) as he will be ringbearer for my sister-in-law's sister's wedding.

Lastly... I do not think I will be taking that drive through the US after all. Dammit. My car was so finicky last weekend. AND I need some downtime to relax and prep for Grad school. I might try a short roadtrip... dunno where though.

Movie 

Just watched King Arthur... the newest version to come out. And hey... it was decent. Quite a different take. And refreshingly different.

http://kingarthur.movies.go.com/main.html

Yup... decent indeed.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Speaking of Agreements 

I am reading a new book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Not the 4 we discussed over the weekend... but still an interesting book. It is from Toltec wisdom. The summaries under each Agreement below come from http://www.mcuniverse.com/The_Four_Agreements.1208.0.html and the book so far is really good. Hmmm... hmmmmm... my coveners will claim i am evil incarnate!!! You you coveners... read this book and we will discuss it!

1- BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2- DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3- DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4- ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret.

I Agree 

Stupid people will irritate me tomorrow
Stupid people will not irritate me tomorrow
Stupid people will irritate me tomorrow
Stupid people will not irritate me tomorrow
Stupid people will irritate me tomorrow
Stupid people will not irritate me tomorrow !

I PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY & SPIRITUALLY AGREE!
I AGREE!!

And with that came a yummy sticky bun and tangerine juice.
Now to go watch a movie and relax.

Stupid 

Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid

STUPID!!!

Some people are STUPID! And make a decent day BAD! STUPID!!!

*need to vent*

People are petty and stupid... and dump on those who don't deserve it... and manipulate... and say things that really are not necessary making so many uncomfortable and in awkward positions. NOT MY DRAMA! If you fucked up, DEAL with it!!! Accept your own damned consequences. Oh!!! And don't read yourself into people's comments... they are nOT really talking about you. and don't say things on an assumption that people are thinking antagonistically. They likely are not and will be offended that you thought they might!

NOT MY BUSINESS!!! NOT MY DRAMA!!!

The day started out ok... tired but ok. Then got odd. Then got stressful. Then get REAL stressful. Then got dumped on a bit and placed in an awkward posotion. Then again. Then AGAIN! Then comments out of absolutely nowhere that make me say "what the fuck?!" Why be defensive when there is no one attacking you?

I will not rise to the occasion to fight. I will NOT.

I think I will go make some earl grey tea. Need to find a yummy sugary dessert too. ANd I might as well go drop off the movie JUST I rented as I realised I had already seen it. What a WASTE.

*vent over*

Ugh... Tired... 

I feel like I did not sleep. I know I did. I just don't feel like I did. Well, I did finish a student page this morning while chatting with Airea. I have work at the store again. I will walk to the Bureau En Gros and get blank CD's on my lunch break today. It is time to do some backups. the server of a friend got hacked and it wiped her blog for a bit. She recovered it all. But it reminded me that I am due to make backups. I also want to give all the CMS teachers CMS teachers backup CD's.

Today's Plan:
- work @ store
- get blanks CD's
- feed little snakes
- clean litterbox
- update teachers page
- finish student pages (2 left)

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

A Find! 

While I was sitting at Shaika waiting for Hobbes and the DLI rep, I sifted through ads and pamphlets and art on the walls... waiting, ya know. And then something caught my eye. There was a bunch of writing on the back of a pamphlet. At first I though it was supposed to be there then realized that the other pamphlets didn't have it. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that is was handwriting. And WOW! Looks like a song or something. So here it is. If you are the official owner of these words... WOW!

Sweet sad sister angel singing of the suffering of life or love gone away... walk on sweet soul and dream of the life of better days to come cause the nightmares are inevitable... like so mant storms. But I like running through the rain and slowly walking away all that the rain doesn't wash away... cause my mind's streets can only be cleansed by my heart's flood... the pain is there just as is the happiness. So let it flow down the river and out past the horizon line and picked out of the water by some other pained soul looking to cling to pain... like finding a sack of crack to only suck up giprock... hold me close and forever more and more in case nothing lasts forever. So in the freedom of the now hold me close and don't let me go till time releases our arms into the deepest times...

Isn't that... wow...?

Today's Accomplishments 

1- Opened the store just fine (forgot the garbage, but it all worked out).
2- Managed to finally get that paper mailed out to Financial Aid.
3- Scheduled time to meet with Jars of Stars for professional CMS business cards and ID cards
3- Met with Hobbes and DLI rep

What I still need to do...
- feed snakes
- work more on CMS stuff
- relax & digest weekend (mechanics and logistics have not changed a whole lot... but the energy sure has)

Documentary 

Today after work, I met with Hobbes at a little cafe called Shaika. I have never been to it before. It was great! I bit pricey, but great, with fantastic atmosphere!! We were there to meet a rep from DLI Productions who wish to do a documentary on Spirituality in the 21st Century. She was a gret rep. I looked through the website and was impressed that they had done Songs for Tibet, which I really liked (and hey! it won an award too!). We need to do some brainstorming on this. They would like to film a ritual and interview some folks. If you would like to be part of this, let me or Hobbes know.

It is really interesting to see more academic stuff on Neo-Paganism coming out both in film and print. *smile*

Poignant (sp?) ? 

HAHAHA! eeeek....

I opened my tarot book and this is what it had to tell me.

Three of Pentacles
Description:
Competent and proud of his skills, a craftsman refines the star on his masterpeice. He is happy to have found his niche and, although he gets tired, he appreciates the steady flow of work, the recognition, and the increased income.

Interpretation:
You have made the most of your talents, and look forward to more money and an increased standard of living. You pass some kind of test that improves your status. No longer a fledgeling - you are flying high with newfound independance. Dealings with the public are successful and your health is improving.


So... hmmm... *shrug*

Monday, August 15, 2005

Horoscope and divination tidbits I came across today 

Big changes are due for you -- and they're nearly all for the better. The current climate of transformation will certainly be exciting, and you might find yourself traveling on a new path soon.

*OH YA! DON'T I KNOW IT!!*

Death Card:
Don't waste time. Be a little scared. Be careful and don't squander your prescious days nor go numb to the daily miracles of life. Don't put off saying "I love you". If you had only one day left, how would you spend it? You must close one door to open another. A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. Mourn what you are glad is over. Change is once again on its way.

*UGH!!!*

i lied... 

I said i would not work today... i lied.
I worked on CMS. I made another student page. Ahhhh.... Progress.

*smile* 

My fishy is so pretty. I just look up from my monitor and there he is showing off for me. Brings an instant sense of tranquility and serenity into my soul just looking at him. Yup, getting him was a good idea!

5 senses... stolen & modified meme 

Name 5 things you like to look at most:
- my new betta
- the words and pages of a good book
- waves in the river (as I wonder what the ocean looks like)
- fireflies (as in the little bugs)
- the moon

Name 5 things you like to listen to:
- drumming around a campfire
- my friends playing music
- the angelic voice of a young girl in ritual
- thunder
- purring

Name 5 things you like the smell of:
- dutch apple pie
- interesting oil blends that I concoct
- fresh cut grass
*now I am stretching... what else?*
- fresh flowers
- fresh stawberries & cream
- old books
*oops...6 things*

Name 5 things you like the taste of:
- apple pie & chocolate icecream
- pasta
- chinese food (nothing with fish)
- avacado sushi from Cafe Yi
- home-made banana milkshake
- earl grey tea
*oops... that was 6 again*

Name 5 things you like the feel of:
- my part silk fitted bedsheet (comes camping with me!)
- the feel of a purring cat
- cool water on a hot day
- holding my snake
- my polar fleece hooded cloak
- certain gentle caresses and kisses & the perfect way of curling up with someone to sleep

New Friend 




Looky looky looky!!!












I bought me a gift. Well, a couple. I usually save $200 for buy myself something really awesome for my birthday. This year, that $$$ and some begged from parents and some borrowed... all went into the car for repairs. Damn. So in consolation, I bought me 2 things this weekend. I bought me a lovely ring with a small rainbow moonstone flanked by 2 small pentacles. AND... I bought me a new friend.








Who is my new friend? A Betta!! I miss my old betta collection. And this guy was just so stunning. He is a peaceful turquoise colour with hints of other colours depending on how the light damnces on his scales and how he spreads his fins. I have not named him yet. I wanted to name him either Tranquility or Serenity in Chinese. Can someone tell me the words for those in phonetic... so i can pronounce them? He sits on top of my computer tower. I almost came home with 3!!! There was a larger one of indigo with HUGE fanning fins and a young male of red looking all delicate and lanky. Sooooo... tempting... SOOOOO tempting!!! and only $5 each..... hmmm.... I will think about it. I like this one best.


Stolen from Airea 

What's your favorite....

Beverage (non-alc) ? Vanilla Coke or Apple Juice
Color ? blue
Food ? avacado sushi
Item of clothing ? black Y-back tanktop
Meal of the day ? midnight meal
Feature on yourself ? my hair
Quality in a guy/girl ? Honesty, Love
Phrase ? Ya...
Song ? Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Musical Artist/Band ? I don't have a favorite... there are MANY I adore equally
Sport ? don't have any
Movie ? Star Wars (yes... ALL episodes)
TV Show ? Dark Angel
Radio Station ? The Mix
Type of Chocolate ? mint
Eye Color ? Doesn't matter to me... but expressive and honest is best

Do you/Have you ever....

Have any pets ? 3 cats, 3 snakes, a gecko, and some fish
Have any piercings ? 2 in one ear, 1 in the other... thinking about a couple other peircings in other places (evil grin... not sharing where! ;P )
Have any tatoos ? 2, triple-moon with pentacle on back of his central and low on spine, and a triskele on back of neck. I am hoping over the next couple months to get Kanji for Honour and Patience on my left inside wrist and for Love and Trust on right inside wrist
d/girlfriend? Do i? no
Skinny dipping ? I
Been to Europe ? not yet
Been to an island ? um... I LIVE on one... Montreal
Had stitches ? never
Broken any bones ? yup... lots of the little ones
Been stabbed/shot ? yup... stabbed myself with a knife by accident, was shot at on a Cadet range by a stupid kid who opened fire too soon. No serious damage.
Slept until after 12:00 ? Yup... especially when I only get to bed at like 6am
Stayed up all night ? Oh yeah
Hooked up with 2 people in one weekend ? Um... if this is sexual... then no... i prefer one-on-one exclusivity thanks
Turned down a dare ? yup... when it was stupidly dangerous (I dare you to touch that dead human body floating there... um.. NO!)
Would you ever....Eat pizza with chocolate chips ? EW!!! no
Kiss someone of the same sex ? Sure
Cheat on someone you love ? Never
Run away from home ? Yeah, i moved out. ;)
Lie to your parents ? Occasionally... trust me... my mom prefers the lie to the reality
Lie to your boyfriend/girlfriend ? no
Lie to your best friend ? no
Give a homeless person money ? yup
Run from the police ? no... and... that would be collossally stupid
Bungee jump ? no... not ever... so don't invite me!
Sky dive ? same as bungee jumping!
Cross dress ? girls dressing boyish is nothing new and no one ever notices it nor calls it "crossdressing"...
Be an exotic dancer ? *no comment*
Walk out of a restaurant without paying ? no
Scuba dive ? hmmm... might mike to try
Go rock climbing ? ya! oh wait! no ... no no no... the controlled environment walls ok...
Go spulunking (caving) ? Ooooo.... interesting....

What do you think of when you hear....

Eminem ? not my kind of music
Bologna ? bleh, no thanks
Hott ? the weather of late... ugh
Orange ? juice
Real world ? dreams
Jack ? Hobbes' Tales
Cucumber ? icky
Hip-Hop ? beat
Uniform ? military
UniCORN? childhood
Rainbow ? physics: optics
Clown ? *run away*

Home 

Wow... I be sore. The driving was LONG. And I am doing it again in 3 weeks. I am now recovering and digesting all that has gone on over the weekend and planning what I have yet to do over the next few weeks...

Countdown:
4 days till CMS homework muct be in for graduation
6 days till CMS graduation
10 days till CMS Open House
15 days till I drive back to the US to see friends
20 days till I technically start school

Today I am recovering from the trip. I am NOT working. I will rest and put things away. Eat and have a REAL shower. Tody the house and feed the critters, run some errands... but no working! Ahhhhh..... this will be nice.

FireFly Quiz! 

You scored as Inara, the "Companion".

Inara, the "Companion"

88%

Simon, the Doctor

81%

First Mate Zoe

69%

Captain Malcolm Reynolds

63%

Kaylee, the Mechanic

63%

Jayne Cobb, resident bad-ass

63%

RiVER

44%

Shepherd Book

38%

Wash, the Pilot

19%

FiREFLY QUIZ
created with QuizFarm.com

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Oh Gods!!! 

I have been wired from the day and have not slept. Dammit. AND I have been inundated by a freshly hatched batch of baby spiders in my room dropping on me. GRRR!!! I have tried to take them out, now I am just killing them.I can't dleep knowing something spider-like WILL crawl on me.

So i passed the night killing baby spiders while I rp-ed with Roo.

The heat and humidity sure has not helped any. Now I am muggy, ucky and tired. And have to drive 12 hours. I should have napped. Or at least tried to. Oh well. I guess when we get to the Campground and the guys get the tent up... i will crash. I think I will crash before the tent is up.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Should be sleeping 

But I am not. I am awake. Very awake. Cuddled the cats for a bit... but it did not help me to be tired. I was hungry. Forgot to eat dinner. I went over to the dep and bought a Jamaican patty... mmmmmmm.... A full tummy help with sleep. I have t wake at 3am tomorrow. I bought a couple of energy drinks for the drive. M-SB is navigator as usual. I missed picking up something i was craving from the gracery store... a danish ring, cheese or blueberry. Too late now. At least i am all packed save fore some last minute toiletries. The toe is looking real good, by the way. And it hardly hurts. I decided to bring some fun things camping this time. I am bringing my body markers, henna, and a Celtic Knotwork book. Maybe I will make a few bucks, if not at least have a blast designing folks! Ooooo... still need to have a Henna Party. Close to Samhain I think... ya.

Ya I am babbling. There is no one online to talk to. And shamefully, I packed my book I was reading.
:(

Dragging... not smooth 

I slepped. Ahhhhh... 5-6 solid-ish hours. this morning I was working hard on CMS stuffs and getting documents updated for the coming session. Then packing laundry to do at my mom's and washing some things by hand. Now I am at my mom's doing the laundry that is not going nearly as quickly as i wanted. I did get a good meal though. I worked more on CMS documents. They are coming along. I have errands still to run on my way home. need to get USD$ and food for the trip. Then when i get home i have to pack, prints stuff, plot the route, and prepare things to Airea to kitty-sit. I have a few final meetings to set my mind at ease and hopefully a little roleplaying again before i grab a last shower and some sleep.

We get up at 3AM to final prep to leave, pick folks up and drop stuff off at 4:30am, and mneet with the other car for caravaning by 5am. Then we will be on our way into the US wastes! It is a long drive of about 12hrs with quite a busy sorta work weekend. But it is annual and important to my spirituality. I wouldn't miss it for anything, if I can help it!

I will be back to see everyone Monday.
Have a great weekend everyone!!!

RPing... ahhhhh.... 

I got to RP with Roo this evening. Now that was a relief to my spirit who badly missed roleplaying. It was awesome! Such oddities, such mystery. Who are these two people? A Tale of 2 Souls crossed paths and now make an unlikely pair as they try to find their way in a newish city in the dark times of the world 30 years from now... The veil is thin. And all manner of creature walk the earth.

I will sleep well tonight.
Thank you Roo!

I disappear for several days then she is gone to GenCon for 2 weeks. We will have to consult our archives to figure out where we left off.

Safe journeys!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

On the Radio on the way home from work 

Natalie Imbruglia - Torn Lyrics

I thought I saw a man brought to life
he was warm he came around like he was dignified
he showed me what t was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
you don't seem to know - or seem to care what your heart s for
I don't know him anymore
there's nothing where he used to lie
my conversation has run dry
that's what's goin' on
nothing's fine
I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
lying naked on the floor
illusion never changed
into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
you're a little late
I'm already torn

so I guess the fortune teller's right
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
but you `crawled beneath my veins and now I don't care, I have
no luck
I don't miss it all that much
there's just so many things
that I can't touch
I'm torn
there's nothing where he used to lie
my inspiration has run dry
that's what's goin' on
nothing's right I'm torn...
[chorus]

Evil Questions Meme... 

~ The Rules ~
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview Me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions. ((No promises!))
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others asking to be interviewed comment, you will ask them 5 questions.

AIREA's Questions:
1. Whats your favorite breed of cat?
Domestic or ANY cat? Domestic is the Siamese (flame point) Of all cats... the cougar of course!

2. Whats your favorite stone that you feel most drawn too?
Moonstone (love and bonding, intuition, and emotion, and spirituality)

3. What (besides CMS school) would be your dream job?
Teaching Religion at any school (college or university) Hmmm... or Language arts at elementary.

4. If you had to be anything but a red head what color hair would you have?
Oh... that is hard. REAL hard. I love being a red-head. My hair is the only thing about my looks I actaully like. Um... Um... honestly... I dunno!

5. Favourite song or cd right now?
TORN by Nathalie Imbruglia
BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS by Greenday
BREATHE by Faith Hill

Still functioning... and haven't killed anyone 

Work went well. I like this new girl lots. She is really together.

My toe hurts a bit, but is not doing to badly. I wen today with no bandage to keep it airing. So far so good. I paid the PO Box and got crickets. We closed the store early because it was suffocatingly hot. I got a call from Hobbes today at work warning me not to lose my temper on his e-list. I said I will not rise to the jibes. Well, I kinda failed that once I got home and read through everything. I tried to speak my mind without being too nasty in return. I tried to be "understanding and diplomatic" but in a way to SLAP someone back. I skirted the border of his rules and he shared some words with me over it. I will try harder to not lose my temper again over this. But DAMN some people piss me off beyond comprehension!

I fixed my Gryffindor blinkie. It blinks now! Yay me!

Had McD's for supper, thanks M-SB. Now I am trying to decide what to do with the evening. I am tired... deeply tired. I think we will have Jess care for our cats. I will have to leave careful instructions. Cloak can be bad when we are away. I am too tired to do real manual stuffs like packing or preparing laundry. So i think I will work on another CMS student page. I was considering heading to Roo's for a bit... but I am too tired. If I get non-functionally tired working on the CMS page, I can just crawl into bed.

Up... groggy... :( 

Well feeding little snakes is not going to happen till tonight or tomorrow. Too tired. Too nauseous. Damn. I better not be like this for the drive.

Oh... Timid actually ATE the frozen rewarmed rat!! YAY!!!

The humidity is nasty today. News on the toe: it looks like it is healing nicely (when I am NOT standing or walking on it).

Geez... it has taken me more than an hour to just write this! Ugh...

I shouldn't have bothered 

yes... I am still awake. My mind is having a bad spiraling night. I wish it was September already. At the same time... i wish it was early June. I missed doing something then that I wish I had done and now regret not doing.

Like Japan... dammit. Why do I always hesitate? Why am I afraid? Every time I hesitate... I lose that chance forever. Maybe because I am so afraid to leave behind that which is so safe and secure.

Well. I am awake. And feeling very miserable... as well as tired.
I should not have bothered trying to go to sleep.

Well, what is on the to do list today?
- feed the little snakes
- more CMS work
- work at store
- pay PO Box
- pick up food for camping
- get crickets
- feed gecko
- arrange cat sitting
- return movie
- pack laundry
- eat and sleep

ya ya... i know... GO TO BED! 

Ok... I am still here. I was poking around and found a few other LJ's and Blogs of friends.

Yuo know, sometimes I think I am talking to myself here since I hardly have anyone else to chatter with these days. But then I see the counter... and go DAMN! since when did my life and nattering become so interesting?

This is truly my journal. To Do lists an all.

ok ok ok... i am going to bed now. REALLY!

Still Up 

Timid "killed" the frozen rewarmed rat. He is not very very slowly nivigating it to figure out how to eat it as it is much much bigger than a mouse.

I read for a while. But now want some sleep. If only my mind could turn itself off. It plays at scenarios and angles.. trying to work out a problem/situation that is out of my control at the moment.

Oh well. Off to bed to ry again to sleep.

ahhh... Progress 

On the CMS secret pages... I have made 2 new pages. It is now late-ish. Guess I should go to bed. The weed smell has eased. I am left with a headache that I cannot tell if it is from the weed smell or the humidity. Probably both. What to read in bed now... hm? *heads out to the hall to look through the shelves for something interesting and unread* AHA! I found one!! Wolfskin by Juliet Marillier. Off for some koolaid and reading.

Talk to you all ere the sun rises (hopefully a few hours after that exact moment).

The evening... morning, now? 

Look at that. It is AM again. Darn. The evening progressed well, though not exactly productive. I chatted with some folks, watched the movie Alexander the Great which was LONG but good... if you are a history and classics lover. M-SB was not so impressed... though... this is not exactly his kind of movie I guess.

I corrected a level 2 student's work and am pleased. I must make a list soon of what I would love to have at the open house. Hmmm... I think I will ask for some electronic forms of the written works from some students. And I can take some photos of the projects while I have them here... with my digital camera.

I had sushi for late dinner. Mmmmm... and got extra sushis! They love me! I will have to find some way of showing my gratitude for being spoiled everytime I go there.

The cut on my toe opened and bled on the walk to the depanneur and Cafe Yi for the sushi. *sigh* It is doing ok now.

Dammit. There is someone smoking marijuana or some sort of weed and it is seeping into my home. GODS how I cannot stand the vile stuff. It bothers my athsma making it hard to breathe. And I can do NOTHING about it. Grrrr. When I was janitor of a 16 unit building, I evicted nearly half the tenants for shit like that. Oh they can afford their drug, eh, but not the rent! OHO! No way. It is one thing among several I cannot tolerate. Drugs. Of any kind. Never in my home. Meds... legal... but not shit like that. Sorry for my bias to anyone I might know... but it is my bias and I will not give it up. Man... I wish I knew who in my building was smoking up enough for it to filter into my home... so I can go make their evening as HORRIBLE as possible right now.

On to better things, as this smell and the humidity that will hold it in my home all fricken night is going to keep me up for a while.

I still have not found a cat sitter. I forgot to ask Roo. I will ask her tomorrow.

Tonight, while I am up, I will try to feed my ball python, Timid, the frozen rat I have. I know he is hungry. I hope he will eat it. Then tomorrow morning I will feed the "little" snakes, Dias et Nox.

I guess I will go work on ... hmmm... what? Um... I can update the upcoming handouts, clean up and archive the CMS files, or create a new student page. Hmmm... Feed a skae first. Then work.

Monday, August 08, 2005

owie 

Ya... the toe hurts.
I got to work with the other new girl toaday at work. I am not as spectacularly impressed with her as I was with the other girl... but she is new and less confident. Maybe she just needs to grow into the position. Standing and whatnot on the toe... has made it definately hurt. The wound opened and bled a bit. It does not look as good as it did this morning. I am leeting it air out a bit now. It is not swollen or pussy. Thankfully. But it did get ised alot today when I should not have used it at all. And it got bumped a few times as toes do at work. Owie.

I got my banking done in time, so nothing bounced. PHEW! Tomorrow I will go pay the PO Box and get US funds. I will also get crickets (which I forgot to get today). And I need to pick up some things to be food for me for the weekend camping. Need to move a few dollars over to the CMS Account to deal with the negative that is there. Have to give my Mom $100 for the car and she is getting me gas (a full tank) for my birthday. CRAP! I forgot! I have to photocopy the Civil Union papers and mail them registered to the Financial Aid department. That is on tomorrow's list.

Tonight, i got a movie. Alexander the Great. I will correct student homework while I watch. I am soooo tired. I guess I will get real sleep again tonight. I hope. This humidity is making things, like breathing, difficult.

Crash 

Well... when the last of the adrenalyn wore off... boy did I crash. I slept almost solid from 1:15 till 10:00 this morning. Every muscle is stiff something horrible with my hip aching and my back aching, and the good sore of rarely used drumming muscles in my right arm and shoulder. I slept. I don't exactly FEEL like I slept... but I do not recall waking in the night nor staring at my ceiling. I am still feeling very tired.

News on the toe:
It doesn't look so bad now. The cut is more like 2/3 of an inch across and about 1/8 of an inch deep or so. I sealed it good and it clotted nicely. Almost no blood... but then... I was sleeping not walking on it. But um... now it hurts. to walk on. There was no redness or look of infection. But then, I had washed it with the clinic bactistat soap immediately to disinfect it.
OW

Now it hurts... for walking on. This is going to be annoying for work today.

Adrenalyn 

Wow. I was almost asleep. I finished reading Harry Potter and was sleepy. I decided to go get something to drink before snoozing "early". I walked down the very dark hall and stubbed my toe. I sucked in my breath to keep from cursing aloud. As I took two more steps in the dark, my foot squelched a bit near the toe I stubbed. *damn* I thought to myself. *I am bleeding* I got to the kitchen and turned on the light to see my toe very bloody and dripping with blood. Very noticeable drops of blood all down the hall. ANd thus began the adrenalyn rush. I am bleeding... and quite decently. I woke Mark while I sat in the bathroom trying to clean the tow and see the damage while I had the adrenalyn skipping through my veins. Third toe. 1/4 inch deep through the top about an inch in length. *Wow. I really stubbed it good on the trunk. I better do something or I will lose the top of that toe.* I cleaned it and asked Mark to clean up the blood down the hall and kitchen. I have a thing about blood, you see. I have no problem if there is blood sprayed all over in a mess like a car accident or a mauled animal. But my own blood... that is a whole different story. I pressed the piece of toe into place, put some polyspoirn and a bandage to hold it in place. It still hasn't hurt yet. Though I am beginning to get a dul throbbing sensation. This is how I have dealt with other VERY deep gashes I have acquired.

Adrenalyn is great.
Till it wear off.
Now the nausea of the situation sets in.
And I am very much awake again.

I will have to change the bandage again tomorrow morning before work. Damn. This is going to make working on my feet tomorrow very very bad.

How annoying!!! I was actually tired and ready to SLEEP! DAMMIT! damn damn damn. *sigh*
And I am out of books that interest me.

Tomorrow's plan:
- change bandage
- make something for lunch?
- banking
- pay PO box
- pay small bills (before anything bounces)
- get some US funds
- work at store (carefully)
- get crickets
- feed all reptiles
- change bandage
- correct student homework
- finish student links page
- update CMS docs
- change bandage
- find another book to read

Ok... blogging has helped calm my nerves. The throbbing is quite noticeable now with twinges of pain. I have endured worse. Deep cuts hurt less though because you sever the nerves. Guess that is why it does not hurt as much as I think it ought to.

This has definately been a spectacular summer. I am not going to ask if it could get any worse... because I full well know it can and likely will.

At least there won't be little blood-coloured kitty-paw prints painted up and down the hall floor from the blood I dripped.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Insomnia 

Thanks Draven for the advice. I have done most of it with poor results. What I need is a long slow backrub in a mildly air conditioned environment till I fall asleep. That won't be happening anytime soon... but it would work nicely.

I failed to nap this afternoon and read instead. Then off to the kennel to walk the dogs and clean the cats and feed them all. Too exhausted to go to the bank. I will do it on my way to work tomorrow. I picked up souvlaki at Souvlaki George's. He is running for office! Just as a municipal counselor. Neat! He has my support. I will feed the snakes tomorrow evening when I get back from work.

I have been talking with M-SB about our camping options. More like... our kitty options. We need a sitter we can trust. I will ask Roo tomorrow. I asked Airea but since her home and work are more than an hour away... she can only do like 2 days... we need someone for 4 days, ideally morning and night each day.We do not want to give out 2 sets of keys. One set we have as a spare... but if my personal set or Mark's set or both the spare and one of the personal sets got lost... we would be fucked. As there is no way to get a WORKING duplicate of our apartment door key... despite MANY MANY trials.

I am too tired to be productive. I am going to go lie down for a while. I might be back. Who knows.... I will go read the rest of Harry Potter.

Speaking of reading... I have been doing inordiante amounts of it as a way to distract myself from other stresses and to kill time when I cannot sleep and cannot stand staring at my ceiling.

Check the records:
January
Opening to Channel by Sanaya Roman & Duane Packer
Star Wars Galaxies: The Ruins of Dantooine by Voronica Whitney-Robinson

February
(didn’t get to start, nor finish any reading)

March
(didn’t get to start, nor finish any reading)

April
Gathering Blue by Lois Lowry

May
Han Solo at Star’s End by Brian Daley

June
Spiritual Mentoring by Judy Harrow
Shackle and Sword by Alanna Morland
Star Wars: Jedi Quest: The Trail of the Jedi by Jude Watson
Planet Blood I by Kim Tae-Hyung
Star Wars: Journal: Captive to Evil: Princess Leia by Jude Watson

July
Star Wars: Medsat I: Battle Surgeons by Michael Reaves & Steve Perry
Star Wars: Medsat II: Jedi Healer by Michael Reaves & Steve Perry
Star Wars: Boba Fett: Hunted by Elizabeth Hand
Star Wars: Jedi Quest: The Moment of Truth by Jude Watson
Cataract by Tara K. Harper
You Don’t Know Jack by John David Hickey (Hobbes) & Dylan Spevack-Willcock
Exile’s Valour by Mercedes Lackey

August
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J. K. Rowling

I wish I knew what books I need to read for my classes while I am in this insane reading frenzy.

Ritual Drumming 

Well... I had barely 4 hrs sleep. I felt like CRAP this morning. As the morning waned to noon, I felt better and packed my gear for the ritual. I brought my Bodhran too. That was a great idea. I drummed for the ritual. I was not feeling very social and kinda snapped unnecessarily at someone (if he reads my blog... I am sorry). I was not really in a chatty mood, especially about my personal life at the moment.

Dave and David played frisbee with me. That was fun. Haven't done that in ages. I got a bit of sun, too.

Now I am home and tired and do not want to tend to the kennel. But... I have to soonish as I neglected them this morning... and last night. It will be real messy when I do go in. I think I will grab a short nap first so I am not overly cranky with the animals.

I also have to feed snakes tonight and deposit money into bank accounts.

My evening plan:
- nap
- kennel
- banking
- feed snakes
- eat
- finish student links page
- update all handouts for CMS
- sleep (i hope)

Photo 



I uploaded some photos. Both were taken from my balcony. The second one is one I really liked and am currently using as my desktop.

still f-ing awake 

Yup... almost 6am... and still awake. All my muscles are sore. Well my back and hip muscles. My mind is mildly keeping me awake. This is a very insomniatic night. I have been too tired to be productive and too awake to sleep. Stared and my ceiling most of the night.

I just want to be held and have my back rubbed for hours... till i fall asleep.

But that isn't going to happen anytome soon.

Airea's Potluck 

wow... screwed this blog up. Let me try again.

Rosanne went to Iceland and brought back t-shirts fro everyone. I love mine. I darkish dusty blue. I wore it to Airea's potluck.

I blessedly napped before heading to Airea's. At her place, I made stirfry and we ate her baked pasta while watching Firefly. We are almost caught up to where Roo and i left off. This "party" was very intimate... as in small. Cat left as I arrived since her Bo called to say he was in town. So, there was me, Airea and WW. And later Airea's friend Steve. It was peaceful and wonderful there. Relaxing for body, mind and spirit. As I looked about Airea's house, I got some ideas. I loved how she displayed pictures are her and friends and her cats in frames all around the livingroom. It gave the place such a feeling of "home". I only have that feeling in my bedroom. I might do the photo thing. I have started to take more pictures lately.

I also had a strange urge... "girly" urge... to... of all things... piant my toenails! EEEK! LOL! I didn't follow through. I felt silly for just having the urge. Maybe I need to take "girl" lessons from Airea. *shrugs embarrassed-like*

Thought I would announce... CMS is proud to say there are 2 official graduates slotted in. One from Level 2 and one from the distance Level 1 programs. Everyone else has until August 19th... though having their work before then would be REALLY nice.

Tomorrow is a public Lammas ritual at Park Maisonneuve. I have not been there in ages. I promised to go and meet folks. I should probably bring some CMS pamphlets. People always approach me at these and usually I don't have anything on me.

Countdowns:
4 days till I go coven camping
14 days till CMS graduation
19 days till CMS Open House
24 days till I drive into the US wastes to visit friends before I kiss freedom goodby for 18 months
30 days till classes begin for me in the MA Religion program
31 days till CMS begins classes
54 days till Serenity is released to theatres

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Has the day begun? 

Ugh... i was alseep by 2:30am... i think... and up at 6am... then 8am... then 9am... *GROAN* I worked at the vet with a fuzzy head. I am soooooo tired. I just want to curl up and read and nap. At least the vet day is over till later. I have to walk the dogs tonight. And I just got stiffed of 4 hours pay at the vet. COMPLETELY! This interferes with the finances of camping next week. It sucks too that I don't get paid till I am already AT camping. *GRR* I need the pay for gas. Oh well. I am leaving anyways.

I am still feeling fuzzy headed. Food in my tummy is helping a bit. I still want to nap, but covers are coming over... in like 5 minutes.