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Thursday, July 21, 2011

Birthday Wishlist 

Because I don't want to misplace my wishlist... because when I get back from the camping festival I will get myself a birthday gift.

  • teahouse stuff (special editions)
  • kindle 3G, wifi, 6", with a leather case in blue (with light)
  • honda ruckus scooter (out of my budget... but I could dream)
  • more red lichee tea (I am almost out and certainly will be by the end of KG)
  • black-brown benno cd shelf from ikea

Saturday, July 16, 2011

New Kitten 

Some of you have heard of the new addition to our family. Nala. she is a little over 3 months old inching toward 4 months. She is so sweet and cuddly, learns fast and has been totally adopted by the husband. So much so that she curled up on him on the sofa and he just HAD to take a picture of her cuteness!!


Friday, July 15, 2011

Cats Purring 

The night was totally lousy for sleep. Don't know why, but I woke like every hour. In the morning after the hubby left and the cats came in, they cuddled and purred with me. I had a great morning sleep! There is some magic about purring cats inducing sleep, I am sure.

Though, my day now started very late and all my morning stuff is shot to hell.

I'll grab a shower, clean litter, start laundry, then I am off to physio. I'll buy nails on the way home and brushes for varnishing. Then I am off to Curves with sneakers (since i lost my good runners on the bus and am not prepared to look for new ones till the weekend).

Any of my daytime stuff will have to happen in the evening.
- Cutting and varnishing 1/4 rounds
- sanding the hallway doors
- nailing in the 1/4 rounds
- mopping the floors
- cleaning and feeding the various animals in my menagerie

Tomorrow we will varnish the hall doors & peel off the plastic glass protectors. The hall then only needs art! I will have to go through art and find something to put up. Then we tackle the kitchen through the weekend.

Oh... meditations... I will do one when I get home today. Cuddling with purring cats through the whole morning counts as meditating, doesn't it?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Meditation #4 

Let me first start by saying i was thinking about my anniversary. We were legally wed in 2003 (October 3rd), but our actual ceremony was July 10th, 2008. July 10th is the day we started going out, 1999. So, when I look up anniversary gifts, what year do I look at? 12? 8? or 3? 12 is linen or silk, 8 is bronze or pottery, and 3 is leather. Maybe for the fun I will just do all three!! Except... bronze is hard to find. Pottery it is. I need to make a trip out on Friday or Saturday (late anniversary gift shopping) just because it will make me happy to do.

Happiness is the way after all!

I started my day lazy and late. Breakfast is two smoothies (because i made enough for two glasses). Here is the recipe: strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, watermelon, cantaloupe, honey-dew melon, low fat cherry frozen yogurt.

I did some fanfic writing and hope to finish the chapter sometime tonight. I get a great deal of satisfaction and joy knowing people are reading and loving what I write. Even though it makes me zero money. One day, I will write an original story maybe. I have lots of ideas, just not really enough serious time to devote to it.

Today's meditation readings were harder to digest. the truths frustrating and the challenges... challenging.

Surround yourself with people who see your light, who see you as beautiful and perfect, see you at your best, even when you aren't. These are the people who lift your spirit and enjoy the truth of who you are, they affirm that with you.

The complication comes when the people you need to be like this, the key players in your life (close family, spouse, and friends) are detractors or are ambivalent.

I know I shine and want to do even more for the praise or the wow or the smile... when I get them. If I never get them, it is all the more difficult to keep making the effort. Why bother? Who cares? What is the point of trying to be amazing or trying to look beautiful if no one gives a shit?

Because YOU care. YOU give a shit. Do it for yourself. Do it despite what others say/do. Do it in spite of them. Surround yourself with positive people that help you shine. Help them shine too. And show gratitude.

Thank you Robyn!

It is up to you to choose to listen or not. Here is an affirmation I am currently so fond of that I will make it my mantra for a little while. (will even make it the Seed of Inspiration quote on this blog)

I pay attention to my inner calling
and apply my own uniqueness
to everything undertake.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Monday Happened? 

Alas... due to the new status as store owner... my Mondays got re-allocated to store work. this Monday turned out to be very busy for me. The day... and then later the evening were simply just.. gone before i knew it.

I hoped to have today off to do the things I meant to do yesterday. But i missed something important yesterday and had to do that instead.

I have a few minutes. catching up on the little things: making the bed, folding the laundry, putting away dishes, washing more dishes, find the summer clothing, pack away the winter clothing.

Then I have some personal stuff I intend to do: meditation and signing up at curves.

My evening is committed to my friend so we can squee over a variety of things (like the comic I finally got in the mail... yes, i read comic books still).

So... meditation posts to come soon. I am enjoying them. I hope you are too.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Relaxed Day: Anniversary 

We relaxed most of the day. I finished sorting my altar cabinet. It is very pretty and now very functional as well. I have a list of items that need replacing, stuff to get over the coming weeks. Worked on coven stuff in the later afternoon.

Then, the hubby treated us to dinner. We watched a movie we both adore (Sword of the Stranger). I baked cookies. We nailed down the linoleum. He helped JWW move his TV. Then we shared time together playing Plants vs Zomies. We have an odd life, but a good one.

This week, we will finish the hallway by cutting the 1/4 rounds, sanding the French doors, varnishing both, and nailing the 1/4 round into place. The final hallway touches would be extremely washable curtains and some art.

Next weekend... I tackle the kitchen.

Work work work this week, but I will pace myself more carefully. Last week I suffered.

Today... as I said... was a relaxed day... much needed.
Made for a wonderful and peaceful anniversary.

Meditation #3 

I am sitting in my back yard on my back porch. It is lovely with the sun, though i am in the shade. The temperatures are comfortable and the breeze is gentle.

Today is my wedding anniversary. I wonder what we will do today?

For the moment, I start with my peaceful time for me. I am reading a couple books: "Lit from Within" and Dr. Wayne dyer's Living Wisdom of the Tao".

I sip tea and meditate.

I have often told myself that i want to read these through, that I want to take time for me to meditate and be and discover through these books. But I never seemed to get around to it. Now, I am committing myself... for myself. If i cannot take care of myself, how can I hope to care for others? If I cannot appreciate myself, how can I appreciate others?

Today's meditation is about affirmations, words, and living actions.

Words have power. No living thing can blossom under a constant barrage of criticism (from others or from the self). I have come up with some affirmations for myself. Things I need to hear and believe, things that are true. Sometimes they need much repeating to sink in, though. These are simple affirmations to help shift my attitude.

- I am beautiful.
- I accept my body today.
- I have purpose.
- I love my life.
- I feel content... happy.
- Smile! Today is a good day!

Don't allow caveats to interfere with your affirmations. Don't allow your conversations to contradict them. Be gracious when others confirm them. Say, "thank you." Just that, sinple and appreciative.

Speak well of yourself and others, it builds integrity.

Shine... in thought... in word... and in deed.

Be impartial and yet love everything, give unconditionally, share without favor. Shine... and help others to shine too.

I am reminded of my Three-fold Promise.

Be True to my Word
Be True to my Path
Be true to Myself

One last thing...
To my hubby... HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!



Purge & Discover 

So... through purging the hallway stuff and the old altar cabinet, I found all kinds of forgotten stuff. Most of it I just chucked to the trash. However, i found the research for my Taoist Ordination paper. Now I can actually think about finishing that paper (even though the teacher is in China now). I also found some coven stuff that needs filing and CMS stuff that needs filing and updating. The found items are on the kitchen table for sorting, filing, using.

Tomorrow, I will empty the altar cabinet and plan exactly how it will be used now that it is in its new location in the hallway. Also, will mount framed art above it.

Also tomorrow, I will finish the construction of the litterbox area by thoroughly scrubbing and disinfecting the area, nailing down the linoleum, cutting and varnishing the 1/4 rounds that will hold down the linoleum, and nailing the 1/4 rounds into place. Hmmm... need for cat litter too. the new kitten knows the adult litterbox now, so she is no longer going to be locked up in the office unless tonight's first free overnight goes badly.

It is midnight. I slept badly (if at all) the last couple nights. Then napped like 4-5 hours this afternoon. Guess I will be awake now for a bit... or not. I am still really tired. The whole week was exhausting. Yet, as more and more of the house gets purged and organized, I am feeling better and have a bit more energy and focus and motivation.

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Meditation #2 

From celebrating yourself to valuing yourself. You care about the things you value. Value... YOU. And so you will care about you. Care leads to love. Love yourself. Think well of yourself.

I am worth taking care of.
- body
- exercise
- rest
- inner peace and joy

It it alright to treat myself now and then.

The hard part is refraining from comparing myself to others or an earlier version of myself.

This weekend I am giving myself time for me. I am doing something fun. These small lessons above are a continuation of what I started yesterday, moving from attitude to thinking and doing. Will and Word. Think it, say it, do it. As Nike advertising says, JUST DO IT! So... I am.

There is no "way" to happiness. Happiness is the "way".

This is an attitude adjustment. So many seek some means or path to happiness. If you think about Happiness as the path, then you need only choose to be happy and see the joys in others and appreciate the good around you. Allow your ambitions to weaken some so that you may strengthen your bones. Just be and do... allow everything to settle into its own perfect place.

What does it mean to be empty yet inexhaustible? This is a lesson of the Tao. Emptiness. Nothingness. It is an uncluttering of the soul. It is a connecting to the infinite and feeling the sharp edges of you softened, the knotted parts loosen and untwist, the burning becomes soothed and the dust settles for you to realize that there is never really any dust within the soul. It was merely buried, hidden, yet ever present.

This is what meditation is for, to help sort the chaos over your soul till the inner chatter quiets.

Listen non-judgmentally. Encourage expression. This holds true for yourself as it does for comunicating with those you love. Listen to them. Listen to yourself.

Also, understand and accept that everything changes. Nothing is static. That includes our loving relationships, our lives, and our body and soul. We grow and change and evolve. We learn and become new over and over. This is worthy of value.

Value the world around you. Value those you love. Value yourself... and you will be valued.

This does not mean to be egotistical. It simply means you care and show that care. It means to appreciate... and love.

Friday, July 08, 2011

Meditation #1 

Bits of wisdom from reading and meditating for the self and my spirituality.

If the soul came first, then it is the soul that needs the first care. Paying some attention to it will give peace of mind and help everything else fall into place. The body will become a reflection of the soul. Sometimes, we need to give ourselves permission to just be who we are, celebrate what makes us special.

"If you celebrate your differentness, the world will too. It believes exactly what you tell it - through the words you choose to describe yourself, the actions you take to care for yourself, and the choices you make to express yourself."

So, if I want to show how I want to be seen... I have to take extra steps to do so without caveats and negative self-talk. From hair to clothes to the gym to general attitude... and so on. I have to accept me. I will never be a size 3 ever again. Hating how I feel in my skin will never help me love my self-image.

"The mystery itself is the doorway to understanding."

The web... The will & the word... The Divine...
The mystery of me...

"Act without effort, teach without words"

This is about exuding one's self, living the paradox and duality with unity. Just... BE!

Sometimes that means letting go. Let go of the things that drag you down, of the obligation that overwhelm, purge the collected clutter. It started with purging the two most important rooms in the house (bathroom and bedroom). The goal was to have a clean place (not just spic-n-span... but clean as in fresh, uncluttered, bright) to be physically clean. Also, to have a peaceful place to sleep.

What steps am I taking for me? I will trim my hair today. I will wear comfortable clothing that expresses me (and fit properly). I will get my membership to Curves. I meditate for a little bit in the morning to clear my head, relax, and plan the day. I will purge a little more of the house.

Today is about being... about moving at my pace.
It is about the root chakra for this week... about safety and security and a sense of healthy survival. It is about feeling and being grounded.

To be loved, we must love. Hug, caress, kiss. Skin must touch skin for a loving connection. Cuddle.

Questions to consider:
- Why do I hide myself?
- What keeps me from being more animated?
- What holds me back from loving and being loved?

Early Start to the Day 

For odd reasons, despite having woken or been woken every couple hours through the night, I am up and active. I'll probably crash in the afternoon for a nap though. we'll see.

The morning started with making a breakfast smoothie for the hubby and me (mixed berries, watermelon, and cherry frozen yogurt). Also poked into Google+ to see what it is like. WOW! Way better than Facebook (so hate facebook).

Now trying to plan my day which has plans that cannot be fixed in time. So frustrating. I might need to go into work... IF an order I placed arrives.

The to do list for the day:
meditation
call dentist for appointment
Justice of peace interview for handfasting I will be doing
check NC email
laundry
dishes
purge and clean both hall closets
deep clean the hallway & altar cabinet
nail down linoleum
Curves membership

I may even get some relaxation and meditation and chilling done too!

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

success... 

My days off are never really days off.

As I mentioned, dentist called (fail), will try another dentist tomorrow.
Physio called for new orthotics. Appointment Thursday.
City called. new recycle bins have been ordered.
Returned all the refundable bottles multiplying on the back porch.
-- that allowed me to buy some juice
Dropped off clothes in the Sally Ann box.
Hubby bought floor cleaner and softer food for me to eat (love him).
Hubby cleaned the ceiling fan in the bedroom (because I could not reach it).
Cleaned the betta fishbowl. I has a happy fish.

That is over half the things on my To Do list for the day, though all the small things.

Next to do are the bigger jobs in smaller increments.

On another note, I have gotten back into writing. I am working on my fanifcs again. I had forgotten how amazing this creative outlet is for my sanity. Everyone needs a creative outlet. Also, a physical outlet is good too. Friday I head out to Curves to see about a new membership.

futility? 

So... I called this morning for a dentist appointment. My dentist is closed till the end of July. I wonder if I can hold out till then or not?

I did manage to get an appointment for my orthotics this Thursday. Huzzah! That will cost me $100 just for the appointment. The orthotics themselves, if they need redoing, will be another $450 or so. I don't have that much cash inflow. Ya... I may own a store, but that doesn't mean I get to see all the money.

I found out that there is a city number i can call if my recycle bins have been stolen. YAY! I have to call after 1:30pm. What a relief that I don't have to go all the way there to arrange for new ones.

Now for lunch. After lunch, I will tackle the errands out and then the cleaning in.

Monday, July 04, 2011

priority shuffling 

Dentist appointment just flew up the priority list for tomorrow's errands and phone calls.

I was coffee sick all morning but managed to get into work for 10am. I was useless till about noon. Then I managed to make a newsletter and get it started for sending. I feel accomplished. The store has such a lovely new readers corner (finishing touches to happen this week through the weekend) and a brand new blog thanks to Courtney! SO PRETTY! I am eager to see the rest of the website.

Adding to tomorrow's stuff to do: clean the fish bowl, wipe the bedroom ceiling fan, and sleep in.

OH! I has a baby snake! Maybe I mentioned that already? Anyways, that baby snake finally ate its first meal. I am so relieved.

So... tomorrow after sleeping in the new priority list goes as follows:
  • call dentist for appointment
  • call physio for orthotics appointment
  • call city hall and see about new bins (expect to go there in person)
  • return refundable bottles
  • drop off Sally Ann clothing
  • buy floor cleaner
  • clean bedroom ceiling fan
  • clean fish bowl
  • bathe then feed skink
  • purge and clean both hall closets
  • deep clean the hallway & altar cabinet
  • nail down lenolium
  • cut 1/4 round and nail in place
  • wash dishes

Great and Not 

The Great:
Got lots done Saturday except the kitchen and the a/c. That article is now away! Sunday I played more Dragon Age and helped JWW move into our basement. He needed a driver for his rented van. That took all day, but was worth it. The a/c did get put in Sunday, too. The especially great was that we shared dinner with JWW and a friend that evening. I baked a cherry chip cake and let it cool while the friend made salad and JWW baked a shepard's pie. We ate on the back patio in the cool evening air.

The Not:
I had coffee last night that the hubby made to go with dessert. I have been sick all night and morning from it. I knew I should not have had it. Why do I do this to myself?

So I am home and not at work. I need to be at work. This will be a very slow morning while the ick works its way out of me. I suppose my morning could be at least partially productive. I will post a blog for July workshops and events at the store and plan in my head the web and newsletter stuff i need to do for the store to shorten some of my time when I do manage to get in.

It doesn't look like the Kitchen will get that deep cleaning till the weekend. Tomorrow is packed full of errands. City Hall for new recycle bins, returning (in multiple trips) the refundable bottles lurking about, dropping off clothes at the Sally Ann. Deep cleaning the hall and its closets can also get done Tuesday. Oh... And preparing 2010 taxes to be done, calling to make an appointment for new orthotics and ugh... a dentist appointment. Busy Tuesday.

Saturday, July 02, 2011

Canada Day Stepping Forward 

I love Canada Day. I love the celebrations and the honorings. We are an amazing country (despite the current government of fail). It is also usually the one day I am guaranteed time off.

Yesterday I lounged with Roo and enjoyed the day.

I even have new nice clothes from a Canada Day eve shopping. I didn't really have that $100 spare, but new clothes were needed and the feel good outing with the hubby was even more needed.

Today I have been doing things in small increments. I am wearing one of my new comfy fun shirts in my favorite blue color. i vowed to play games, do shool stuff and clean the house... and run errands if I have time.

The new kitten is doing well still and is still named Nala for the time being. I have so missed having girl cat energy in the house. I have a baby snake now too that also needs a name. S/He is grey and red/brown with white dots down the back. Very unique.

So what have I done today? Beyond sleep poorly for unknown reasons?

I meditated. I tidied the clean bedroom and made the bed. I made breakfast (brunch really) and ate it while playing some Dragon Age Awakenings. I finished the majority of the laundry and folded it. I don't want to do more till the laundry machines get changed. I sorted out the winter clothing from the bedroom and stuffed them in a bag for storage. I also bagged clothes for the Sally Ann. Now I am giving the bathroom the same deep cleaning I gave the bedroom last week.

Then the day's agenda includes: buying lizard/snake food and glass cleaner and dinner, editing that year old article they decided they want re-edited for print, trying to install the a/c, and deep cleaning the kitchen.

Friend moved into the basement. What a BLESSING! The interlopers left a mess, a bike, and stuff. the interlopers also "borrowed" our recycle bins to transport their stuff and never returned them. Now I have to make a trip out to city hall and request new ones. Argh!