Saturday, April 30, 2005
On Vacation
No one better have any crises... I am too far away to help as of 7AM. I promise to post daily anything exciting. And to touch base so everyone knows I am alive.
M-SB... make sure my car is ok please.
one week... AWAY!!! YAY!!!
Thank you Mike.
M-SB... make sure my car is ok please.
one week... AWAY!!! YAY!!!
Thank you Mike.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Today's Plan with growing excitement
I am up early. Hehe. And yes... VERY excited about vacation. So today... I will tackle the hall shelves... yes, I have neglected them. Today I won't.
- clean kitchen (dishes, stove, littlebox)
- sort hall shelves
- fold laundry
- lunch
- physio at 1:30pm
- get Roo from work
- go to the gym (if i am allowed after physio)
- back to my place for HENNA and movies
- start packing for my vacation (WOOHOO!!!)
- clean kitchen (dishes, stove, littlebox)
- sort hall shelves
- fold laundry
- lunch
- physio at 1:30pm
- get Roo from work
- go to the gym (if i am allowed after physio)
- back to my place for HENNA and movies
- start packing for my vacation (WOOHOO!!!)
Compliments in the Rain
strange....
Yesterday at work... in the downpour... I had to walk the many block over to Bureau en Gros from the store for jewelry tags. On the way back some young university guy, a tall blond New Yorker, passed me and asked is my hair was naturally that colour and then smiled and walked on when i said yes. He then returned to apologize if he made me uncomfortable but he just has to smile at natural red heads because they are always so beautiful. *smile* He then walked me back to work under his umbrella. That so made my day.
Yesterday at work... in the downpour... I had to walk the many block over to Bureau en Gros from the store for jewelry tags. On the way back some young university guy, a tall blond New Yorker, passed me and asked is my hair was naturally that colour and then smiled and walked on when i said yes. He then returned to apologize if he made me uncomfortable but he just has to smile at natural red heads because they are always so beautiful. *smile* He then walked me back to work under his umbrella. That so made my day.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Flying Time
Wow... where did these 3 days go?
Monday... I worked. And I worked out. Then went on a long long walk chatting to a friend. My phone ran out of battery on the walk our and i had to walk back in silence. At least I know now that wehn my plane lands in Tennessee on Sunday some will be there to get me. I was having small bouts of anxiety about it.
Tuesday... It happened? I was running around with photocopies, house cleaning, moving furnitures into the store classroom, working, running errands, working out at the gym with Roo, making yummy orange-ginger beef for supper. It was like 10pm when all was done... and I still hadn't cleaned the hall shelves nor sorted and started the laundry.
Well... today... i HAVE to get these 2 tasks done!!! I have to! I need clothes! So I am up early... and a bit sore from the gym. I am currently sorting laundry and washing 2 loads. The rest will have to get done tonight. I will do some more kitchen tidying and maybe get the hall shelves cleaned before i head out for work. I have a meeting with Faby at the gym today. I discovered that it is way more fun to do it with a friend... bt it is only 30min and quite survivable if you do it alone. I also discovered... that when alone at the gym... I push myself more... maybe too much. After the gym i rush back to scoff some food and pick up M-SB for a legal advisor meeting. OH! I have to get our taxex back today too! The tax guy is finished with them. I hope we are getting refunds! *crosses fingers* My education funding got transferred to M-SB since I could not claim that refund... $2500 sweet. I hope that means he will balance out to getting a nice return!
Weehee! Tomorrow is a HENNA day! That will be SOOOoooOOOoo fun!
Monday... I worked. And I worked out. Then went on a long long walk chatting to a friend. My phone ran out of battery on the walk our and i had to walk back in silence. At least I know now that wehn my plane lands in Tennessee on Sunday some will be there to get me. I was having small bouts of anxiety about it.
Tuesday... It happened? I was running around with photocopies, house cleaning, moving furnitures into the store classroom, working, running errands, working out at the gym with Roo, making yummy orange-ginger beef for supper. It was like 10pm when all was done... and I still hadn't cleaned the hall shelves nor sorted and started the laundry.
Well... today... i HAVE to get these 2 tasks done!!! I have to! I need clothes! So I am up early... and a bit sore from the gym. I am currently sorting laundry and washing 2 loads. The rest will have to get done tonight. I will do some more kitchen tidying and maybe get the hall shelves cleaned before i head out for work. I have a meeting with Faby at the gym today. I discovered that it is way more fun to do it with a friend... bt it is only 30min and quite survivable if you do it alone. I also discovered... that when alone at the gym... I push myself more... maybe too much. After the gym i rush back to scoff some food and pick up M-SB for a legal advisor meeting. OH! I have to get our taxex back today too! The tax guy is finished with them. I hope we are getting refunds! *crosses fingers* My education funding got transferred to M-SB since I could not claim that refund... $2500 sweet. I hope that means he will balance out to getting a nice return!
Weehee! Tomorrow is a HENNA day! That will be SOOOoooOOOoo fun!
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Bitten
Dammit. Dias, my perma-hungry red corn snake bit my thumb twice before she realized it was not food. OW!! Much punctured thumb now. But I am ok. Disinfected and drying out now. Dumb snake. Silly girl. Humans are not food.
many stresses settled
Well... not the financial ones... but many other ones. I was worried about some friends i had not really heard from nr seen in a while and now know all is very well with them. More news on that later when I have details to share.
The rituals went wonderfully!! Much laughter and fun among the seriousness. Sitting with tea and cookies after was great.... and much needed.
We got home and TADA!!! Cleared out the second hall closet! M-SB will be moving his work shirts and stuff into it so he can get rid of part of the monolith (a big black wardrobe thing in the blue bedroom). He found a futon he liked at Ikea that he will get on Thursday and a dresser he liked too, but that will have to wait a little bit. I wish I had the free funds to get it for him. My hands, finanically, are more than tied for the next few months... till like Spetember.
I am about to go tackle the hall shelves and feed the snakes (yes... culling the rodent heard). This week... I want to clean out my office. I have finally reached that part of the house! I will then be gone for a week and when I get back... we rearrange the house, arrange our divorce, and I tackle my thesis and apply for Masters in Religion at Concordia. The new classroom space at the store will be finished this week too! Woohoo! And end of May I will have the classroom in my home done as well!
Things feel like they are starting to go "click click click" into their rightful places and I am slowly getting back on track... well certainly more quickly than before.
In one week... hehe...I go on vacation. OH! I have an awesome outfit for whatever fancy occasion comes up. AND... Roo is doing henna on me Thursday evening. That will be so much fun! We will watch Dark Angel while we henna.
My heart is feeling like it wants to SING!
The rituals went wonderfully!! Much laughter and fun among the seriousness. Sitting with tea and cookies after was great.... and much needed.
We got home and TADA!!! Cleared out the second hall closet! M-SB will be moving his work shirts and stuff into it so he can get rid of part of the monolith (a big black wardrobe thing in the blue bedroom). He found a futon he liked at Ikea that he will get on Thursday and a dresser he liked too, but that will have to wait a little bit. I wish I had the free funds to get it for him. My hands, finanically, are more than tied for the next few months... till like Spetember.
I am about to go tackle the hall shelves and feed the snakes (yes... culling the rodent heard). This week... I want to clean out my office. I have finally reached that part of the house! I will then be gone for a week and when I get back... we rearrange the house, arrange our divorce, and I tackle my thesis and apply for Masters in Religion at Concordia. The new classroom space at the store will be finished this week too! Woohoo! And end of May I will have the classroom in my home done as well!
Things feel like they are starting to go "click click click" into their rightful places and I am slowly getting back on track... well certainly more quickly than before.
In one week... hehe...I go on vacation. OH! I have an awesome outfit for whatever fancy occasion comes up. AND... Roo is doing henna on me Thursday evening. That will be so much fun! We will watch Dark Angel while we henna.
My heart is feeling like it wants to SING!
Small Crises
Cloak, M-SB's cat, and Bagheera, my big black cat, had busted the tops screen of Timid's tank (Timid is my very shy ball python). That was a day or so ago and I had secured it wil books and stuff to block it. This evening I fed Timid. And YAY!!! he actually ATE... at least one of the three mice I put in his tank.
at like 1AM, Cloak came up to me with one of the other 2 mice in his mouth and was mewling his mew that translates to : "Mommy! Look what I caught! It escaped and I caught it!! Can I eat it Mommy? Please?" and he ran off to his food dish with it squeaking in his mouth. I walked calmly down the hall and plucked it from him. He looked all disappointed. The mouse was unharmed. I tossed it back into the mouse tank and wondered how the hell it got out. I went to Timid's tank to see. The blockage was still in place and nothing should have gotten out. Odd.
Then as I was looking to see if Timid ate the third mouse... (which he didn't... I noticed that Timid was missing from the tank! I stood about to panic when I saw him tightly hidden among the books in my library. This will not do. He muct have managed to climb up and push up the blockage. I did not think he could get up that high. Well... he can't go back in there! Shit! And the spare tank is downstairs in the locker.
So I woke up M-SB to hold Timid while I went to get the other tank with the secure lid. It is REAL small compared to what Timid is used to. In fact... it is smaller than ANY of my other tanks. But oh well. At least he can't escape to get lost, stuck or hurt. After cleaning the tank, I put him into it and set it in my office for now. He is SO not happy. Then I fished out the third mouse from Timid's tank and tossed it back among the other mice. Lucky mouse... both of them.
So had a few crises in the wee hours. It is now dealt with. Time for bed. Busy day tomorrow... yes another one.
-walk dog and vet clinic
-look for bed for M-SB (shopping in the morning)
-get ritual gifts (early afternoon)
-prep for rituals
-perform rituals
-supper
-walk dog at vet clinic and clean up clinic
-clean kitchen
-sort hall closet #2 (hopefully)
-feed 6 mice to the other 2 snakes (3 each)
-see if Timid will eat another mouse
-rethink tanks now that one is busted
Good night all! Or rather good morning... Ugh...
at like 1AM, Cloak came up to me with one of the other 2 mice in his mouth and was mewling his mew that translates to : "Mommy! Look what I caught! It escaped and I caught it!! Can I eat it Mommy? Please?" and he ran off to his food dish with it squeaking in his mouth. I walked calmly down the hall and plucked it from him. He looked all disappointed. The mouse was unharmed. I tossed it back into the mouse tank and wondered how the hell it got out. I went to Timid's tank to see. The blockage was still in place and nothing should have gotten out. Odd.
Then as I was looking to see if Timid ate the third mouse... (which he didn't... I noticed that Timid was missing from the tank! I stood about to panic when I saw him tightly hidden among the books in my library. This will not do. He muct have managed to climb up and push up the blockage. I did not think he could get up that high. Well... he can't go back in there! Shit! And the spare tank is downstairs in the locker.
So I woke up M-SB to hold Timid while I went to get the other tank with the secure lid. It is REAL small compared to what Timid is used to. In fact... it is smaller than ANY of my other tanks. But oh well. At least he can't escape to get lost, stuck or hurt. After cleaning the tank, I put him into it and set it in my office for now. He is SO not happy. Then I fished out the third mouse from Timid's tank and tossed it back among the other mice. Lucky mouse... both of them.
So had a few crises in the wee hours. It is now dealt with. Time for bed. Busy day tomorrow... yes another one.
-walk dog and vet clinic
-look for bed for M-SB (shopping in the morning)
-get ritual gifts (early afternoon)
-prep for rituals
-perform rituals
-supper
-walk dog at vet clinic and clean up clinic
-clean kitchen
-sort hall closet #2 (hopefully)
-feed 6 mice to the other 2 snakes (3 each)
-see if Timid will eat another mouse
-rethink tanks now that one is busted
Good night all! Or rather good morning... Ugh...
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Thank you Level 2's!
Yes... a thank you is very much in order. Airea took me shopping yesterday after I baked way too many cookies. She helped me find the impossible... in like less than an hour!! What is the impossible for me? Shoes. I hate buying shoes because I have one foot that is a size 7 and one that is a size 7 1/2 which makes finding shoes that fit frustrating. I needed noce strappy sandal-like shoes for a fancy dress and to be able to wear all the time for when I want to just dress nice.
Thank you thank you thank you!!!
We found the shoes at Le Chateau in the Eaton's Centre. When we returned, she was nice enough to share dinner with me. Once all the Level 2's arrived I had to model the dress and shoes. I was SOOOOOoooooOOooo embarrassed. This tomboy hardly EVER dresses up. I have lost weight wich helped me feel good... and get a few comments. Apparently what I wore made me look "grrowrr" "hot and sexy" "yummy"... and a string of other shyness-inducing comments. I don't think my students have seen me so timid and shy before. *blush*
Anyways... thank you all.
Thank you thank you thank you!!!
We found the shoes at Le Chateau in the Eaton's Centre. When we returned, she was nice enough to share dinner with me. Once all the Level 2's arrived I had to model the dress and shoes. I was SOOOOOoooooOOooo embarrassed. This tomboy hardly EVER dresses up. I have lost weight wich helped me feel good... and get a few comments. Apparently what I wore made me look "grrowrr" "hot and sexy" "yummy"... and a string of other shyness-inducing comments. I don't think my students have seen me so timid and shy before. *blush*
Anyways... thank you all.
Friday, April 22, 2005
quick morning rollercoaster
This morning I was all gung-ho for the day. I drove out to the tax guy and he was awesome. Nice house, pleasant atmosphere, wonderful energy. I left him with all my information except unclaimed education thingies that I have to wait till M-SB gets home to show me. He will then do the taxes and make full file photocopies and return everything to us. It will cost me like $70. Awesome! I did not have to sit and watch him do it. He said it should all be done around Monday for me to pick up.
On my way from there I realized it was WAY too early to meet Airea, So I deposited my paycheck and picked up a letter from the post office. The letter was a nasty thing about a forgotten parking ticket, which I promptly drove back across NDG to pay.
*sigh* I have less funds now to work with today, but that is life. I at least have my visa card if there is anything truly that I want to get.
As I drove home, the guy who owns the hair salon across from my house stopped me for my phone number. He is an old guy and has seen me around for the last 6 years here. He was stressing about me getting parking tickets and asked for my number so he can call me if he sees me about to get one. How nice of him! What a wierd day! *smile* And I was just considering booking an appointment to see him for a hair trim too. Hehe.
Dropped of the lease renewal letter. Gods... please let us be able to manage this.
The budget is tight. I hope things work out before I leave. Need $200 in the account before I go since I won't be around to deposit the 2 paychecks that arrive while I am away.
Strange morning. I think I will go make a banana milkshake for breakfast and bake cookies till lunch... oh... and vacuum the house as poor WinterWolf is coming over tomorrow and is SOOO allergic. M-SB can mop on Saturday.
On my way from there I realized it was WAY too early to meet Airea, So I deposited my paycheck and picked up a letter from the post office. The letter was a nasty thing about a forgotten parking ticket, which I promptly drove back across NDG to pay.
*sigh* I have less funds now to work with today, but that is life. I at least have my visa card if there is anything truly that I want to get.
As I drove home, the guy who owns the hair salon across from my house stopped me for my phone number. He is an old guy and has seen me around for the last 6 years here. He was stressing about me getting parking tickets and asked for my number so he can call me if he sees me about to get one. How nice of him! What a wierd day! *smile* And I was just considering booking an appointment to see him for a hair trim too. Hehe.
Dropped of the lease renewal letter. Gods... please let us be able to manage this.
The budget is tight. I hope things work out before I leave. Need $200 in the account before I go since I won't be around to deposit the 2 paychecks that arrive while I am away.
Strange morning. I think I will go make a banana milkshake for breakfast and bake cookies till lunch... oh... and vacuum the house as poor WinterWolf is coming over tomorrow and is SOOO allergic. M-SB can mop on Saturday.
Friday? Already?
This month is FLYING by. I would say TGIF if I was going to not be working throughout the weekend. But...
In 30min, I have an appointment with the tax guy.
Then I drive downtown to get henna and meet up with Airea for a girl's shopping day to deck me out and show me things like shoes and make-up to go with this nice dress I have. Somewhere over the week that I will be in Tennessee, Mike is taking me to a fancy thing (dinner? ballroom dancing? *panic*) and Airea and some of the other students and friends are going to hopefully help me not look like a tomboyish fool.
And the end of the day is focused on CMS. Setting up the new classroom space, viewing the film The Wicker Man and doing a guided meditation. Then helping Faby take home some boxes as she is moving soon.
A busy day in all. I hope to add to my character journal later tonight. I had twice attempted to do so yesterday. But Blogger ATE my attempts. And dumb me didn't save them into MS Word... which I will do this time. I refuse to go back into the game to roleplay till the blog is up to date.
Weekend carziness ahead too:
Saturday:
-vet work
-Montreal Pagan Community Conference
-coven
Sunday:
-Ikea shopping for a bed for M-SB
-more shopping (secret) for a gift for some friends (which I know read this blog)
-ritual for some other friends
OH! and one last note for TODAY... this is important...
GOOD LUCK M-SB ON THE JOB INTERVIEW!!! (that is this evening)
In 30min, I have an appointment with the tax guy.
Then I drive downtown to get henna and meet up with Airea for a girl's shopping day to deck me out and show me things like shoes and make-up to go with this nice dress I have. Somewhere over the week that I will be in Tennessee, Mike is taking me to a fancy thing (dinner? ballroom dancing? *panic*) and Airea and some of the other students and friends are going to hopefully help me not look like a tomboyish fool.
And the end of the day is focused on CMS. Setting up the new classroom space, viewing the film The Wicker Man and doing a guided meditation. Then helping Faby take home some boxes as she is moving soon.
A busy day in all. I hope to add to my character journal later tonight. I had twice attempted to do so yesterday. But Blogger ATE my attempts. And dumb me didn't save them into MS Word... which I will do this time. I refuse to go back into the game to roleplay till the blog is up to date.
Weekend carziness ahead too:
Saturday:
-vet work
-Montreal Pagan Community Conference
-coven
Sunday:
-Ikea shopping for a bed for M-SB
-more shopping (secret) for a gift for some friends (which I know read this blog)
-ritual for some other friends
OH! and one last note for TODAY... this is important...
GOOD LUCK M-SB ON THE JOB INTERVIEW!!! (that is this evening)
Thursday, April 21, 2005
step forward... then back... grumble
I changed my hair today... just the way I part it. Trying this for a few day to see ifI like it.
I headed out and stopped by Blockbuster to use the giftcard and pick up a movie: Flight of the Phoenix. Went to the post office and mailed out the reading pack again to a student in Ontario. (I got it back as I had the wrong addy on it... oops.) Back to the bank to deposit a paycheck and some cash. CRAP! That was my response. $25 NSF. WTF!!!??? Crap... Sympatico went through yesterday... and bounced. and my money went in today. One day... One day... I want a friggin cushion in my account. *sigh* Continued along my route home to the photocopy place and photocopied the chapter I wanted from a book and some tax things. Then stopped into provigo intent of being frugal in the grocery store. I should have eaten first. Well I was kinda frugal... only $17 in groceries... but I had only planned on getting juice and dryer sheets. Well... now I will make cornmeal muffins for breakfast and cookies for me and M-SB and coven. Finally got back home... and I am bushed.
It was such a nice day out!!! I will grab a snack and water the animals now. I renewed the lease too. I really really really hope that this is not a bad mistake.
Just dropped some money into my Visa to cover the car insurance and my SWG. I will call them tomorrow morning. I called Sympatico... they will charge my account in 10 days. So... I have to remember to leave $200 in my account for when I am in Tennessee so my Sympatico AND my school loan payments pass without problem.
I know this is all not very interesting to readers... but it is a good reminder for me.
OH! And now have an appointment with a tax specialist for the complex taxes of M-SB/Scarlet/CMS. I hope that goes well. Cash back would be real nice.
The pets all have water now... and the fishtank is blissfully quiet. I am off to clean the kitchen and move the geckos to the hall.
I headed out and stopped by Blockbuster to use the giftcard and pick up a movie: Flight of the Phoenix. Went to the post office and mailed out the reading pack again to a student in Ontario. (I got it back as I had the wrong addy on it... oops.) Back to the bank to deposit a paycheck and some cash. CRAP! That was my response. $25 NSF. WTF!!!??? Crap... Sympatico went through yesterday... and bounced. and my money went in today. One day... One day... I want a friggin cushion in my account. *sigh* Continued along my route home to the photocopy place and photocopied the chapter I wanted from a book and some tax things. Then stopped into provigo intent of being frugal in the grocery store. I should have eaten first. Well I was kinda frugal... only $17 in groceries... but I had only planned on getting juice and dryer sheets. Well... now I will make cornmeal muffins for breakfast and cookies for me and M-SB and coven. Finally got back home... and I am bushed.
It was such a nice day out!!! I will grab a snack and water the animals now. I renewed the lease too. I really really really hope that this is not a bad mistake.
Just dropped some money into my Visa to cover the car insurance and my SWG. I will call them tomorrow morning. I called Sympatico... they will charge my account in 10 days. So... I have to remember to leave $200 in my account for when I am in Tennessee so my Sympatico AND my school loan payments pass without problem.
I know this is all not very interesting to readers... but it is a good reminder for me.
OH! And now have an appointment with a tax specialist for the complex taxes of M-SB/Scarlet/CMS. I hope that goes well. Cash back would be real nice.
The pets all have water now... and the fishtank is blissfully quiet. I am off to clean the kitchen and move the geckos to the hall.
the progress is slow
Well... ok... i am starting off a bit slow. Spent most of the morning talking with M-SB on MSN and sorting stuff... and doing more math for the taxes... ugh.
Researching information of separation and divorce. Wow... the laws are complex and aimed at making things difficult. No wonder many divorces end up nasty and messy. Well, tried to see Concordia Legal Aid for advice, but they are closed till May. I made an appointment with Head & Hands instead (thanks to my boss for the contact). Mark & I will go there next Wednesday and see what they say.
We started trying to figure out the new layout of the living arrangements... and moving much of the school classes to home for library access and all. So far, we figure that we will like we did when we had a roommate, Jen. Mark will get the front bedroom (the Blue Room) and I will move into my office. His office will become the library. The livingroom will become the teaching and ritual space.
Now that I have had a LOOOOOONNGG hot shower and feel much less stiff, I will get to doing other stuff for the day. I will water the pets... as in fill the fish tank with fresh water, refresh the water bottles in the rodent cages, and fill the water bowls for the snakes. I will gather the tax stuff to photocopy and the CMS stuff to photocopy and head out to run the errands. I kinda miss the extra days for doing stuff... but i need the funds so I need to pack stuff into my "weekend" Thursdays and Fridays.
Researching information of separation and divorce. Wow... the laws are complex and aimed at making things difficult. No wonder many divorces end up nasty and messy. Well, tried to see Concordia Legal Aid for advice, but they are closed till May. I made an appointment with Head & Hands instead (thanks to my boss for the contact). Mark & I will go there next Wednesday and see what they say.
We started trying to figure out the new layout of the living arrangements... and moving much of the school classes to home for library access and all. So far, we figure that we will like we did when we had a roommate, Jen. Mark will get the front bedroom (the Blue Room) and I will move into my office. His office will become the library. The livingroom will become the teaching and ritual space.
Now that I have had a LOOOOOONNGG hot shower and feel much less stiff, I will get to doing other stuff for the day. I will water the pets... as in fill the fish tank with fresh water, refresh the water bottles in the rodent cages, and fill the water bowls for the snakes. I will gather the tax stuff to photocopy and the CMS stuff to photocopy and head out to run the errands. I kinda miss the extra days for doing stuff... but i need the funds so I need to pack stuff into my "weekend" Thursdays and Fridays.
The day begins...
I am awake... and stiff... gym was great yesterday... but now I am stiff...
Agenda for the day today:
-LONG HOT SHOWER
-Concordia for legal advice (if I can see someone today)
-Clean the kitchen
-water all pets
-photocopies
-post office
-get dryer sheets and juice
-taxes
-renew lease
-clean out 2nd hall closet
-sort hall bookshelves'
-laundry
I was woken by a call from the door downstairs. I think it was the postman. Mark has the mailbox key, so I can't tell what was missed. Well, I will have to wait till he gets home and do a package pickup tomorrow... if that is what it was. I wasn't expecting anything... *shrug*
My online roleplaying friend, Max, is getting married this weekend. I will miss him while he is away. And I wish him all the best! Congrats to them both!
Ok... I have a busy day ahead of me.
Agenda for the day today:
-LONG HOT SHOWER
-Concordia for legal advice (if I can see someone today)
-Clean the kitchen
-water all pets
-photocopies
-post office
-get dryer sheets and juice
-taxes
-renew lease
-clean out 2nd hall closet
-sort hall bookshelves'
-laundry
I was woken by a call from the door downstairs. I think it was the postman. Mark has the mailbox key, so I can't tell what was missed. Well, I will have to wait till he gets home and do a package pickup tomorrow... if that is what it was. I wasn't expecting anything... *shrug*
My online roleplaying friend, Max, is getting married this weekend. I will miss him while he is away. And I wish him all the best! Congrats to them both!
Ok... I have a busy day ahead of me.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Bizarreness & Annoyances
I got a small piece of wood stuck in my hand during the renovations and the doctors at the clinic did not have time to deal with it yesterday. So I went today and wasted mostly 3 hours of my day. No. It is still not our. The doctor said it has been 5 days and no infection. Cutting it out would be useless now as the body has started to break it down and work it out. I am to soak it 3 times a day in hot water. If it gets infected, she gave me a prescription for antibiotics... but ONLY if it gets infected. So... ANNOYING!!!
And it is official. Mark and I will be splitting up. Doing so is proving to be overly complex.... and bizarre as we would like to remain friends and roommates. The legal system does not think this is a possible thing. Grumble. Research needed. I go speak to Legal Aid at Concordia if I can tomorrow... then off to do our taxes....
Then back to cleaning house... 5 days of me busy working means household neglect. *sigh of frustration*
Oh... the new classroom should be finally set up by the end of the weekend (if it f-ing kills me).
And it is official. Mark and I will be splitting up. Doing so is proving to be overly complex.... and bizarre as we would like to remain friends and roommates. The legal system does not think this is a possible thing. Grumble. Research needed. I go speak to Legal Aid at Concordia if I can tomorrow... then off to do our taxes....
Then back to cleaning house... 5 days of me busy working means household neglect. *sigh of frustration*
Oh... the new classroom should be finally set up by the end of the weekend (if it f-ing kills me).
Monday, April 18, 2005
ARG... f-ing alarm!!!
The fire alarm in the building hallway is battery low again and beep-squeaking LOUDLY every 30 seconds. It is driving me CRAZY!!! I can't sleep. I am thinking of trying to sleep in my office with some music going. Hopefully that will drown it out some.
Guess I will do some work while I am up.
Making the CMS Specialty Programs poster.
Making an Awakening Isis poster.
Crap. Can't listen to any CD's... all my music is at the store. Damn. I must remember to bring it home with me tomorrow. If the store is fond of any of them... they can get me some blank CD's and I will burn copies. But I need my music back now.
Gods... I am SOO tired. I can hear the damn alarm thingy all the way to my office WITH MY DOOR CLOSED! How can anyone sleep through it!?
Guess I will do some work while I am up.
Making the CMS Specialty Programs poster.
Making an Awakening Isis poster.
Crap. Can't listen to any CD's... all my music is at the store. Damn. I must remember to bring it home with me tomorrow. If the store is fond of any of them... they can get me some blank CD's and I will burn copies. But I need my music back now.
Gods... I am SOO tired. I can hear the damn alarm thingy all the way to my office WITH MY DOOR CLOSED! How can anyone sleep through it!?
Sunday, April 17, 2005
New Orleans Trip
I went to www.flickr.com and set up a photo album thingy. Now you can go see the photos I took in New Orleans!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/23903639@N00/sets/239860/show/
or
http://www.flickr.com/photos/23903639@N00/sets/239860/
You can leave comments and all that! This is a nifty site. Maybe when I am more energetic, I will set one up for CMS.
Something I did to avoid the math work. I just can't get my head around the math today. I am feeling kinda brain-dead.
I rpomise to do something similar for when I go to Tennessee.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/23903639@N00/sets/239860/show/
or
http://www.flickr.com/photos/23903639@N00/sets/239860/
You can leave comments and all that! This is a nifty site. Maybe when I am more energetic, I will set one up for CMS.
Something I did to avoid the math work. I just can't get my head around the math today. I am feeling kinda brain-dead.
I rpomise to do something similar for when I go to Tennessee.
Missing It... grumble
Tonite an owl is playing cello in a small concert. I wanted to go. But there is a cover charge and I be much broke to my greatest frustration. I was hoping to show up as a surprise. Dammit. This day has not gone well.
Fine... I will go do nasty tax math and prep the taxes for the tax guy. *grumble*
Fine... I will go do nasty tax math and prep the taxes for the tax guy. *grumble*
Wasted Day
I got up early and was out to the gym. I was really still too achy to workout. I sat on the bench outside the gym and waited fro Roo and Faby. Roo did not show. I understand that... she is sick. I hope she was getting lots of rest. After an hour and a half of waiting and Faby had not shown either... and I got tired of reading my book... I left. Grumbling. I went to the store to start moving the furniture down to the new classroom. I was all by myself for this. I am very grateful for all the help I got from folks over the weeks for it. But today... I was alone. I moved down the TV stand and VCR, some of the chairs, the filing unit, and moved the shelf to the other wall and set some things up. I was tired, sore and cranky... and unfed.
Now... I am going for a nap.
Now... I am going for a nap.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Tired and Not...
I did not sleep well. I missed dinner last night. I got so busy with teaching and renovating the new classroom that I forgot to eat my lunch that was waiting for me in the fridge there. Got home... and there was NOTHING in the house to eat either... nor drink. That meant I tried to make something unusual which turned out crappy and just made me nauseous. I will have to pick up a couple things like milk and bread... and maybe some other stuff. I only have $17... so I have to be selective. And damn. I even left my juice in the fridge at work! I hate drinking nasty tap water. I was awake at 4AM all annoyed and thirsty. And again at 7AM.
I am going to work at the vet hungry and thirsty too. *sigh*
I need only hold out till that is finished and I can hurry over to the store. Then I will sit and eat and drink. I have a frozen dinner waiting and my juice.
This is NOT how I want to lose weight!!!
My knee still hurts but not as bad. When I go to the gym tomorrow I will focus on all the upper body stuff instead... and the abs. I will skip ANYTHING that works my knee in any way.
I may bandage the knee and walk in the sun. I am sick of being cooped up in the f-ing dark. I cannot handle this anymore. Don't know how M-SB can tolerate it for so long. I NEED NEED NEED to get out!!! The sun is inspiring to be creative... or my NEED for change is. I finished chapter 2 of my SWG novel (with help) and it will get posted online tonight. I am also planning on tackling the updates for the CMS website and maybe some other things on the website. I also already have ideas on how to rearrange my home... they are perculating in my mind. When I get everything cleaned and sorted... and I get back from Tennessee... then I will tackle rearranging the house.
I want to have balcony access for the summer... and I REALLY want that 2-seat rocking chair thing... for either the balcony of my room. A place to sit and rock and read. It is something I have wanted since I was a very little girl. Silly... but I still want it. I only have $20 saved for it so far. another $120 and taxes to go. I figure it will be my birthday present to myself. I get myself one thing a year... usually. 2 years ago, I got my bike. Last year I got my drivers license and insurance. This year... I will get this. I will add another $20 to the envelope for it this week.
Oh.. crap. I have to spend some time tonight doing financial math stuff and calculate things for CMS so I can do the taxes. The guy called me back yesterday to let me know what I need. It will take me some time to figure that out. I want to see him next Thursday and get all the taxes sorted out. I have this nasty feeling that I will have to pay lots in taxes this year instead of getting stuff back. That would suck.
Oh... I am going to renew my lease for this apartment. It is currently too much hassle to try to figure out another location for a good deal and this one is fine. Also moving costs alot. The rent will be a struggle with M-SB out of work, but hopefully he will find something soon. I plan on moving much of the CMS stuff to home to help and maybe I will swallow my pride a little and accept the assistance that had been offered... if I need to. I will try very hard to NOT need it. Yes... I have alot of personal pride... or stubborn pig-headedness... whichever you want to call it.
OOps! I have to get to work. I hope it is a quiet day at the vet clinic. I am tired... and all I want to do is get out and over to the store for the CMS stuff.
I am going to work at the vet hungry and thirsty too. *sigh*
I need only hold out till that is finished and I can hurry over to the store. Then I will sit and eat and drink. I have a frozen dinner waiting and my juice.
This is NOT how I want to lose weight!!!
My knee still hurts but not as bad. When I go to the gym tomorrow I will focus on all the upper body stuff instead... and the abs. I will skip ANYTHING that works my knee in any way.
I may bandage the knee and walk in the sun. I am sick of being cooped up in the f-ing dark. I cannot handle this anymore. Don't know how M-SB can tolerate it for so long. I NEED NEED NEED to get out!!! The sun is inspiring to be creative... or my NEED for change is. I finished chapter 2 of my SWG novel (with help) and it will get posted online tonight. I am also planning on tackling the updates for the CMS website and maybe some other things on the website. I also already have ideas on how to rearrange my home... they are perculating in my mind. When I get everything cleaned and sorted... and I get back from Tennessee... then I will tackle rearranging the house.
I want to have balcony access for the summer... and I REALLY want that 2-seat rocking chair thing... for either the balcony of my room. A place to sit and rock and read. It is something I have wanted since I was a very little girl. Silly... but I still want it. I only have $20 saved for it so far. another $120 and taxes to go. I figure it will be my birthday present to myself. I get myself one thing a year... usually. 2 years ago, I got my bike. Last year I got my drivers license and insurance. This year... I will get this. I will add another $20 to the envelope for it this week.
Oh.. crap. I have to spend some time tonight doing financial math stuff and calculate things for CMS so I can do the taxes. The guy called me back yesterday to let me know what I need. It will take me some time to figure that out. I want to see him next Thursday and get all the taxes sorted out. I have this nasty feeling that I will have to pay lots in taxes this year instead of getting stuff back. That would suck.
Oh... I am going to renew my lease for this apartment. It is currently too much hassle to try to figure out another location for a good deal and this one is fine. Also moving costs alot. The rent will be a struggle with M-SB out of work, but hopefully he will find something soon. I plan on moving much of the CMS stuff to home to help and maybe I will swallow my pride a little and accept the assistance that had been offered... if I need to. I will try very hard to NOT need it. Yes... I have alot of personal pride... or stubborn pig-headedness... whichever you want to call it.
OOps! I have to get to work. I hope it is a quiet day at the vet clinic. I am tired... and all I want to do is get out and over to the store for the CMS stuff.
Friday, April 15, 2005
SWG Story Online
I am in the process of getting my SWG story online on my website.
http://www.mtl-magicalcircle.ca/
http://www.mtl-magicalcircle.ca/SWG/index.html
http://www.mtl-magicalcircle.ca/SWG/story-swg.htm
Woohoo!!! I have the prologue and the first chapter up with pictures. I am almost done chapter 2, which will be up before Saturday morning.
Then comes the next real big challenge... writing the next chapters. In time. I have some other commitments first to write. But I will get to it. I will also try to get up character Bios over the coming week. And try to fill in some of the photos pages. Other stuff I have to do is update the CMS website while I am in WEB mode. All stuff for over the weekend.
HAVE FUN READING!!!
http://www.mtl-magicalcircle.ca/
http://www.mtl-magicalcircle.ca/SWG/index.html
http://www.mtl-magicalcircle.ca/SWG/story-swg.htm
Woohoo!!! I have the prologue and the first chapter up with pictures. I am almost done chapter 2, which will be up before Saturday morning.
Then comes the next real big challenge... writing the next chapters. In time. I have some other commitments first to write. But I will get to it. I will also try to get up character Bios over the coming week. And try to fill in some of the photos pages. Other stuff I have to do is update the CMS website while I am in WEB mode. All stuff for over the weekend.
HAVE FUN READING!!!
Docile Day
This has been a docile day... kinda lazy... and slow. I did some dishes and worked on my SWG book and the website http://www.mtl-magicalcircle.ca/SWG/index.html
I may or may not do some cleaning. I am really trying to take it easy. The knee is still hurting and my back. I have to do some serious cleaning tonite in the new classroom space. I don't feel like cleaning home too.
I had to listen to mom talk silly about her worry about surgeries and stuff. Silly. Things will be fine. And I am not far.
I am going to just relax and enjoy the day. Tomorrow I will fight with CMS finances for the taxes next week. And then work on the house some more. I hope to get some bills paid with incoming funds and get some henna for a fun henna day with Roo. Weehee! I want to be all henna-ed by May... and I hope it will last for that whole month.
The gym is on hold a bit till the hurting stops. I will go Sunday with Roo and Faby. I am feeling more emotionally stable... now if Mom would stop having mother-daughter talks with me till I get other stuff in my life sorted out.
The sun is shining and it is gorgeously warm for a nice walk. I took one for lunch. though realized a sweater is necessary to be comfortable. Ooops.
I may or may not do some cleaning. I am really trying to take it easy. The knee is still hurting and my back. I have to do some serious cleaning tonite in the new classroom space. I don't feel like cleaning home too.
I had to listen to mom talk silly about her worry about surgeries and stuff. Silly. Things will be fine. And I am not far.
I am going to just relax and enjoy the day. Tomorrow I will fight with CMS finances for the taxes next week. And then work on the house some more. I hope to get some bills paid with incoming funds and get some henna for a fun henna day with Roo. Weehee! I want to be all henna-ed by May... and I hope it will last for that whole month.
The gym is on hold a bit till the hurting stops. I will go Sunday with Roo and Faby. I am feeling more emotionally stable... now if Mom would stop having mother-daughter talks with me till I get other stuff in my life sorted out.
The sun is shining and it is gorgeously warm for a nice walk. I took one for lunch. though realized a sweater is necessary to be comfortable. Ooops.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
day off
I have one? OMGs!!
I am taking a bit of a ME day. I am making lunch and working on my SWG novel. I will do some house cleaning too in between. I may even watch more episodes of Dark Angel... for the 3rd time.
Tonight, I am meeting CMS and MPRC folks to scrub down the new spaces and do a cleansing and blessing of the new spaces. YAY!
I hope my Visa payment registers by morning so I can pay a couple bills (CAA & the last bit of this year's car insurance).
I did not go to the gym today. Roo has a fever and I am all sore from the gym yesterday. So... this is going to be a more relaxed day. I have help this time too with the SWG book! Weehee!!
I am taking a bit of a ME day. I am making lunch and working on my SWG novel. I will do some house cleaning too in between. I may even watch more episodes of Dark Angel... for the 3rd time.
Tonight, I am meeting CMS and MPRC folks to scrub down the new spaces and do a cleansing and blessing of the new spaces. YAY!
I hope my Visa payment registers by morning so I can pay a couple bills (CAA & the last bit of this year's car insurance).
I did not go to the gym today. Roo has a fever and I am all sore from the gym yesterday. So... this is going to be a more relaxed day. I have help this time too with the SWG book! Weehee!!
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
I take it back
The day has not improved. Financial stress crashed down again. As did family and relationship stress, and career stress. GRRRR...
May is only a couple weeks away. I can hold out till then for a vacation. I have to hold out till then.
Well... some things will have to be decided by April 25th... like my lease. Renew or not. To what extent do I want to make changes? Can we/i afford to continue living here?
grrrr.....
May is only a couple weeks away. I can hold out till then for a vacation. I have to hold out till then.
Well... some things will have to be decided by April 25th... like my lease. Renew or not. To what extent do I want to make changes? Can we/i afford to continue living here?
grrrr.....
Improved and now trying something different
The day improved over the course of it. And so far is ending decently with yummy tacos made by M-SB. So, I thought I would copy a student of mine and try something different:
A is for - Age: 32
B is for - Boyfriend/Girlfriend's name: Mark
C is for - Career you want: Running my own school and being a creative Wiccan Priestess.
D is for - Dad's name: Thomas
E is for - Education level: too much and wanting more... University BA (2) want my MA
F is for - Favorite CD: Evanecense.
G is for - Guy/Girls your interested in: all my friends and students
H is for - Hometown: NDG
I is for - Instrument(s) you play: Bodhran
J is for - Job title: Sales & consultant, teacher, coordinator, receptionist (depending what job you are looking at
K is for - Kids: really really want one.
L is for - Living arrangement: sharing
M is for - Mom's name: Tina
N is for - Number of people you've slept with: so not answering, none of anyone's business
O is for - Overnight hospital stays: 1
P is for - Phobia(s): deep water and sometimes heights, crowds that focus on the me inside
Q is for - Quote you like: "Real leaders are ordinary people with extraordinary determination."
R is for - Relationship: ???
S is for - Sexual position: depends on my mood and his
T is for - current time: 7:56pm
U is for - Unique trait(s): the red of my hair and that it grows so fast
V is for - Vegetable you love: bok choy
W is for - Worst habit: poor finacial management
X is for - X-rays you've had: all sorts for skeletal injuries
Y is for - Yummy food you like: iced capaccino's from Tim Horton's
Z is for - Zodiac sign: Leo
A is for - Age: 32
B is for - Boyfriend/Girlfriend's name: Mark
C is for - Career you want: Running my own school and being a creative Wiccan Priestess.
D is for - Dad's name: Thomas
E is for - Education level: too much and wanting more... University BA (2) want my MA
F is for - Favorite CD: Evanecense.
G is for - Guy/Girls your interested in: all my friends and students
H is for - Hometown: NDG
I is for - Instrument(s) you play: Bodhran
J is for - Job title: Sales & consultant, teacher, coordinator, receptionist (depending what job you are looking at
K is for - Kids: really really want one.
L is for - Living arrangement: sharing
M is for - Mom's name: Tina
N is for - Number of people you've slept with: so not answering, none of anyone's business
O is for - Overnight hospital stays: 1
P is for - Phobia(s): deep water and sometimes heights, crowds that focus on the me inside
Q is for - Quote you like: "Real leaders are ordinary people with extraordinary determination."
R is for - Relationship: ???
S is for - Sexual position: depends on my mood and his
T is for - current time: 7:56pm
U is for - Unique trait(s): the red of my hair and that it grows so fast
V is for - Vegetable you love: bok choy
W is for - Worst habit: poor finacial management
X is for - X-rays you've had: all sorts for skeletal injuries
Y is for - Yummy food you like: iced capaccino's from Tim Horton's
Z is for - Zodiac sign: Leo
Bad Day
Some days you can feel will be bad before you step out of bed. You try to deny it... but you can't. That is today. I had plans to bike to work and have a great time. I woke and wasn't even sore... just rock stiff. I can deal with stiff. But that feeling of "bad day pending" was there. I tried to ignore it and chatted lightly with some friends as I baked muffins. Damn... nothing for lunch at work. Damn... bills want money ASAP and more than I can remotely consider giving them. Damn... it looks like it will be cold and rainy, so no biking. Ugh... this day is not starting off well.
I now have to drive in with $0 for parking... and no lunch. I hope my pay today is substantial. That way I can deposit it at lunch and get something to eat.
It is hard to trust in the gods in moments like this. Life is a challenge so they say. But it have to f-ing be so all the f-ing time?
I now have to drive in with $0 for parking... and no lunch. I hope my pay today is substantial. That way I can deposit it at lunch and get something to eat.
It is hard to trust in the gods in moments like this. Life is a challenge so they say. But it have to f-ing be so all the f-ing time?
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Celebrating with Ceri
Ceri is getting published in a magazine! She was celebrating at Hurley's. I went out there to meet with friends and celebrate with her. CONGRATS!!!
It was good to get to sit and chat with folks.
But now I be much tired. And no... I had nothing to drink... not even coffee. I need to be in bed early and hope I don't wake in pain. Tomorrow I have a big day ahead of me.
- bake muffins
- call tax guy and see what I need (get appointment for Friday)
- make a CMS poster for sepcialties
- email CMS e-list about specialties
- put air in my bike tires
- bike to work
- work at the store
- bike to Curves to meet Faby
- do banking
- bike home
- laundry
It was good to get to sit and chat with folks.
But now I be much tired. And no... I had nothing to drink... not even coffee. I need to be in bed early and hope I don't wake in pain. Tomorrow I have a big day ahead of me.
- bake muffins
- call tax guy and see what I need (get appointment for Friday)
- make a CMS poster for sepcialties
- email CMS e-list about specialties
- put air in my bike tires
- bike to work
- work at the store
- bike to Curves to meet Faby
- do banking
- bike home
- laundry
A Little Update
Yesterday was nice having the house alone at night. And I tackled some needed stuff. I was woken in pain... which lingered but slowly eased some by morning. Hot hot hot shower helped. I will take another before bed tonight.
Bathroom got cleaned, kitchen got tidied, recycle sorted (will go down tonight before I leave), locker stuff id by the door (also will go down before I leave), and worked at the store. It was thankfully peaceful there. The Apothecary is really coming along. Looks SO COOL!
I managed to make appointments to see my physiotherapist on the 28th and my osteopath in May. I hope the funds will make themselves available. I did not go to the gym today after all. I figured I had better not risk straining anything. I will likely go Thursday... give my body some relax time.
Some "coincidences"?
Messages from Aspecting Divinity:
- "Don't look back"
- "someone like the queen of wands will be important in the near future to you"
Message from Intuitive Astrology in WynterGreene:
Take action, don't look back,stop analyzing and go with your feelings... just DO IT. New partnership on horizon is positive for you. Trust in the newness and the process. Your test this year is to learn to trust and act on your feelings... and to have faith in the goddess, let her put it all in place. All will work itself out. Have faith.
And from another astrologer... I was asking if I was going through a Saturn Return. But I thought I had gone through one in 2001 when I quit my job and took on another and really switched my focus in life. She confirmed this and then said I am very intuitive as I have Saturn currently transiting my Moon Nodes which is like another Saturn Return. But I have NO IDEA what that means. She wrote me that My chart shows that I have trust issues and inhibitions regarding "having fun", as well as problems with crowds and likely athsma. I was impressed... and a bit spooked. I want to know what all this means. I want to understand what the *F* is going on with me. But I am not prepared to dish out $250US for her to do a full reading. I will ask our local reader here for more information. Saturn in Gemini. Saturn in Gemini means I am a goal-oriented person that needs change... sometimes radical changes and much intercommunication and involvement. Hmm.... Saturn in the 5th House means... well... the 5th house is the fortune house... and what we put out from our deepest selves. Great... I have Saturn there. HAHAHAHAH!!! I am supposed to be in control of my finances. HAHAHAHA!!! Fun is not part of the vocabulary if Saturn is in the 5th house, neither is taking risks nor trusting to fate or any other outside force. It impedes my spontinaety and drives me to overwork myself. I need to learn to trust and to play. Oy... *sigh*
So... coincidence or not? I will have a shit load of things happening in my life and I need to make some serious changes and supposedly learnt o trust others and in the divine and take a leap of faith and risk into the very new and unknown... oh... and learn to play.
Someone shoot me now.
Bathroom got cleaned, kitchen got tidied, recycle sorted (will go down tonight before I leave), locker stuff id by the door (also will go down before I leave), and worked at the store. It was thankfully peaceful there. The Apothecary is really coming along. Looks SO COOL!
I managed to make appointments to see my physiotherapist on the 28th and my osteopath in May. I hope the funds will make themselves available. I did not go to the gym today after all. I figured I had better not risk straining anything. I will likely go Thursday... give my body some relax time.
Some "coincidences"?
Messages from Aspecting Divinity:
- "Don't look back"
- "someone like the queen of wands will be important in the near future to you"
Message from Intuitive Astrology in WynterGreene:
Take action, don't look back,stop analyzing and go with your feelings... just DO IT. New partnership on horizon is positive for you. Trust in the newness and the process. Your test this year is to learn to trust and act on your feelings... and to have faith in the goddess, let her put it all in place. All will work itself out. Have faith.
And from another astrologer... I was asking if I was going through a Saturn Return. But I thought I had gone through one in 2001 when I quit my job and took on another and really switched my focus in life. She confirmed this and then said I am very intuitive as I have Saturn currently transiting my Moon Nodes which is like another Saturn Return. But I have NO IDEA what that means. She wrote me that My chart shows that I have trust issues and inhibitions regarding "having fun", as well as problems with crowds and likely athsma. I was impressed... and a bit spooked. I want to know what all this means. I want to understand what the *F* is going on with me. But I am not prepared to dish out $250US for her to do a full reading. I will ask our local reader here for more information. Saturn in Gemini. Saturn in Gemini means I am a goal-oriented person that needs change... sometimes radical changes and much intercommunication and involvement. Hmm.... Saturn in the 5th House means... well... the 5th house is the fortune house... and what we put out from our deepest selves. Great... I have Saturn there. HAHAHAHAH!!! I am supposed to be in control of my finances. HAHAHAHA!!! Fun is not part of the vocabulary if Saturn is in the 5th house, neither is taking risks nor trusting to fate or any other outside force. It impedes my spontinaety and drives me to overwork myself. I need to learn to trust and to play. Oy... *sigh*
So... coincidence or not? I will have a shit load of things happening in my life and I need to make some serious changes and supposedly learnt o trust others and in the divine and take a leap of faith and risk into the very new and unknown... oh... and learn to play.
Someone shoot me now.
*PAIN*
Pain... f-ing pain. *cry* My shoulders are in agony. So is my back. The muscles just started feeling all kinky and then locked up. I can't sleep. I hurt so f-ing much. I so need to go to physio. This is frustrating. If it isn't one part of my damned body it is another. If it is not one part of my damned life... it is another. WHY CAN'T I GET AN F-ING BREAK!!!???!!! *cry*
Monday, April 11, 2005
Busy day tomorrow
Plan:
- clean the bathroom
- tidy the kitchen
- take stuff down to the locker
- take stuff out to the recycle
- work at the store (create Apothecary samples with labels)
- go to the gym
- scoff something fast for dinner
- jump in for a quick shower
- CMS teachers meeting at 7pm
- meet people at Hurley's Irish Pub to celebrate a friend getting published in a magazine
Yup... that is a busy day! I don't want to be out too late though. I want to get a good night's sleep as I will be biking to work on Wednesday... unless it rains. I am out of parking money for the car on Wednesday... so what choice do I have left? Besides... it will be a good workout.
- clean the bathroom
- tidy the kitchen
- take stuff down to the locker
- take stuff out to the recycle
- work at the store (create Apothecary samples with labels)
- go to the gym
- scoff something fast for dinner
- jump in for a quick shower
- CMS teachers meeting at 7pm
- meet people at Hurley's Irish Pub to celebrate a friend getting published in a magazine
Yup... that is a busy day! I don't want to be out too late though. I want to get a good night's sleep as I will be biking to work on Wednesday... unless it rains. I am out of parking money for the car on Wednesday... so what choice do I have left? Besides... it will be a good workout.
Something
YAY! I finished one hall closet and cleaned the mice! Now I wish I had something to reward myself with... especially since I now have a wicked headache.
Nothingness
Nothing got accomplished. Nothing interesting is going on. Nothingness. Nothing is good for a change. I guess. I am tired.
Hey... I have a bit of energy and time. I will clean my mice and that first hall closet tonite.
Hey... I have a bit of energy and time. I will clean my mice and that first hall closet tonite.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Limbo today
I feel a bit like I am in limbo. I woke at 7AM then again at 8AM. I thought it was 9AM. DOH! Oh well. It gave me time to start working with the new distance level 1 student before I met Roo at the gym. I was still not really awake but worked out anyways. My energy was dropping fast.
As I got back and walked the dog at the vet clinic, I was crashing. I flopped on the bed while M-SB made beans and eggs and toast for brunch. I ate in silence and crashed again... for like 5 hours.
I woke cramped. Love that time of month. *hear the sarcasm drip* I am still in pain. i got a movie, Elektra, hoping the distraction would help some. Not really. Time for a hot water bottle and drugs. The movie was good... worth the seeing, dispite reviews.
Well, no cleaning got done today either. Damn. Maybe later.
As I got back and walked the dog at the vet clinic, I was crashing. I flopped on the bed while M-SB made beans and eggs and toast for brunch. I ate in silence and crashed again... for like 5 hours.
I woke cramped. Love that time of month. *hear the sarcasm drip* I am still in pain. i got a movie, Elektra, hoping the distraction would help some. Not really. Time for a hot water bottle and drugs. The movie was good... worth the seeing, dispite reviews.
Well, no cleaning got done today either. Damn. Maybe later.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Being a Girl
Today I did a "girlie" thing. I wenty shopping... for clothes and shoes. I don't usually do the shopping thing. I used to love it when I had friends I hung with come out and we would make a day of it. But that hasn't happened for like... um... um... um... 13 years ago. Oy!!! Well, Mom had a small fit at my now tattering clothing. I need new things if I want to be presentable and not ratty. So off i went to spend $50. I know, I know... that is hardly a "shopping spree" for clothing. But it was all I had.
OH! And Walmart (sorry Ceri) is my clothing best friend. They had a wide variety of clothes and normal sizing... and great prices for my eensy-weensy budget. I got a new pair of sorta hip-hugging pants, two nice shirts, and a gym shirt. The pants direly need hemming... as every set of pants or skirts I get needs. I have short legs.
And wow... I really have lost weight. 13lbs and and 2 clothing sizes in 4 months. Wow. YAY ME!! All that salad and walking is actually paying off! Stress hasn't helped... or rather helped alot.
But today... was a good day. I feel great in my new clothes. And threw my shirt and pants I was wearing today right into the garbage! PURGE! That felt great too. Now to get to some needed cleaning as this house seems to be neglected. Grrr... Coven tonight... need to get the place cleaned up. Then find food. I AM HUNGRY! I had only a some fried dumplings today... and my supper plans are making me hungry: hamburger and vegetable stirfry over Asian noodles. Mmmmm... damn... hungry. I better grab a snack.
OH! And Walmart (sorry Ceri) is my clothing best friend. They had a wide variety of clothes and normal sizing... and great prices for my eensy-weensy budget. I got a new pair of sorta hip-hugging pants, two nice shirts, and a gym shirt. The pants direly need hemming... as every set of pants or skirts I get needs. I have short legs.
And wow... I really have lost weight. 13lbs and and 2 clothing sizes in 4 months. Wow. YAY ME!! All that salad and walking is actually paying off! Stress hasn't helped... or rather helped alot.
But today... was a good day. I feel great in my new clothes. And threw my shirt and pants I was wearing today right into the garbage! PURGE! That felt great too. Now to get to some needed cleaning as this house seems to be neglected. Grrr... Coven tonight... need to get the place cleaned up. Then find food. I AM HUNGRY! I had only a some fried dumplings today... and my supper plans are making me hungry: hamburger and vegetable stirfry over Asian noodles. Mmmmm... damn... hungry. I better grab a snack.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Stupid Blogger
There goes Thursday nights' entry... to blogger never never land. No... I have almost NO IDEA what it said. It wasn't too long... but... oh well.
Well.. Thursday Roo and I went to Curves. It was great! The 30 minutes flew by and we had a blast!!! Now... I ache... lots... but the good kind of ache that says I worked out. Wish I could get a massage now though.
The homefront if very friendly and comfortable... a bit platonic but that is the space I wanted and need. I just have too much going on in me and around me for anything else. And I am feeling a bit more... like I can breathe.
I am still angry about some other things and other people... but I am not going to cross those wires... That could end several career options and friendships. Nothing was done to me to be angry about. But I am upset that people got mad around me unnecissarily at other people. Hit a moral nerve. Some apologies have been made... but one woman I KNOW will not apologize. I wish someone else now worked her shift at the vet. Oh well. *sigh*
In other news... I helped teach grade 3 today. They are an awesome class. I love teaching grades 1-3. And i like to teach with my mom. I am still trying to pin down her *magic teaching technique* Unfortunately I was too tired today to watch the energy play. But she is such an incredible woman and teacher. I can only hope I teach a 10th as well as she. On the note of teaching... Have I said recently how much I love my level 2 group? They are great! I miss my current level 3 group... they are great too... but we haven't met for a week or two. Next week. YAY! It has been a while since I could say I love to teach and love what I teach.
Maybe it was the nice sun today. Maybe it is the space I am given to think. Maybe it is the knowledge that I will have a vacation. Maybe it is because I worked out at a gym. Maybe.... maybe it is because I decided to do a couple things... for me.
Well.. Thursday Roo and I went to Curves. It was great! The 30 minutes flew by and we had a blast!!! Now... I ache... lots... but the good kind of ache that says I worked out. Wish I could get a massage now though.
The homefront if very friendly and comfortable... a bit platonic but that is the space I wanted and need. I just have too much going on in me and around me for anything else. And I am feeling a bit more... like I can breathe.
I am still angry about some other things and other people... but I am not going to cross those wires... That could end several career options and friendships. Nothing was done to me to be angry about. But I am upset that people got mad around me unnecissarily at other people. Hit a moral nerve. Some apologies have been made... but one woman I KNOW will not apologize. I wish someone else now worked her shift at the vet. Oh well. *sigh*
In other news... I helped teach grade 3 today. They are an awesome class. I love teaching grades 1-3. And i like to teach with my mom. I am still trying to pin down her *magic teaching technique* Unfortunately I was too tired today to watch the energy play. But she is such an incredible woman and teacher. I can only hope I teach a 10th as well as she. On the note of teaching... Have I said recently how much I love my level 2 group? They are great! I miss my current level 3 group... they are great too... but we haven't met for a week or two. Next week. YAY! It has been a while since I could say I love to teach and love what I teach.
Maybe it was the nice sun today. Maybe it is the space I am given to think. Maybe it is the knowledge that I will have a vacation. Maybe it is because I worked out at a gym. Maybe.... maybe it is because I decided to do a couple things... for me.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Still Alive... silly people...
I took that walk. DAMN! I walked all the way to Girouard and back. My online friend frwaked out about safety. This area? Dangerous? Students cramming for exams, old people too old to run, and the blind... that sounds like a dangerous crowd. The only danger I encountered was me not paying attention when i stepped out on the road and 3 cars honked at me.
Well, I got home safe and sound and exhausted. That walk took me like 3.5 hours.
Now I ache!
Well, I got home safe and sound and exhausted. That walk took me like 3.5 hours.
Now I ache!
Music? Poetry? Painting?
I have been acquiring songs from some people over the last little while. Some were ones I asked for, some were left to them to choose, some were randomly given to me. I have always wondered if there is meaning behind the songs people choose.
I used to write poems based on lines from many songs... to fit a mood I was in. The first time I wrote one of these was for the loss of a friend in 1985. The next was for love in 1999. I am now listening to a new set of songs and considering writing another. I wish time could just stand still long enough for me to completely sort myself out.
I sometimes feel... cold inside... this blog has been my best connection to try to sort out what I feel as a venue to write my thoughts. I just wish they were clearer to write them all down. I am pulled in two directions simultaneously... slow united "growth" or independant leaps... one is secure and the other makes my heart sing. I want my heart to sing in both. I must be selfish to want both. And I know I cannot have both.
"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If it doesn't, it never was."
*sigh*
Sometimes I wonder if I just went "POP". Brokedown. Snapped. Broken. When things get too much and you just snap and drop everything... even the important things. I was wondering if it was Saturn Returns for me or maybe a midlife crisis. Maybe I just need help. It hurts being this frustrated. Not able to voice my heart and thoughts. Hurting others trying.
Someone once told me that I should get back to doing something creative... find myself. Play music, write poetry, paint, sing, dance.... I haven't done anything like that... since... 1996... save for that one songline poem in 1999. I wonder if he still holds that embarrassing piece of paper. Maybe he has burned it. Maybe he holds it and remembers the feelings.
Lost... lost... and everything falls apart. Seems to be a cycle I am in... every 6-7 years my life falls apart badly. Who picks up the pieces this time? Last time, someone was cruel to me. This time I was cruel to someone else. I don't expect forgiveness or sympathy or understanding... I don't think I deserve it.
Communication is obviously not my strong point... especially if it is what is deep down feelings. Maybe I need to take many many many steps back. Can we go for a walk? Maybe sit and have tea somewhere quiet? And try to just talk... like friends... and just see what the other dreams about. Take many many many steps back and try to go back to the beginning when we were friends and see where it takes us from there?
I have gone so cold with the chaos of life and the frustrations it has brought... so cold... that things around me are dying. I can't even cry anymore... the tears are exhausted or choked. When I sensed change on the winds... I never thought so many things would suddenly come crashing down as the months of February and March dropped so suddenly from the calendar that I blinked and they were gone... along with so many other things. I pushed and then closed up and then refocused and then closed some more.... Nothing is real anymore.
Love?
Is there any?
What am I doing?
I think I will go for a long long midnight walk.
I feel like an empty cold stone... a cracked and flawed one.
I am nothing.
I used to write poems based on lines from many songs... to fit a mood I was in. The first time I wrote one of these was for the loss of a friend in 1985. The next was for love in 1999. I am now listening to a new set of songs and considering writing another. I wish time could just stand still long enough for me to completely sort myself out.
I sometimes feel... cold inside... this blog has been my best connection to try to sort out what I feel as a venue to write my thoughts. I just wish they were clearer to write them all down. I am pulled in two directions simultaneously... slow united "growth" or independant leaps... one is secure and the other makes my heart sing. I want my heart to sing in both. I must be selfish to want both. And I know I cannot have both.
"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If it doesn't, it never was."
*sigh*
Sometimes I wonder if I just went "POP". Brokedown. Snapped. Broken. When things get too much and you just snap and drop everything... even the important things. I was wondering if it was Saturn Returns for me or maybe a midlife crisis. Maybe I just need help. It hurts being this frustrated. Not able to voice my heart and thoughts. Hurting others trying.
Someone once told me that I should get back to doing something creative... find myself. Play music, write poetry, paint, sing, dance.... I haven't done anything like that... since... 1996... save for that one songline poem in 1999. I wonder if he still holds that embarrassing piece of paper. Maybe he has burned it. Maybe he holds it and remembers the feelings.
Lost... lost... and everything falls apart. Seems to be a cycle I am in... every 6-7 years my life falls apart badly. Who picks up the pieces this time? Last time, someone was cruel to me. This time I was cruel to someone else. I don't expect forgiveness or sympathy or understanding... I don't think I deserve it.
Communication is obviously not my strong point... especially if it is what is deep down feelings. Maybe I need to take many many many steps back. Can we go for a walk? Maybe sit and have tea somewhere quiet? And try to just talk... like friends... and just see what the other dreams about. Take many many many steps back and try to go back to the beginning when we were friends and see where it takes us from there?
I have gone so cold with the chaos of life and the frustrations it has brought... so cold... that things around me are dying. I can't even cry anymore... the tears are exhausted or choked. When I sensed change on the winds... I never thought so many things would suddenly come crashing down as the months of February and March dropped so suddenly from the calendar that I blinked and they were gone... along with so many other things. I pushed and then closed up and then refocused and then closed some more.... Nothing is real anymore.
Love?
Is there any?
What am I doing?
I think I will go for a long long midnight walk.
I feel like an empty cold stone... a cracked and flawed one.
I am nothing.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Today... what day is it?
This day confusion seems to be effecting many people. Groupmind thing? Who knows...
I was thinking it was Monday... but it is Wednesday!
Today I finally pretty much finished setting up the Apothecary and tested out the mixing of one of each of the new blends: bath salt, incense powder, sprinkling powder. Now to figure out presentation, cost and advertising. It was fun and tiring to do these renovations. There is still some things to do... and final touches. It is amazing so far.
I was thinking it was Monday... but it is Wednesday!
Today I finally pretty much finished setting up the Apothecary and tested out the mixing of one of each of the new blends: bath salt, incense powder, sprinkling powder. Now to figure out presentation, cost and advertising. It was fun and tiring to do these renovations. There is still some things to do... and final touches. It is amazing so far.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Store Transformation
WOW! The store looks absolutely incredible. MUST MUST SEE! Go as soon as you can and look! Today went really well at the store. I spent the day struggling with the Apothecary area. It was a fun struggle, despite the 1/4 inch of dust I discovered on the oils shelved and the poor spider that naver made it to the window. I had help. Sabrina did a wonderful job on making the bath salts and the sprinkling powders and filling up the jars. There will more of the same tomorrow. I have more cleaning and shuffling of stuff on the shelves to create a great mysterious and functional Apothecary. It feels wonderful to create something amidst all my spirit crushing bills and duties. And with the sun out today... and everyone's spirits rested some... well... the atmosphere was great.
You MUST all come see the store! WOW!
Now I have to decide what we will put the blended dry-stuffs into... and come up with an apropriate explanation poster. Oy. I will be thinking on it overnight and hopefully be inspired by the morning.
And Roo and I get to check out the new gym tomorrow! YAY! I need to find some gym-like clothing and at least the cheep $2 sneakers I have somewhere.
By the way... just finished watching the movie The Notebook. It is a tragic love story. It was very good. I watched it alone and loved it. I walked to the videostore in the mild evening air and returned the other movie and then picked this one. There are like 10 movies I want to see... I flipped a coin... several times to choose. 9 more to go... Maybe I will get another on Thursday as a break from the house cleaning. Hmmm.. ya.
The plan:
- long hot shower tonight to wash off the renovations... oh and the Amber Much I got all over myself today. *smells great... but in smaller doses*
- sleep well *I hope*
- meditate
- pick up Roo on the way to work
- continue renovating the Apothecary and word a poster for it
- eat lunch late-ish
- go to gym with Roo *hope it is what we like and want*
- drop her off
- eat dinner
- shower from the gym
- sleep some more
Thursday:
- clean those DAMNABLE hall closets if it kills me!
The homefront is friendly... still uncertain I think... but too busy worrying about other things in life right now. That might be my problem. I have too much in my life going on... work #1, work #2, teaching 2-3 levels of classes, bills that are freaking scary.... and I am not necessarily doing the things I really want to. More on that some other day... maybe.... Busy week ahead of me.
You MUST all come see the store! WOW!
Now I have to decide what we will put the blended dry-stuffs into... and come up with an apropriate explanation poster. Oy. I will be thinking on it overnight and hopefully be inspired by the morning.
And Roo and I get to check out the new gym tomorrow! YAY! I need to find some gym-like clothing and at least the cheep $2 sneakers I have somewhere.
By the way... just finished watching the movie The Notebook. It is a tragic love story. It was very good. I watched it alone and loved it. I walked to the videostore in the mild evening air and returned the other movie and then picked this one. There are like 10 movies I want to see... I flipped a coin... several times to choose. 9 more to go... Maybe I will get another on Thursday as a break from the house cleaning. Hmmm.. ya.
The plan:
- long hot shower tonight to wash off the renovations... oh and the Amber Much I got all over myself today. *smells great... but in smaller doses*
- sleep well *I hope*
- meditate
- pick up Roo on the way to work
- continue renovating the Apothecary and word a poster for it
- eat lunch late-ish
- go to gym with Roo *hope it is what we like and want*
- drop her off
- eat dinner
- shower from the gym
- sleep some more
Thursday:
- clean those DAMNABLE hall closets if it kills me!
The homefront is friendly... still uncertain I think... but too busy worrying about other things in life right now. That might be my problem. I have too much in my life going on... work #1, work #2, teaching 2-3 levels of classes, bills that are freaking scary.... and I am not necessarily doing the things I really want to. More on that some other day... maybe.... Busy week ahead of me.
Death & Renovations
Yesterday... it happened? Damn. These store renovations are really starting to look amazing. I mean AMAZING!!!The colours, the moldings, the incredible displays... *beams with pride*
Let it go on the record though that I truly think it is a bad idea for us to be open at the same time as we renovate. The reason? Yesterday nerves and patience were wearing too thin and the moods and attitudes of people are not at all what the public should even be remotely experiencing. Not that anyone deserves it. But I know we are all cramming hard to get this done in 3 day if it kills us.
I had to leave by 5:30pm just to make sure I did not lose my own patience for something stupid. I felt my own begin to fray. It was time to go. Especially if I had to be pleasant to customers the next day. I got home and my mood was fast souring from the day and exhaustion... the emotional kind from life stuff and the physical kind from the renovations. I told M-SB that I am not social today and to please avoid me during the renovation. I do not want to tear him apart for nothing. I checked email, made a coffee and sat to watch Dark Angel. I did not even want to chat or go into my online game. Those would mean interacting with other humans... and I felt that that would be such a bad bad thing.
Today... I hope it is better. I was not woken this morning. And while I missed it, I am glad for the undisturbed sleep. Thank you. I now have an hour and a half before I pick up Roo and we both head in for work and renovations. I will spend some time in my meditation space. I hope the day goes smoothly and no one feels like killing each other.
Did I say the renovations look amazing? Hehe. They really do. Thanks to the hard work of some incredible volunteers: Hobbes, Fabby, Karine, WinterWolf, Magpie, M-SB, Mylene, Craig... and I am sure I missed a few. *HUGS*
Let it go on the record though that I truly think it is a bad idea for us to be open at the same time as we renovate. The reason? Yesterday nerves and patience were wearing too thin and the moods and attitudes of people are not at all what the public should even be remotely experiencing. Not that anyone deserves it. But I know we are all cramming hard to get this done in 3 day if it kills us.
I had to leave by 5:30pm just to make sure I did not lose my own patience for something stupid. I felt my own begin to fray. It was time to go. Especially if I had to be pleasant to customers the next day. I got home and my mood was fast souring from the day and exhaustion... the emotional kind from life stuff and the physical kind from the renovations. I told M-SB that I am not social today and to please avoid me during the renovation. I do not want to tear him apart for nothing. I checked email, made a coffee and sat to watch Dark Angel. I did not even want to chat or go into my online game. Those would mean interacting with other humans... and I felt that that would be such a bad bad thing.
Today... I hope it is better. I was not woken this morning. And while I missed it, I am glad for the undisturbed sleep. Thank you. I now have an hour and a half before I pick up Roo and we both head in for work and renovations. I will spend some time in my meditation space. I hope the day goes smoothly and no one feels like killing each other.
Did I say the renovations look amazing? Hehe. They really do. Thanks to the hard work of some incredible volunteers: Hobbes, Fabby, Karine, WinterWolf, Magpie, M-SB, Mylene, Craig... and I am sure I missed a few. *HUGS*
Monday, April 04, 2005
Dim Sum and Renovations
I love doing Dim Sum. we went out there with a couple of friends. It was ok. I was tired. I would have had more fun had the week not been what it was. I know he is trying. And he even came with me to the renovations. It was almost like old times when we did stuff together. I wanted to smile. I tried. But it just didn't feel the same, nor right.
I wanted to be excited about everything. And part of me is... and part of me is grateful for the help. And part of me....
Well, we later watched the movie Two Brothers. We laughed a bit... like two friends. Friends. Are we?
I want to be happy.
I wish I were.
I wanted to be excited about everything. And part of me is... and part of me is grateful for the help. And part of me....
Well, we later watched the movie Two Brothers. We laughed a bit... like two friends. Friends. Are we?
I want to be happy.
I wish I were.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Awkwardness
The past two days have felt very awkward. Pained for hurting him. Pained for so much dissatisfaction with my home life as it is. Wanting so badly to change. We have been so... distant for so long. Together... and yet not really. He has silently supported me with little complaint and I shpuld be amazed and overcome with love. Yet all I have felt was stagnation. I have something amazing that few people have, something that people almost dream about. So why am I still miserable?
We are talking. But we are not healed.
I still have feelings of wanting to just... be on my own.
Will time heal all wounds? Will we grow closer now that we have exploded/imploded? Do we just need time apart? Or do we need more time together? I don't know. I am not sure what or how I feel anymore. We will try, I think... to be together. Will my heart heal from it and want to be there or still want to run and be alone? One day at a time, I guess, and see.
We are talking. But we are not healed.
I still have feelings of wanting to just... be on my own.
Will time heal all wounds? Will we grow closer now that we have exploded/imploded? Do we just need time apart? Or do we need more time together? I don't know. I am not sure what or how I feel anymore. We will try, I think... to be together. Will my heart heal from it and want to be there or still want to run and be alone? One day at a time, I guess, and see.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Dear Gods...
I made my meditation space. I hope some peace, wisdom and/or insight can be gained through my time with you in it.
Now what?
I don't know. I dropped a bomb on my relationship. Now to pick up the pieces and figure out what to do next.
Talked... cried... meditated... read... slept.
I am not great social company right now. I am so very sorry to everyone I might have hurt and especially the important few who I hurt most by this.
Talked... cried... meditated... read... slept.
I am not great social company right now. I am so very sorry to everyone I might have hurt and especially the important few who I hurt most by this.
