<$BlogRSDUrl$>

Friday, December 30, 2005

One of the BEST days I have had in a LONG time 

Today, I was asked if I wanted to go spent time with Autumn and baby Liam. I promptly called Mom and said I would be over Saturday. Friday was spent playing with Liam, relaxing and reading (and napping), listening to music, drinking tea, chatting about everything under the sun with Autumn, eating Manzo's subs (OMGs MMmmmMmmm), and watching Sense & Sensibility. I was a non-productive, relaxing, AMAZING day. Liam is such a cutie. Wow has he ever grown!

Thank you for having me over. This was very good. I so needed a "down and relaxing" day.

Tomorrow I run off to Melange to get stones for the New Year's Eve coven party, along with check out yet MORE new books. My wishlist will SO be added to. I also need to get nice bananas for my dessert plan ... oh... and drinks. Then off to parents' place to do all the stuff I didn't do. And hopefully be back in time for 7pm when coven show up.

Right now... it is a Dark Moon. The candle I prepared for dark works last Friday... well... at 12:30pm it gets lit with intention. May the Morrigan deal with this bit of trouble in whatever creative way she sees fit. So mote it be!

Slow Start to the Day 

Here is a post to an elist I wrote... I repost it here as a personal reminder.

---
Hey all, Melange just got a huge shipment of NEW books. YAY! And among themis that book someone mentioned: "The Body Sacred". It really does lookinteresting. There are some other really interesting titles:
- EcoShamanism
- Pagan Spirituality (by Higgenbothams)
- Pagan Visions
- Faery Folk (by Ted Andrews)
and a few others that I cannot remember the exact titles of. But these oneslook real good. Body Beautiful seems to be about looking upon the bosy assacred no matter how it looks, seeing the divine beauty in it no matter whatstage of life you are in. Faery Folk talks about connecting with not justfaery but elementals too, beings of different elemental realms. PaganSpirituality is a fresh look at what Paganism is, how it is practiced, notthe usual intro stuff, but more like living a Pagan spiritual life. Theother two are very academic and touching on many of the subjects that willbe addressed in the up-coming Pagan Conferences.

And so my wishlist grows.
-----

Today's schedule gets upsetted for good reasons. I will go make cookies tomorrow with Mom... and I am blind. She is right. M-SB found the recipe in the book. Instead, we are heading out to visit some friends. See you soon!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Hurley's Outing 

Well, work was super busy today. It was great! We have new books and stuff!! I think I even managed to sort out the work schedule. It is tentative till I have a firm availability from one employee at the end of January.

M-SB met me at 5pm and we wondered in the downtown malls till 6:30pm. It was kinda neat to look in shops. I haven't been mall browsing in a LONG while. There is so much neat stuff out there! Oh... Teal is the "in" colour this year. AWESOME! I love teal and it looks good on me. Unfortunately bright pink is also "in". *hork, cough, gag*

We sat at Hueley's and ordered food and drink enough to stuff us senseless. Mmmmm... it was so good! I was hoping to see a few folks. Mtl-Rick will have to get his Yule gift some other day, I guess. We sat there after eating for over an hour and decided to leave. Sorry for anyone who might have decided to stop in at 9pm. We left at 8:15pm.

On our way back we stopped in Renaubrey and I got to drool over leather journals. I have been craving and new poetry journal for some time. One of those ones is just CALLING me. I will have to buy one next week after payday.

We finished watching Battlestar Galactica season one last night. OMGs!!! IT IS SO DAMNED GOOD!!! What a cliffhanger!! M-SB is currently downloading episodes from the net to tide us over till the season 2 is on DVD.

Tomorrow, I go to my parents' place to pick of Gazette articles on Paganism. Here is the latest one that mentions Paganism. Lost limb strengthens girl's faith There have been several since the beginning of December. I will also pick up my blankets which Mom was kind enough to wash for me. AND, I will make shortbread cookies while I am there. She will be teaching me. I have all the ingredients, just not the recipe. We argued over the phone about the recipe.

ME: "I have the Five Roses cookbook, Mom, but I cannot seem to find the shortbread recipe."
MOM: "Look in the index, silly. It is there. My recipe is theirs. It is called Prize Shortbread."
ME: "I did look in the index. It is not there."
MOM: "Look again, yoo must have missed it."
ME: "Mom, I looked under cookies, cakes and desserts. It is not there."
MOM: "Try under pies or pastries"
ME: *looking* "Nope, it isn't there either."
MOM: "You are blind. It IS there. I use their recipe."
ME: "I'm telling you it is NOT in my version."
MOM: "It has to be there. I used it from that book before I gave it to you."
ME: *thinking Mom must be going senile*
MOM: "I heard that! Bring the book with you. I will show you where it is."
ME: "ok... but it isn't in there...."

The stupid things mothers and daughters argue about when they become adults.

Last note. One of my Women & Buddhism course books arrived at my parents' place. YAY!!! I can start reading ahead!

Hurley's Tonight !! 

I will be at Hurley's for food and drink and just relaxing and having fun in celebration of surviving the semester. I hope to see others there! I will be there from 7pm to about 10pm, longer if the company is good.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Reminders for Today and Tomorrow 

TODAY:

I am working. But also, I am teaching Level 1. They are a great group. I hope they are ready after their holiday break.

TOMORROW:
7pm till we get tired - HURLEY'S
I will be at Hurley's for food and drink and company. I promised myself this for surviving the semester. I survived. Passed too I believe, according to the teachers, though the grades are not yet posted. I hope to see other folks there!!!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

2005 Reading List 

Last year I started a reading list to track myself. Below is my list. I will do this again this year.

January
Opening to Channel by Sanaya Roman & Duane Packer
Star Wars Galaxies: The Ruins of Dantooine by Voronica Whitney-Robinson

February
(didn’t get to start, nor finish any reading, worked on writing my Star Wars Galaxies novel)

March
(didn’t get to start, nor finish any reading, worked on writing my Star Wars Galaxies novel)

April
Gathering Blue by Lois Lowry

May
Han Solo at Star’s End by Brian Daley

June
Spiritual Mentoring by Judy Harrow
Shackle and Sword by Alanna Morland
Star Wars: Jedi Quest: The Trail of the Jedi by Jude Watson
Planet Blood I by Kim Tae-Hyung
Star Wars: Journal: Captive to Evil: Princess Leia by Jude Watson
Power Spellcraft For Life by Arin Murphy-Hiscock

July
Star Wars: Medstar I: Battle Surgeons by Michael Reaves & Steve Perry
Star Wars: Medstar II: Jedi Healer by Michael Reaves & Steve Perry
Star Wars: Boba Fett: Hunted by Elizabeth Hand
Star Wars: Jedi Quest: The Moment of Truth by Jude Watson
Cataract by Tara K. Harper
You Don’t Know Jack by John David Hickey (Hobbes) & Dylan Spevack-Willcock
Exile’s Valour by Mercedes Lackey

August
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J. K. Rowling

September
(Started several books, both recreational and work-related, but have been more focused on school reading articles)

October
Serenity by Kieth deCandido

November
Tara: Spureme Goddess by Prof. Pushpendra Kumar
Indian Buddhist IconographyIndian Buddhist Iconography by Bhattacharyya
Tantric Yoga and the Wisdom Goddesses by Dr. David, Frawley
In Praise of Tara by Martin Willson
The Cult of Tara by Stephan Beyer

December
Memoirs of a Geisha
Art of Zen by Stephan Addiss
The Religions of Tibet by Giuseppe Tucci
Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism by John Powers
Red Tara Commentary by Chagdud Khadro

BLEH! 

Bleh... *pout* I feel like CRAP! Being female sometimes is AWEFUL! My day off and I start my moontime with nasty cramps. I had PLANS! *groan*

M-SB is making eggs for me then I will take painkillers and hope to be functional so we can go out and do the things we need to do.

Little Bit More 

I almost forgot. My brother sent stuff from Vancouver. Clothes with the new Olympics 2010 logo as they will be held in Vancouver then. COOL!

I will mail his out on Thursday.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Holiday Fun 

I slept.

Dinner at my parents' was great. So was breakfast at my Nanny's and Eve dinner with M-SB's family. The underlying theme was family all around. And for the most part was warm and welcoming. This has been absent from my family for more than half my life. I wonder what made the change for this year. Or maybe I just won't wonder and just be grateful.

By the way... the portable DVD can hook up to the car AND play CD's and MP3's! The Halifax drive will be much more bearable now!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Christmas Breakfast 

Spent the morning at my Nanny's having breakfast and opening gifts. My mom and my uncle Billy bought my Nanny a spectacular new computer to replace the piece of junk that she had. Now she will be able to surf the net and "chat" with her relatives without all sorts of problems. COOL!

She bought me and M-SB an awesome good frying pan that is deep for doing stirfrying and saute-ing. WEEHEE!

I am now at my paternts' place. Opened gifts here while laundry goes. My sister and niece got us some nice Avon stuff (Goddess body powder for me) and some very nifty slinky lingerie. Hehe! Mon & Dada, AKA Santa, got us BIG muffin baking tray and supplies. I also got a subscription to that Real Simple magazine. But the piece de resistance, the gift that blew me away... I have a portable DVD player! SERIOUSLY! I am going to go try it out with my Serenity DVD while M-SB plays on his laptop. We are now waiting for laundry and dinner.

Hope everyone is having a great day!

To My Family 

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!

Polish Christmas 

Christmas Traditions in M-SB's polish family are always wonderful! We prepare dinner... everyone together doing some aspect of preparing dinner. As M-SB and I arrived early, his uncle was still napping, and his aunt was frantic trying to get the turkey one while trying to attend to the baby (new 2.25 month old Emily). So, M-SB cleaned the floors and set up the tables. I babysat. His aunt got the turkey going. His uncle (who had some the 4am baby shift joined us and set the table and drinks. Emily is SUCH a cute and quiet little thing. She is so tiny compared to Liam. I think she really liked me too. We offered to babysit once or twice to give them a break in January. *conspiring to convince M-SB... I want one* Last time I saw Emily she was only a couple weeks old. Now she can hold up her head and push herself up on her hands and smile. She loves my red and cream sweater. Well... back to family dinner. The tradition continues with babies and small children getting gifts. Emily was the only one this year. Then we do a "host exchange" where Baba (M-SB's grandmother) brings blessed host bread stuffs and we break each other's hosts and bless each other with a good new year. There were 13 adults present this year. And so the fimily grows with Emily. We would have been 15 but two were absent in the USA. After, we sit for dinner. Dinner and chatting. They make the best turkey! Never dry. I usually HATE turkey. I like theirs... still won't eat left overs... but theirs I will eat at least once. Most other turkey... I will just avoid. No offence... but I just don't usually like turkey. After dinner, we exchange gifts. Since it is a big family, we do a secret santa gift exchange. The names for this exchange are picked at the Thanks Giving dinner in October. I had M-Sb's brother. And one of M-SB's cousins had me. Many photos were taken. Once I get copies, I might post some. Emily is adorable. I don't think there was a single picture of me holding her, oh well. And M-SB didn't hold her at all. But there were some great photos from the evening. We will have to go to dinner with Baba and Djadja to get the copies later. After gifts, we sit for tea.cofee and dessert. Usually everyone is dressed very fancy. It is fun to dress fancy. This year we were all only sorta fancy. Also, every year, someone make experimental dessert. This time it was M-SB's other aunt and she made delicious coffe cake with cranberries and some other thing I cannot pronounce but M-SB had like 3 helpings! More photos and hugs and kisses and we all left a bit early. Baby needed to go to bed.

What did I come home with?

We came back with modified peroggies... there were done in egg roll skins. Still yummy. We also come home with more DVD's than we thought possible! My secret santa gave me Samurai 7 DVD #1 and Serenity!!! So Saturday's DVD's and this evening's DVD's came off my amazon wishlist. Also, M-SB got the Serenity soundtrack. So I took that off my wishlist too! M-SB got a ton of other DVD's but they were not on my wishlist.

Time for bed now. Need to get up early to go to my Nanny's for breakfast and gifts there.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Saturday Surprises 

Not all surprises are good. This morning I had almost no water from the bathtub faucets. I had tyo fricken sponge bathe. *GRRR* I will grab a "real" shower at my mom's tomorrow. I can't WAIT to move.

But then, there are also good surprises. The day was dead at work. I certainly did not need to be there. So by 1pm, I left. I ran into Rick! Montreal Rick, as Ottawa Rick is on some beach in California with family at the moment. I love when Rick comes by. He says the BEST things to lift one's mood. OH! And he gives the BEST hugs!! Anyways, him and Dimitri stopped in and almost missed me. I was on my way out. They had gifts for me! *SURPRISE!* Thank you! The new Battlestar Gallactica miniseries from Rick and the first season from Dimitri. Dimitri was thanking me for all the help I had given throughout this tough set of transitions at the store. I didn't know what to say. Yes, it was hard work on both of us to manage when we had no training as managers. I think we did remarkably well. I really did not expect anything. I didn't think I had done anything "special". I just... well, worked. The hard part was working all the hours I did with the MA courses. But I didn't think I did anything major in the store. The gift really surprised me. Thank you Dimitri... and you are welcome. It has been an honour to work alongside you and to share the challeneges. I am glad it all worked out and we learned alot.

My little gecko got a surprise of crickets today and she is mighty happy!

Now I am packing up to head to M-SB's family for dinner and gift exchange. Usually I bring something fun to kinda occupy me since the "kids" usually play videogames... which I don't. But, I have no books to read, no homework, no research on hand, and no novel prepped to work on writing. I feel a bit lost and awkward. I *NEED* something to do there.

Friday, December 23, 2005

pyjama day 

How odd. I spent the whole day in my pj's doing zip but lazing about watching DS-9. I prefer to be busy. But I know I need downtime in order to be busy. One or two down days and I will be recharged. Unfortunately I don't have that. I have just today... till next week.

Tomorrow I work till 3pm, bring home crickets, and off to dinner with M-SB's mother's family. Sunday 10am we head to see my Nanny for breakfast, then pack laundry and head to my mom's to do laundry, bake mincemeat pie, and have dinner. Presents all weekend. Then working Monday.

So, I have today off.

Then I have Tuesday off. Another planned "do nothing" ish day. I will probably clean house that day because it is driving me INSANE!

OOooo... Then work Wednesday and Thursday... but Thursday is HURLEY'S! Everyone is invited. I am going to be there for food and drink and company. I hope there will be company. With luck, I will have my grades too to celebrat. I hope they are worth celebrating.

Rice Guessing 

I bought a bag of "Premium Sweet Rice"... for its look. It was one of the ingerdients in the rice/flax/barly/lentle decorative jars I made. So I was looking at the 1/2 a bag I still had and wondered what it tased like. I searched the whole damned bag, but no instructions. I looked at the other bags of rice I had... all have different instruction from steam to let sit 10min to let sit overnight to boil for 10 or for 45 minutes. Great. Guessing time. I filled a pot 3.4 full and boiled the water. Poured in 1.5 cups of the rice and let it bubble for 10 min. Then let it sit for 10 or 20 min. It looks like sticky rice. It almost tases like it. But it too mushy like pasta left to boil too long. I tasted it alone. Ok... ish. I took some forkfuls and added garlic butter. BLEH! Did the same with normal butter. Bleh... but not as bad. Tried with a dash of salt. Meh. Tried with a drop of soy sauce. Meh. The rice is slightly sweet. All these were icky. Then I had an idea. I put some in a bowl and added some brown sugar and milk. YUM! It will likely be cood in pudding or custard. Or with cream. AHA! It will likely work nicely steamed in grape leaves or something too. But obviously it is meant to be sweet and not salty.

It was still made with too much water, but then... I had to guess. I will have more later for dessert. OOOooooOOooo.... New Year's Eve! I will make some for dessert then too. M-SB does not like it. So, I will make some other stuff too for dessert.

Dark Moon Magic 

Today is the Dark Moon. It is not festive what needs to be done, but it needs doing. Tonight I light my Shield candle. This is the third time it has been lit. First was to bless it for its task. Second was to deal with a long term problem in one of my environments which was ruining the lives of many people. And now this evening to protect young women from a sexual predator using the Craft as his way to get to them.

Every religion has its religious abusers. Every community has its perverted people. Every society has its predators. May the Morrigan deal with this one as she sees fit.

May the young girls have a blessed Yule and heal from any trauma they might already have experienced, or be protected from anything further. So Mote It Be!

More Yule Fun! 

So, I finished my paper, AT FREAKING LAST, and got it handed in on time. While I was madly typing on the laptop at the store, Nathalie M placed a gift for me on the table "for when I was done". I finished the main bulk of the paper and as I readied to write the conclusion, I could stand seeing it no longer and opened it! It was a nice simple black leather CD case that held 8 burned copies of Chris De Burgh CD's. YAY! I love Chris De Burgh. In my other relationship, I had a bunch of the CD's... but they vanished in the split. So... YAY! new CD's!! Thank you Nathalie.

I brought home my Zen Cards. as my Yule gift to me. At $23.95, I thought that was reasonable for a gift for me by me. But after that and paying bills, I did not have much left. So... my brother will have to wait till after next pay when I will mail out something for him. I managed to get my Niece her gift. Every is gotten for. There is one last gift I wanted to get M-SB, but that too has to wait. I had just enough to pick up the small laminations we did and get dinner for M-SB's b-day. Manzo's pizza and subs. MMmmMMmmm.

We got some cards in the mail from family. Thank you. And I got a magazine called "Real Simple". I set it aside to read in bed. It was sent in my name as though I had a subscription. But... I don't. Do I? The magazine has some neat articles, but is mostly advertizing. The website... is very cool!

We relit our Yule candle on the altar and opened our stockings and gifts. Yes, we fill stockings for each other every Yule. I Got DS-9 Season 1. WOOHOO! Guess what we watched while eating? Guess what we did MOST of the night? Hehe!. Thank you love!

This has been a great Yule so far. Hope it will be so for everyone.

Today... I got to SLEEP IN! Blessed YULE! I slept in!
Later after liesurely eating and tidying, we will head out to get gas in the car and crickets for the gecko. And I think we will be going to Airea's for a Serenity viewing. I need to confirm this.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

DONE 

DONE!!!!!!!

I am finally done! The paper is IN! I am FINISHED!!!

Off to eat dinner with M-SB for his b-day and then open Yule gifts! YAY!

dying 

1:00am

I am SOOOOoooo dying. I just finished the edits. Now I have to start writing the remainder.

I am SOOOOoooOOOoooo tired.

I give up... for the night. I will take it with me tomorrow and work on it on my offtime from work. Maybe manage to get edits for the remainder once I write it. There are lots of people in the store working, so I should be able to step off the floor if it is quiet enough and do this paper. I emailed my teacher to let her know not to expect it in the morning, but in either the evening or Friday morning.

:(

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Blessed Yule 

This is the longest night of the year... and BOY DO I FEEL IT!!! We here in this house have our joint Yule candle burning. I want to wish everyone a Blessed Yule, safe and warm. And og course good wishes for the coming year.

This Yule evening is a dark night. It is supposedly going to get darker any minute. Hydro is shutting off from 11:30pm - 3:30am for maintenance or something. ARGH! I need to write a paper! M-SB set up his laptop. No internet. But it has a battery... so I can keep working on my paper.

Migraine from hell. Took drugs, wishing they would kick in.

I have 5 pages 1500words left to write. Debra edited my paper today and made it sound academic. Thank you! Now I hope the rest of what I write matches!! It is due tomorrow. GODS! If it is quiet, I might leave early and finish the paper after if I cannot finish tonight. I aim to try to be done tonight. One last section then my conclusion. My brain is SO NOT screwed in place properly! It will be all over tomorrow. The teacher is cool about me handing it in tomorrow. Now I just need to be done.

singing off into the darkness to come,
holding a candle to light my way
till the break of day.

UGH! 

I got to bed at 12:30am ish... M-SB woke me for a goodnight kiss. I do not mind...but then I was awake till 2 or 3am. UGH! I woke again at 7am thinking I forgot to set my alarm and it must be 9:40am!! It was only 7am. UGH! Checked the alarm. It was fine. Tried to sleep till 9am but was just... groggy and not resting around 8am. UGH!

Got up out of bed at 9am feeling sore and crabby. UGH!

I work 11 hrs today. I am too run down for this. What the hell was I thinking when I scheduled myself for this. Was I stupid or something?! UGH!

My teacher emailed me wondering when I would be getting my paper to her. UGH! I told her tomorrow. UGH! I better be done tonight.

More Progress 

Well got to 1800 words before leaving for work.

Work was QUIET! oops... *shhhhh quiet* Almost heard the crickets in the pet store down the road! I got all the book inventory done. What will I do tomorrow? Doh! Maybe tomorrow will be very busy. I got a stupid herb splinter on the roof of my mouth while eating dinner. It stings. I can't make it go away. Tried EVERYTHING! *annoyed* AND... and to boot, my non-tooth is aching... still. Dentist is away till January. I have a follow-up appointment scheduled first thing, thankfully. I am also thinking I am having serious brain farts over numbers today. I cannot remember really important one. Or rather I think I am but then for some reason they are not working. *self-doubting and second-guessing self* It will all get sorted. It is probably just me not thinking clearly. Good thing someone counts cash with me! The accountant would never forgive me if I showed such bad number working there.

Home again and fed. The nibble of rice and carrots at work were REALLY not enough dinner. I made spegghettini and cheese. I also have extra for tomorrow. Good thing, I will be there for 11hrs!

I am back at the paper. ANd am currently 1/2 down page 9... YAY!!! The wordcount is 2504. I have completed the Analysis section of the assigned questions. Now about to tackle the final set of assigned questions on Presentation. The Energy Drink I am having at the moment is a miracle drug. I wanted to be done the paper today... but that will not happen. I am much closer to done though! I have passed the 1/2 way mark! 1500 words to go! That is about 5 more pages. I wonder if I can squeeze 2-3 pages out of the Presentation section.... hmmm.... My conclusion has to be at least a page, maybe 2. I can do this. I CAN DO THIS! Just not by tomorrow morning. I need to sleep on this next section. Plan it in my mind...yes... I work in my sleep... do lots of planning in the astral and dreamworld. Good papers have a little divine touch... or so I hope.

Apparently I did well in my Tibet class. I don't have the grade yet, but the teacher said that we all did well. *eager to see*

Well, I am off to sleep. Need rest before 11hrs work followed by more paper.
I want to be done Thursday.

To those working magic for me to get through this... THANK YOU!!!!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

AHA! Progress! 

I wrote 3 pages and cleared the furst hurdle of the assigned questions. I have 1622 words. 2378 words to go and two more sets of assigned questions, plus conclusion. I am on Page 6 of 15.

I still feel nauseous. Too much milk, too much chocolate, too much stuff my tasebud love but my tummy does not. The nausea is only mild. I will go have breakfast and try to change what my tummy has in it.

Then back to the paper. I have till 2:15pm to get this done. I could probably take another day... but I work 11 hrs tomorrow. Gonna do my best. I HAVE to be done this week, preferably today.

*grumble... blrggh... bleh* 

tired

wierd dreams

starting to have a cold

tummy bleh from too much milk

tired

Monday, December 19, 2005

eggnog 

Mmmmmm... made some eggnog. I can't drink much because my tummy doesn't appreciate that much milk, but I shared it with M-SB who loved it.

Paper is sorta coming. Dragging but I have more notes. I hope to get to some writing tonight, then some sleep then mad writing tomorrow. I want to be rid of this tomorrow.

I do not expect great marks. I just hope I have a B in both classes.

Progress Report 

Nil

Actually not really. I have got a bunch of incoherent scribbled notes. I am struggling to figure out how to put them into words... not just words but enough words. I can answer the required assignment questions in a few concise paragraphs. But I have to have 15 pages (4000 words).

Spent a bit of time being all excited about going to the Pagan Conferences in Toronto and especially Halifax. Did I mention I seem to have family there? This still freaks me out.

Had a momentary crisis over gift plans for Christmas and might have suggested something to M-SB's sister to get for him that is also on my wish list... that M-SB might have gotten for me. DOH! It was a bit of skittering and well I have a vague idea of what I might have from him. Some sort of DVD. I had to call his sister back and suggest something other stuff to her that were not DVD's to be sure we did not end up with two by accident. All good! Problem solved.

Just finished a late dinner and discussed what we'll do for M-SB's true B-day on Thursday. The plan so far... Pick him up, pick up crickets for a hungry gecko, visit Autumn to drop off some stuff to her, pick up Manzo's subs (GODS!!! THE BEST SUBS!!! I soooooooo look forward to living close to them again!), home again to open gifts and eat. He has not requested anything else.

Back to the paper and thinking of sucking back my second Energy drink and sending M-SB out for more.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Holiday Fun and Future Plans 

ok... today was... I don't have words for it.

I wrote 3/4 of a page on my paper before the coven meeting. Air was REALLY present at that meeting with all the laughter going on!!! Did the cooking of the carrots for the Store Staff Yule while the coven meeting went on.

After coven, I stared uselessly at the paper for a bit then went ot cook the rice. Packed up, dressed nice and off I went!

Store Staff Yule was amazing. We ate great food that we all worked on making. Thank you all so much for chipping in for a fantastic potluck meal. We had a blast sharing stories. I am in the Gazette again! Wendy brought the clipping to me of the article about pets in stores. There is just my name and picture with the cats. I am surprised my Mom has not called me about it yet. Anyways, we exchanged gifts and guessed at our Secret Santas. Thanks Gordon!!!! Bast is lovely! She is one the little shelf now next to my altar... she is beside Council of Wolves. And thank you Catherine for the wonderful bag. I absolutely adore hand-made things. And pouches in my home are ever needed. Yours will be dedicated to the Japanese incense. We had dessers, also delicious and chatted more. As we packed up and squashed things into the fridge, we were glad to note that Monday and Tuesday... staff will have lunches! COOL!

More Yule fun. THANK YOU ERI!!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!! I really need extra time to work on my paper. She offered to work my afternoon shift tomorrow. So I can come home and work on my paper! THANK YOU!

And now I have other fun future plans to work into my life. These ones are good for the store, CMS and my MA studies. I will be going to two Pagan conferences this spring.

Toronto Pagan Conference : March 3-6, 2006 Toronto

Canadian National Pagan Conference (GaiaGathering) : May 19-22, 2006 Halifax

I am so excited! I have great plans for 2006!!! Now if only I can get this damnable paper over with!!! Must finish for Tuesday. MUST MUST MUST! Moving the Hurley's party to Thursday the 29th... after tha paycheck. Baked Brie.... Mmmmmmm.....

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Discoveries... good and bad 

Today went ok. The class was amazing. They just so love Autumn teaching. As wediscovered in class... orange and mint make an interesting scent that smells really kinda yummy... though we were not about to drink their magical water scented this way. We mused instead of orange crush and candycanes. Laughter. Fun. Now tired.

I sent M-SB out to get me energy drinks and ... hehe... orange crush.

Discovery: good: orange crush stirred till gone with one of Airea's candycanes... was YUMMY!

Discovery: bad: after dinner... no energy to accomplish anything more... not paper, not painting... nothing. Have a growing migraine. I think I am officially burnt out and yet still have to work and do this f-ing paper.

I am going to go to bed. I have to wake early and make photocopies before coven shows.

Next semester. No more that 2 days work... better yet, one, and take only one class. Any "extra time" can go to improving CMS.... or novelty... relaxing. *takes out discionary to see if that is an existing word*

Rush rush 

OY! I got to bed around 2am and was up at 4am with Cloak playing with one to the two catnip mice that Shirley made for my cats as a Yule gift. THANKS Shirley! They LOVE them! We just can't leave them out overnight or the cats keep up up playing with them. Got up early and went to open the store. It was good seeing Brenda! Especially good seeing her in the store. I enjoyed bringing her up to speed. I hope I did not go too fat! She loves the apothecary. *GRIN* This is my favorite part of the store too.

I got home and made some yule gifties for my coven for tomorrow (i hope they like them) and set up for the class this afternoon. This will be such a fun class! Still no leyline energy sensing as they field trip place is well... buried in the MUCH snow that got dumped on us yesterday! Sigh... now I remember why I prefer doing Level 3B in the spring.

Tonight I need to wrap gifts and do some painting. Yes... painting. I have a cute idea and want to paint. I bought a couple brushes and will just ude the acrylic paints I use for CMS.

Oh... and write paper. *pout* I have not progressed since the last update. Still barely 2 pages written. i have been doing lots of thinking though! The paper started as a topic intro that flowed into an intro to the book and author. Now I will intro the ideas the author addresses. THEN I tackle Evidence, Analysis, and Presentation. That has to be the bulk. I then close by concluding with if the author proved his points in his book, conclude whether the book met the criteria needed and if I found it to be useful or not for the overall topic, and why? See? I have been doing lots of thinking. That is also an important part of writing. After class, I will get started on writing. (taking breaks to paint and wrap gifts)

Friday, December 16, 2005

Home at last! 

So M-SB and I spent 30min shoveling the car out of the tomb of snow. I dropped him off at Provigo and headed to work. Arrived there with some time to spare, and even found parking! I picked up a few things for Yule gifties. Geez, am I gonna have time to make them?

Work at the store was smooth and relatively quiet. When we left I accidentally locked my keys in the car. Grrr. I froze myself to the bone waiting for M-SB to get to me from home with the spare key. I was standing in the cold for like an hour. *brrrr*

Now I am home. Yes, hot shower is on the list. As well as planning tomorrow's class. Maybe I will be able to get a bit of writing in tonight, but I am not sure. The crutial thing is having the stuff for tomorrow ready and having myself warmed up before I end up ill. I am still shivering.

Tomorrow I have to be up early to open the store then get photocopies on my way back home and get back home in time to teach. What a hectic weekend. After both classes are done, I have paper writing to do and gifts to make for the coven. Sunday is more paper writing, coven stuff and then a store Yule Party. Shit. I need to wrap those gifts and make the add-ons AND cook for the potluck too! Busy weekend.

The week does not look any less busy:
Monday: work 11hrs then write more paper
Tuesday: write paper, hand it in, drop off libraby books, work till 9pm
Wednesday: work 11hrs
Thursday: work till 3pm, then out for personal time with M-SB (his birthday AND Yule)
Friday: last minute shopping and making and baking and wrapping
X-mas Eve: work 10am-3pm then out to M-SB's family for dinner and gifts
X-mas: to my mon's for movies, laundry, dinner and gifts
Boxing Day: breakfast with my Nanny and gifts then to work 12-6pm

Roo asked when I will be unbusy? Tuesday... the 27th. I will so have a party at Hurley's! Finished school and UNBUSY!

Thank the Gods for Hansen's 

Hansen's Energy Pro drink is my current saving grace today. I have been hording this can in the fridge for a needed time. Today seemed like a good needed time. It has given me energy to work more on the paper and allowed me a bit of focus. I really need to invest in more. This drink got me through my Honour's thesis. I can see it will be the staple to success in this MA drgree already.

I am almost done page 2 and have managed to smoothly lead into the main topic of the paper.

3:30pm EDIT: I have completed 2 pages. 13 more to go.

Tai Chi 

I want to do Tai Chi. I was investigating it for years. Found one place I think I liked. But I could not afford to go. Then tried the one offered at Concordia... but it was not to my taste. I don't want some dumbed down Western version of Tai Chi for exercise. I want the spiritual aspect, the energy aspect, the Eastern view. That is what makes finding a good place to go and a good teacher real hard.

I am open to suggestions.

grouchy snail 

That is me.

Still tired and cranky. I am apologizing now in case I am intolerable with anyone. I do not intend to be mean or rude or snappish. I am just at witts end and tired. Just stay out of my way and don't badger me for anything till the mood passes.

My paper is going slowly. I wrote another 1/2 page... still kinda in the intro phase. The analysis phase is so daunting right now. Especially with so much other stuff going on. The September - December semester should have a break in the middle like the January - May semester. Every time I am in school I think this. I think I am going to make some serious suggesting of it. The craziness of working on schoolwork around holidays and holiday work hours is psychotic!

I have food in me now, so I feel a bit more grounded. M-SB found the space shovels from the locker as there is no way of getting the one in the car trunk out.

I think I need to go back to some things I had planned a while ago. One day per week off for just ME... to do errands, meditate, and just do me stuffs. AND every 2 or 3 months take a week away. One day I hope to own a piece of land with a little cottage to run away to for whenever I just need to get away.I don't hate people. I just sometimes need to be somewhere where there are no demands on me... just long enough to recoup my reserves.

AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!! 

I hate today and it barely started. The sidewalk AND street plows plowed snow around and OVER my car. All that can be seen is the back bumper. PISS OFF!

Grrrrrrr...... yawn..... 

This makes 2 nights of poor sleep. I almost blogged at 3am and again at 5am... but was too annoyed. I tossed and turned, was too hot, then too cold, my back and every damned joint aches.

Now I know why. It snowed. Lots.

It looks very pretty outside. I will sorta enjoy it until 4pm. That is when I have to go out and shovel the car clear so I can get to work at the store. Then, oh then, I will surely hate the snow.

I am now awake, tired, and sore. I need to accomplish lots on my paper.

Our janitor was replaced this month. We received a letter he "is no longer in employ" and we have a temporary replacement. It however did not indicate who we give our rent to. So guess what, rent is still not paid. This makes me a bit of a nervous wreck. We have been paying rent in the middle of the month now for too long. I am amazed they are being patient. This has to be corrected VERY SOON. And now not knowing who to pay rent to... well... geez. Could they not tell us in the letter?

Ugh. I am stressy. Paper, work, home... ARG! Nothing in this house is as clean or organized as I need it to be. Makes me more stressy. Actually kinda makes me pissy. I cannot be here doing schoolwork, teaching and there working at the store AND cleaning the house. I am one person. I can miraculously manage 3 things at a time, kinda... and burn out some... but not 4. As soon as my paper is handed in, I will go OUT for a party. Then I am secluding myself till the house is clean. Anyone planning on interacting with me better be helping (or wait till late January) or they will die.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Tiny bit more progress 

Well, M-SB made his YUMMY meaty pasta sauce and we had pasta for dinner while watching Bulletproof Monk. I love this movie.

I was fast running out of steam though. Having slept maybe 4 hours uninterrupted, My energy and focus were nearing the crash point. I did manage to write a tiny bit more on my paper. I finished the introduction, page 1. Now I am about to tackle the book info. I need to do some historical background I think and then review the book. Then need to focus on the tough job of analizing it. I an figuring I will regard this paper like an extensive Library review of a single text for a larger paper.

Now, though... crashing. So so so very tired.

And by the way. I love my students. I enjoy seeing them enjoy their classes and growing and discovering. Thank you so much for being you.

Goodnight!
Tomorrow, I try to accomplish LOTS of paper writing before I have to work at 5pm. Then I work 5-9pm and come home to plan out Satruday's classes.

The weekend will be full of teaching and paper writing. My teacher wants the paper early next week. I am aiming for Monday... maybe Tuesday.

More Yule Fun 

I was not able to attend class last night to teach CMS Level 1. I was busy banging my head against a wall trying to do this paper. Grrr... still struggling. But I missed giving out my little Yule gifts. And I missed getting a Yule gifts.

I came into work today to the lovely surprize of a BASKET of stuff. Thank you Alison! Beer Bread was a saving grace this morning as my breakfast (can of Boost) was sour in the can. *ICK!!!* The Bread was very... different. I dislike beer, and the smell of the bread put me off a bit... well the whole idea of bread and beer. It was actually really good! M-SB doesn't like it at al. LOL. That's fine, more for me. The basket also contained home-made (i am guessing) lip balm which is amazing, a small home-made bound journal (does this mean I should pass her now on that level 2 class?), a home-made tea that smells divine (I will make it for while I do homework after dinner), a jar of spiced nuts (yummy... too bad I cannot chew stuff quite that hard, M-SB is nibbling them and passing me the softer nuts), and a winter hat that covers the ears (*smile* yes MOM, I will put something on my head since it is cold). Thank you Alison. It was a great surprize and joy to receive a gift for Yule from a student. I never expect such things, esecially from CMS. It really made my Wednesday evening to know there was a gift waiting for me, especially since the night was not going as smoothly homework-wise as I wanted it and thus was all upset and frustrated.

One week till Yule.

M-SB and I celebrate our personal time then. I get off work at 3pm and hope to go out for dinner and then exchange gifts. *smile*

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

wish list additions 

Maneki Neko... google it for the history. I must have one.

Firefox 

well... it is ok. I kinda like it. It is very similar to the e! and I can have a cute blue skin for with with a ginger cat. The only grrrr about it is that this blog looks all fucked up and I have no idea how to make it look right, nor do I have to make it look right, for Fireflox. Maybe later when I am not in the middle of stuff.

For the record... I might like the Firefox... as much as e!

update... 

Yay... chewing did not hurt. The non-tooth is finally healing tolerably! M-SB made dinner. I can eat it. Mmmm... rice, meatballs and string beans.

The homework is still going slow. I have a title page written! *groan*


EDIT *9:43pm* : OH! And most of my introduction... sorta...

Pandora's Box: Blissfully addicted 

Although this was hardly the horrific experience I thought it could be. I opened an account with Pandora for music and there was HOPE!

Check it out!

www.pandora.com

very very cool

I don't know how I ever managed before!
Thanks Scott for letting me know about this.

Plodding along @ a turtle's pace 

That is the day. Slow... but not as slow as a snail.

Got up around 11am and tidies the kitchen. M-SB went out for groceries while I cleaned up a bit. Then I did my annual backing up of the computer. Ceri convinced me to load up Mozilla's Firefox. I am uncertain what I think of this. My blog looks all fucked up on it. I haven't even braved looking at the CMS website with it. No... I am not getting rid of e! I like the e! thank you very much!!

Hobbes came over to research deities and prepare for his class. Different headspace always help with stuff like this. Thank Autumn for the use of your livingroom floor when I was doing homework! I think it helped Hobbes.

While he was here, I managed a chunk of reading and note-taking for this last paper. I still have lots more reading to do. Do I know what I am doing for my paper yet? Nope. No fucking clue.

News from Mike: on his offtime... he is BORED out of his skull. I am sending him a card to first see if it successfully reaches him. If it does, I will send him a care box... something for him and some of the people in his unit if anyone wants to chip in. He is getting care stuffs from his friend's grandmother, but she doesn't handle "entertainment". He is looking for games, books, letters, music. He likes Roman Historical fiction. But I think he would be glad to just hear from people he met. I will be tagging all the folks he roleplayed with for letters to send to him.

Time to find dinner and back to the slow slow slow reading. I feel like I am NEVER gonna get this semester over with! UGH!!!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Tying and failing 

Tried chewing again this evening. SUCCESS! Some pain... but definately doable. YAY!

Tried reading... failed. I fell sleep. Tried again later... failed. Everything was more interesting and I just had no will to do it.

Blogged about all kinds of stuff to all my blogs. Even added to the SWG blog! I logged into SWG. HOLY CRAP THINGS HAVE CHANGED!!!! I am now going through the long process of downloading the updates and patches.

Tried reading again... failed. Why is this being so daunting?!?! It is a subject I like! Japanese art, Zen principles... *grrr*

*sigh*

Failure is a word I hate but seem to feel like alot these days.
Giving up this evening.

Lucky Bastard 

My friend Max is going on a cruise in February! Lucky him!

I... STILL... have never seen the ocean with my own eyes in person.

*sigh*

improvement leads to frustration 

I get frustrated in very quiet ways. Not many notice just how frustrated I am. I wonder who I learned it from? Hmm... maybe I learned it from people who ARE screaming spitting throwing breaking things kind of people. I never want to be that way. I never want people to feel scared of me. But I do get real frustrated.

Today was an improvement from yesterday. I did not take any painkillers yesterday and felt pain only when I was outside where the cold made the non-tooth hurt. Today was even better. I did not wake aching. I rested the morning away.

M-SB took me out for Chez Cora breakfast. We used to do this monthly as our treat to US. But funds are tight now. I was inspired there. Weehee... new project to add to the Yule projects. Oh... and I experimented chewing. So far so good at that point. We then headed downtown where I could run an errand for work and catch up on news. BAST! My Bast statue arrived!!! She is SOOO pretty!!!! I must wait till the holidays are over to get her. I have other gifts to focus on first before I can get gifts for me. Then we headed to Angrignon to run errands and get some Yule gifts for family. M-SB bought himself a fiddle-toy. It is a skooshy tentacled air-filled rubber thing that does not feel like it should. You expect to feel some substance, but then when you hold it it fools your senses and it does really feel like anything it there. UCKY! I later got kicked out of the mall to wait in the car while M-SB got my Yule gift. He was going to get me a ring I thought was nice looking. But it wasn't nice enough for me to let him buy it. If he is going to buy me a ring I want wedding bands followed by a wedding. *clue-by-four hint!*

Anyways, got home and puttered about wrapping some stuff and digging out our Yule stockings. Yes, we give each other stockings of gifties. I would also do this for my friend Jen when she lived in the building as a surprise. But I don't have close friends in the building anymore. It was fun sneaking down the stairs and hooking a stocking on her apartment doorknob after midnight. *GRIN* I love this time of year. I just wish I had more money to do better and more time to make things I think and feel are meaningful. Here is a BIG hint to people... I really REALLY love things that are handmade... way more than bought things. Not that I don't like bought things and completely understand those who are not "crafty-types". But for those that are in some way... I especially love hand-made things. Guess I am silly that way.

Well the day wound down to good conversation and then... nothing else, no more errands and no more money... just... ugh... homework. I have to read the assigned book. The one I suggested did not have enough academic qualification. Oh well. It is not a recent academic study. Grrrrr...

And now my non-tooth is aching lots. Time for painkillers.
Time to crank daon and read.

I don;t have work tomorrow. THANKFULLY!!! I can keep working on this homework. If I do not finish it by Friday... I am SHAFTED! Because... all next week I am working ALOT! No time to write a paper! AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!!!!!!

DOH! 

Today's horoscope:
"It's a good day overall, but try to force yourself to work hard in the morning if possible."

DOH!

I just got up.

Monday, December 12, 2005

??? and !!! and *grrr* 

Today was... a good day at work. With less of the school stress on me I was able to enjoy the work day. Other factors are involved there. I think all staff had ... dare I say it for a work environment... fun. EEK! I said Fun and work in the same sentence! heehee. I was surprized twice today. Once by getting movie passes to Memoirs of a Geisha. Thanks!!! And once by receiving a gift from someone in the store as a thank you. I am uncertain what exactly I did to deserve it.

And of course there is not fun without some Grrrr's.

Memoirs of a Geisha was good! Not many Japanese actors for a Japanese story. But they did a lovely performance. They did however gloss over so many of the finer points of the story and rewrite some key moments that made it a bit unrecognizable from the book. But still a good movie. I liked the book better... but still must own the film... when it comes available.

Grrrrr.... Grumble... stepped on toes.... owie non-tooth (it had been fine all day!)... and dammit... I have to do the book I was assigned. PHOUIE!

Tomorrow I get back to the usual grind. More homework. Reading... then analyzing... then writing... 4000 words. I think that is like 13-15 pages.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Feedback on Living Space 

So... it is confirmed. We can have the place that was suggested to us. YOUPPIE!!! Now... we can move in one month after the people move out. I am so starting work that they find the right place for them ASAP and move into is like sometime May. That was we can renovate in June and move in July.

I am very excited. So excited that it hit me now and I am awake!

Something happened somewhere.
Something went click and fell into place.
I wonder what and why and when.
I hope it will be a trend.

Secret Santa among friends 

What an amazing afternoon and evening!!

We successfully surprised two special guys and honoured them well. I am glad neither cried, or I would not have been able to keep my tears in. Thank you guys... for all that you do! It was a great ritual.

Gift exchanges were fantastic! I had so much fun getting for my person. Funny thing... I had her and she had me! We stared with a gift of about $2. She got me a little bottle of Druid Massage Cream. OOOOooooOOoooo... gonna try this tonite! *grin!* I made a bottle of various rices and lentils and barley and flax. It is decorative, but also useful if she wishes to cook it up. It will make a yummy meal for two. I had fun making the decorative layers of different shades and colours. She can ask me later for exactly what is in it. Next came the yummy treat, baked goodie. I could not make Daifuku, so I cheated and bought some for her. She made her amazing home-made marshmellows, flavored with orange and clove I think. MMmmmmm... and soft! I can eat them!!! Yes... I am still hurting. Last was the gift of $20-30. This was fun! I gave her a set of sweets that go with Japanese Tea Ceremonies, the Book of Tea (lucked out and got it at an incredible discount), some bookplates to hold the picture of the "chasen" or Japanese tea Whisk used in the Tea Ceremony. She has a tea bowl from class we did. Now, once the whisk arrive, she will be all set! From her, I got a basket with two of my favorite Japanese incenses (Diamond Power and Joy), a small bottle of Dragon's Blood resin, a Small bottle of Eucalyptus (I have just about run out of my stash), and something I have to ask about... It is a baggy with fine fine powder. I think she said it was Japanese ashes that can be used to replace earth or salt on my altar. What kind of ashes are they? I will ask her when next I see her.

Food was delicious! Everyone brought stuff. M-SB's meatballs and Magpie's cheeses were so yummy and soft enough for me to nibble. The stew was MmmmmMmmmmm... though I could not chew the veggies. I sucked up all the broth and endured the pain to eat the meat. Mmmmmmmmmmm..... There was veggies and dip which I could not sample. *pout* Dates with marzepan in the middles. Different... interesting... yummy. Iced wine, my favourite, though I could only have two sips since I am on painkillers. *sigh* Must find out what brand that was and get some more! My apple pie was yummy too! Came home with the rest of the pie and a loaf of corn bread.

Thanks all for an awesome Yule!!

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Methods Paper 

One last paper to go. I am analyzing a book for Zen Art. The book I have is called The Art of Zen. But I found a book I like better. Wabi-Sabi by Andrews. There is a copy at Indigo. I will get it tomorrow on my way to the Yule thing. Then if I can, I will try to see my teacher Tuesday morning to discuss these two books. Maybe I can do the other one.

Well, the topic is interesting either way. I just hate analyzing things.

My goal is to have this paper done by 4pm Friday. I have Tuesday and Wednesday all day and Thursday after 3pm and friday before 4pm. I have to read the whole book and analyze it keeping certain questions in mind.

I still think the other book is better.

um... grrr? 

The day was ok. I hardly slept after the owie of yesterday. But the morning class was loads of fun with animal explorations.

Between the classes I had to rush out to the store to fix a power outage situation. For once, one of the Cafe people was very nice to us. He was not an owner. He was even concerned for our safety in the nasty bunker where the breakers were. I will have to get him a thank you card. I really appreciated his kindness. It was refreshing compared to the shit we get from the cafe owners.

Got back and conspired with Autumn, then planned a last minute itty bitty Yule ritual.

Her class went real well. I can tell they really miss her. Potions III next week is a shared class. WEEEE! I love teaching with her.

Dinner of soft pasta and croissants while watching the last of Evangelian. Wierd. I thought it was good till the last 10min of the last episode. Oh well.

Started baking. Had a social GRRR moment. Don't know how I am about it though. Slapping people is my current desire. *breathe... let it go... tomorrow is a coven Yule... let the grrr go* I am fine. I vented to the right people. Thank you. Grr ! The butter STILL will not cooperate. MOM!!! the butter has to be cooler than room tempterature, but not cold from the fridge. GRRR!!!!! Now I have to wait. *sigh*

Wrapped the gifts for tomorrow. Weehee! I can hardly wait. It was so much fun planning this one!! I hope she likes it!

The Grrr is easing. Pain makes me grrr. Yes. I still hurt. Apparently I can expect it on and off for 3 weeks. I am supposed to pamper my mouth for that time. I cannot survive on a liquid/soft diet for that long. Guess I will make sure I have LOTS of advil. It is helping now. I better not have a mean sneeze again. That would make me grrr all over again.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Crap.... owie... 

I sneezed hard. I tore what little healing was going on in my mouth. *cry*

DONE! Finished Tibet 

I finished the Tibet Paper!!!

OH!!!! And I got my T-Shirt in the mail. Soft soft coton, tan coloured with SERENITY on the back and the frint is a silouette of Mal and it says: "I aim to misbehave"! It is so comfy!!! Yes, I am wearing it now.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Grinding away, wish I had 3 solid days 

Back from work. Had food (hearty chicken-la-king from Campbell's poured over super fresh cheese bread... soft-ish and so yummy and solif in my tummy). Watched more of this anime series that M-SB borrowed from Ceri while eating. Napped for 2 hrs... which hugely improved my mood. My lack-of-tooth eased its aching at about 2pm. I did not take meds at 4pm. I was... ok. I have discovered that I ache more after sleeping. SO... it has to do with how I sleep. Guess I will use the second pillow again tonight to prop myself up a bit... and try not to sleep on that cheek.

Now, I am back to the paper. I was inspired to rework the order of some of the information. It will make the info flow better. So... that is what I am doing.I have a good outline in my head. Now... can I miraculously get it all onto the damned comuter file in time to print and deliver tomorrow? Focus... focus focus focus.

fed up 

I still hurt. This is now rediculous. I have to work AND write a paper. GRRRR!!!

I will try to get off work early if i can today. I intend to head back to the dentist and see if he can do anything.

Maybe it was that I had food I had to chew last night. Maybe it was because I did ALOT of talking yesterday. Maybe it was the way I slept.

I am officially in pain and feeling very miserable.
*cry*

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

*pissy* 

I got as far as part-way on page 4 of the paper for Tibet class. I was on a good roll. I resented having to get off to go to work. Work was a bit of a whirlwind of changes.... and still freezing. I will bring my cloak tomorrow, but for the record... it is beginning to piss me off.

Someone did a very UNETHICAL thing today. When someone goes for counselling, there is an understanding of confidentiality. That was broken today by someone in my community. I am sure it happens by a person or other in every community at some point in time or other, but this had shocking repercussions in my immediate environment. I have lost what bare smidgeon of respect I might have had for this individual. It meant I had to do much counselling after... cleaning up this person's mess... yet again! Seriously pissing me off!

I got some reading done while Hobbes taught class. But I really needed to be home writing paper. I never got a real meal into me today either. I had a can of Boost at 1pm, a slice of cheese bread at 4, a banana and some cream soda at 5... and poorly made beef terryaki that I hardly touched at 9pm. Miserable and pissy.

Paid all the monthly bills and now have nothing left. I had hoped to put a dent into the Mastercard. Damn.

Now I am home. I have a migrain from being so cold at work and having the very bright lights blaring at me and the constant ache in my mouth. Resting Tuesday allowed me to feel much better, I undid all that by working today. Thus I won't get any paper written today.

Tomorrow I have to get Yule gifts. Oh... I think I found a solution to that. I am so not sure I will manage this paper.

ARGH... rotten f-ing migraine!!!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Cry of the Snow Lion 

This is a film about the history, recent history, of Tibet. It is shocking and emotional. I was watching it because I rented it. I did not realize it was a documentary. It was among the International Films in Blockbuster.

I recommend seeing it.

Tibet: Cry of the Snow Lion

At a Snail's Pace 

This is going VERY slow. I have lost most of today resting from the damnable tooth. I will read a bit here, rest some more, research a bit there, rest some more and then write a line or two. Ugh... My tooth... or rather lack of one now... finally eased its major throbbing about an hour ago. I am now working at my paper. I am now on page 3. If i was going any slower, i would be going backwards!!!! Most of the day I lay on the bed wishing the aching would just stop. Advil helped but not enough to concentrate on the paper writing. So I read the rest of Memoirs of a Geisha. It was AMAZING!!! I am sorry I finished it. I MUST own this someday!

I wish I did not have to workthe next couple days. I really NEED the next few days for writing. *sigh*

i should think about supper... M-SB made me chicken fajitas for lunch... but that was like noon. They were soft, but chewing them made my jaw very sore. I am out of eggs so I can't make more scrambled eggs and beans. *pout* Maybe I will put on some decent-ish clothing and get some eggs from the dep across the street. I have lots of apple sauce for dessert. And Boost for tomorrow. Pasta is soft too... but I want protein. I am uncertain why I have such a fierce craving for it. Maybe it is because my body needs to replenish flesh and thus needs so badly to take in protein to do so.

I will keep folks posted on my slow paper progress. It is interesting... but slow going.

Alive... just 

I am home, awake... and just barely alive. Yesterday was such a wasted day. No productivity. In the end, I ate beans and scrambled eggs... suft and mushy. I watched a movie, then curled in bed to read... with drugs. I needed an extra pillow to keep my head higher than the rest of me otherwise I would thob with pain despite super advils, get a headache and bleed. Very annoying. I finally fell alseep exhausted at around 2am.

I slept SOLID till 9am. Took more drugs and read. Now I am up. I have to set up for my paper all over again and accomplish LOTS today or I am so fucked.

I would appreciate if folks thought good thoughts for me... like "stop aching" and "smooth inspirations".

I need proitein. I need food. I am hungry. Off I go to see about something to eat... something kinda mushy.

Monday, December 05, 2005

feeling a bit better 

I slept for a couple hours. That dealt with the dizziness, numbness and allowed my body to resettle. My teeth fit together again. My jaw aches, the hole hurts a bit, but not like before. My whole body is shivvery and feels cold. M-SB said that is because all my energy is going to a big hole in my mouth.

I need protein. He is making me scrambled eggs with maple beans. All soft. And a few slices of super fresh cheese bread. I have lots of mushy stuff to have after. But the body needs protein now. I can't take any more advil till 11pm.

I will watch a mivie while eating. Then back to my paper.

day gone with the tooth 

Well I got up at 10am. I cleaned the bedroom and laid out my books, tagging the points I need to address. I sat and wrote my introduction and had almost one page written. Well, still do. I had soup for lunch because I was cold and craved it.

at 1pm I went off to deal with the bad tooth. He told me that a root canal would be in order and since there was so much of the tooth replaced by a filling already, I would need a crown. I explained to him about how my Nanny and Mom had the same problem with the same tooth. We decided pulling it would be more economical. I was home by 3pm with a big hole with cotton gause in my mouth, a numb face, and slowly building dizziness and nausea from being a nervous wreck at the dentist. Oh... and the human stomache, at least mine, is not meant to digest human blood.

Before the freezing could wear off, M-SB went out to get me mushy food. Just got back. Removed cotton, feel dizzy and in pain, had a hard time swallowing advil with much of my face, mouth and throat numb.

The day is almost over... and I have not progressed on the paper. *CRY*

Sunday, December 04, 2005

late........ 

I crashed hard last night. I could not even read a whole chapter of Memoirs of a Geisha! I was asleep by 1:00am. However, I woke at 7 and again at 10. But did not really get up nor was I fully awake until 2:00pm! My body SOOO needed the rest. I feel much better now.

Had a very good and productive coven meeting.

Cleaned the bedroom a bit in prep for tomorrow's major paper writing.

OH! The dentist called me! I have an appointment tomorrow at 1:30pm. EXCELLENT!

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Great Yule Fair 

Let me start with ... GREAT ARTICLE! It was in the Montreal Gazette, page 3 of the FIRST section! Must call mom tomorrow and request her to save it for me. It will upset her, but she will save it. And if she doesn't, my Nanny (grandmother) will.

Dispelling the hocus-pocus

I had to wake at a gods-foresaken hour on a Saturday. Last time I woke this early on a Saturday I was 11 years old and getting up to watch the early morning anime cartoons my mom prefered me not to watch. I got to the fair and set up. Airea & Rajura bround me pastries for breakfast. THANK YOU! I bought a gift at the fair for my sister-in-law, bath product from Nathalie.

I taught a short class on Codes to the Level 3A's and then set them free to explore the fair. I went off with Alison to get some lunch and buy some personal things for myself. I got a clay chalice to add to my collection. It looks so similar to the one I have been using on my altar since 1990. My altar one got a crack in it somehow and so cannot hold liquid anymore. And you know what? This new one that looks so similar... is from the SAME artist! They are SISTERS! I also got a leather bracer, thin and decorative. Needs more holes and grommets and a leather string to tie it. It was cheap, $5... so I could not resist.

We all ... everyone at the fair... chipped in to collect money for a Yule gift for Hobbes. He received it at the ritual and was SO surprised. That was much fun... being sneaky like I was with Ottawa-Rick's B-day. Marie started it. I was just helpful! *GRIN*

Rick and Marie were able to make it to Montreal. But Rick is so very sick. He had a great time, despite being ill. I hope he gets better soon.

The ritual was excellent. The atmosphere certainly was great. It felt... like... I have a hard time putting it to words. Long ago when I started in the Pagan community and the rituals and festivals, there was this comfortable energy of social connectedness. I felt I could be open, loving, so involved... not the usual reserved me behind umpteen shields. I had not felt like that for many years.But today... today felt like that. Thank you all for a great fair and a great ritual. You all worked hard and made it such a community effort. Congrats!! And that is the first time I have seen a non-Samhain and non-fest ritual be over 80 people. WOW!

I am now home, despite folks wanting me to stay and chat over dinner. I am tired. I have used up alot of energy (healing Rick for a change... he is always healing me, it was now my turn). Now I need sleep. Tomorrow I intend to SLEEP IN! Coven in the afternoon with LOTS to do and discuss. Then I am going to CLEAN the BEDROOM. I NEED clean clear space to write a paper in. Then I power-write till it is done and I have created a chaos in the space. But I get a good paper in the end.

Well, great day! Time for bed. *yawn*
Be safe and well everyone!

Oh... and my tooth has not really hurt all day.

Friday, December 02, 2005

busy personal day 

Today I took a day off school.

i woke early-ish. I was planning on going to John Abbott to drop off ads at the Pagan clubs there, but my tooth was hurting BAD. I called my dentist and left a message, then called my mom to see if I could pay a reduced fee for the car so I can pay for a dentist. I had to wait for the dentist to call. So the outing to Abbott got cancelled.

The dentist called me back. They are doing renovations and pushed all their appointments to next week, so there is nothing available. I am on a waiting list for the first opening.

M-SB and I decided then to go eat and shop for Yule stuff. We stopped at the copy place on Sherbrooke to plastify my new poster for CMS. It looks AMAZING! And dropped into the korean grocery store for my favorite aloe juice. The headed out to Decor 76 where we always go to get anything laminated or framed. They do the best job and are the most reasonable in cost... and are a family run business where they remember your name and style.

We then wandered all over Angrignon. Picked up stuff to make some Yule gifts. Drooled over clothing. TEAL... lots of teal coloured clothes this year. YAY!!! Teal looks really good on me. Dark teal. Shame I don't have spare money for some new clothes. Back home, we stopped at provigo to get stuff for making the rest of some other Yule gifts AND my potluck food for Yule.

Once home, I snuck in some quick stitching on a secret project. Then after making dinner sat to watch anime while I made the crafty Yule gifts. AND packed and printed and packed some more all the stuff I need for tomorrow's Yule Fair and Ritual.

My tooth still is killing me.

I have yet to review the course notes for the classes I am teaching tomorrow. And I have to plan to pack some food. I also need to go to the bank and have some cash on hand for Yule gifts at the fair.

I am going to go read and take painkillers.

I have to be up and reay to head out by 8am... on a Saturday! ARGH! It will be worth it... but ARGH! I will review my notes tomorrow before the classes.

from dust and ash 

Well, Mike is alive. He was on Yahoo messenger this week. He is in Iraq and hating every moment. He is not front line... more like front of the middle. He listens to morter shelling every few hours. It is super hot in the day and cold at night. He is working 12-hrs on and 12 off every day so far unless any of the 70 helicopters show up. Then it is around the clock till it is back in the air. He is stressed. His days have blurred into one another that he didn't even know the date. And his birthday is on Sunday.

As I had to rush to work, I could not talk to him long. I did get the address to send things to him. I will send out a test letter just to make sure I manage to get something to him, then I will send out a care package.

I honestly do not understand why military guys try to push their friends away before they deploy. Another of his friends told me this is common... in case the friend decides to no longer be a friend, or chooses not to be supportive while the guy is deployed, or won't wait till the guy gets back... or worse, in case the guy gets killed out on deployment. Well, I don't shake loose so easily. I also don't scare so easily.

He does not get an opportunity to get to a computer too often. He is tired and busy. I will keep people posted as I can.

owe 

Well... i am still up. I was reading Memoirs of a Geisha. Desperately trying to distract myself. Easy... sorta, as it is such a good book. But no longer. Not that it stopped being a good book, but that i cannot distract myself.

The toothache is back.

Now I have to decide how to procede. Bills, car payment, or dentist.

I will call the dentist in the morning and hope to see him tomorrow sometime. All the bills will have to wait. This... can't. Not anymore.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

DONE DONE DONE 

I finished the last inclass class! DONE! No more classes till January. All I have now are 2 papers to write.

This evening I did my Tibetan presentation of Red Tara and the teacher commented GOOD and said I had good direction!

YAY!!!!!

Media Watch 

There is all sorts of stuff going on in the media in preparation for Saturday's Yule Fair. Tonight (PLEASE someone tape the news for me) CTV will be airing a short clip. The Gazette too at some point will have an article. AND The Montreal Mirror already does!

http://www.montrealmirror.com/2005/120105/news4.html

Great job!!

White Rabbits? 

I have been saying white rabbits x 3 for October 1st, December 1st and January 1st for a number of years... when I don't forget. Today I sorta found out why. I picked it up from Ceri and Autumn I don't know why they do it. There is definately an interesting story behind that which will need telling someday.

I thought it should only be done October, December and January. I was incorrect. It is supposed to be said the 1st of every month... if you remember. To do so will bring a surprise gift sometime in that month. Cool! I did this in October and later in October, my students all surprised me at Yule with nummy gifts!

I will have to keep it in mind for future. I feel silly now for saying this morning. December is a month full of surprise gift! I complained about this to M-SB and he said that it means there will be a surprise gift above and beyond the usual this month... that the white rabbits mean that the surprise gift is something unexpected and outside the normal gift giving. Hm.

*SHRUG*

Just getting a B in each class would be nice and one hell of an unexpected surprise.

shifting 

Lots of frustrations... in ALL aspects of the day. I managed some homework in the morning before work and none obviously during work, nor during class, nor after. It was one of those days... weeks. Maybe it was just because I was PMSing that the day seemed frustrating. Maybe because I just wanted to be home working on my presentation for tonight's class.
FRUSTRATING!

Today, my cycle shifted from its usual mid-waning moon to dark moon. Today I am cramped and headachy and in absolutely NO mood to deal with a single external frustration. There is a reason women call this moontime and downtime. We should get the week off to just rest.

Oh well. Not going to happen. I have to work then miraculously pull together an impressive presentation for tonight. Thank gods I only work till noon. that will give me 5 more hours to prepare. I need to impress this teacher. I want to be his TA next term.

Gods I feel like shit, please help me through these next few hours work.
"white rabbits white rabbits white rabbits"
Maybe that will help.
M-SB said it this morning. Today is December 1st. I don't know/remember why we have this tradition. I said it at 8am as I got up. For a lucky Dec. 1st day. I hope for a pleasant shift.

Time for advil and to get to work.