Sunday, November 30, 2008
*pout*
My teeth hurt.
I have lost a filling and have 2 cavities that need tending.
At this moment. They ALL hurt and I want to die.
I have lost a filling and have 2 cavities that need tending.
At this moment. They ALL hurt and I want to die.
Failure
Many years ago, during my second degree initiation, I was challenged by Fire and asked what it is that I fear. There were two things I feared.
The larger was fear itself. Fear is the mindkiller. I feared being paralyzed into inaction by fear. I usually work through fears... to avoid being the deer in headlights.
The other was failure. I have failed. And there is no foreseeable way to resolve it. There is no recouping. I cannot change it. The energy I have been trying to put into it has been exhausting and stressing me. I have been given no other choice but to give up... accept it... let it go. I don't know what else to do. If everything else stopped, I have nothing to stand on. I don't want to let it go. Even though I have often considered giving up, now that I have to, I realize I have failed.
What am I now? What do I do now?
Don't answer that...
The larger was fear itself. Fear is the mindkiller. I feared being paralyzed into inaction by fear. I usually work through fears... to avoid being the deer in headlights.
The other was failure. I have failed. And there is no foreseeable way to resolve it. There is no recouping. I cannot change it. The energy I have been trying to put into it has been exhausting and stressing me. I have been given no other choice but to give up... accept it... let it go. I don't know what else to do. If everything else stopped, I have nothing to stand on. I don't want to let it go. Even though I have often considered giving up, now that I have to, I realize I have failed.
What am I now? What do I do now?
Don't answer that...
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Blur
The week has been kind of a blur. Wednesday I worked and taught. My new little heaters are lovely. Thursday, I had an aura and chakra cleansing class to teach. That went better than expected. Yesterday, I cramped so bad I fainted. Thank gods I was at home.
The house got a bit more cleaned. I set up a coven box in the livingroom. I want to go to Ikea to get a ritual box. I don't quite have enough money for it though. Not yet. Curtains got washed (accidentally shrunk the heavy drapes in the dryer... oops). Also moved some books and stuff to the hall shelving unit.
Level 2 class was wonderful. I love this group! I look forward to seeing them in Level 3.
I slept badly last night as I was still cramping. Woke every 2 hours.
The husband is sick, poor love. We are heading out to get more orange juice. Also planning on checking out a furniture rental place to see what the fees are for something like a new mattress or a new sofa or both. Then I have to plan the sewing projects for the Yule Fair. I have like only today and Monday to prepare thing. I'll be going to my mom's on Monday for that.
Tonight, a staffer is teaching a staff workshop on stones. I look forward to hearing her take on things. Then I am overnighting at a friend's place. So... have a great weekend everyone!
The house got a bit more cleaned. I set up a coven box in the livingroom. I want to go to Ikea to get a ritual box. I don't quite have enough money for it though. Not yet. Curtains got washed (accidentally shrunk the heavy drapes in the dryer... oops). Also moved some books and stuff to the hall shelving unit.
Level 2 class was wonderful. I love this group! I look forward to seeing them in Level 3.
I slept badly last night as I was still cramping. Woke every 2 hours.
The husband is sick, poor love. We are heading out to get more orange juice. Also planning on checking out a furniture rental place to see what the fees are for something like a new mattress or a new sofa or both. Then I have to plan the sewing projects for the Yule Fair. I have like only today and Monday to prepare thing. I'll be going to my mom's on Monday for that.
Tonight, a staffer is teaching a staff workshop on stones. I look forward to hearing her take on things. Then I am overnighting at a friend's place. So... have a great weekend everyone!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Nothing new
*move along... nothing to see here*
*these are not the droids you are looking for*
*these are not the droids you are looking for*
Monday, November 24, 2008
What I did...
I planned my coming classes this week.
Made some rice for lunch for today and tomorrow.
And washed dishes.
I cleaned the sofa and livingroom side tables, and gave the lizards fresh water.
I made fun tea in a fun tea set and watched a couple movies.
24: Retibution was ok... I lacked understanding who the main characters were. Maybe I needed to have seen the TV series of "24". Also, the ending wasn't quite an ending. It just sort of stopped. It felt like they stopped the movie with still 15minutes to tie up the loose ends. That annoyed me a great deal.
Taken was a good movie. I like Liam Neeson. He's getting old and it is showing, but he is still a great actor.
What else? Oh ya! I managed to get that small chapter of my fanfic done that I have been struggling with. It is done and posted. So... assassinations are done and the secret societies have all received their news.... bad as it is. Azula has taken Ba Sing Se. But then, we all knew that. Now is the REALLY hard part. I have to write the battle scene at the end of Crossroads of Destiny. This wouldn't be so hard if I didn't have to sneak in the tidbits that keyed it into my own plotlines. I want to show everyone what is going on in all the characters' heads. That chapter will be written later I think.
Right now, work more on some other projects: Ritual Research and CMS level 2 second trimester teacher's manual.
Made some rice for lunch for today and tomorrow.
And washed dishes.
I cleaned the sofa and livingroom side tables, and gave the lizards fresh water.
I made fun tea in a fun tea set and watched a couple movies.
24: Retibution was ok... I lacked understanding who the main characters were. Maybe I needed to have seen the TV series of "24". Also, the ending wasn't quite an ending. It just sort of stopped. It felt like they stopped the movie with still 15minutes to tie up the loose ends. That annoyed me a great deal.
Taken was a good movie. I like Liam Neeson. He's getting old and it is showing, but he is still a great actor.
What else? Oh ya! I managed to get that small chapter of my fanfic done that I have been struggling with. It is done and posted. So... assassinations are done and the secret societies have all received their news.... bad as it is. Azula has taken Ba Sing Se. But then, we all knew that. Now is the REALLY hard part. I have to write the battle scene at the end of Crossroads of Destiny. This wouldn't be so hard if I didn't have to sneak in the tidbits that keyed it into my own plotlines. I want to show everyone what is going on in all the characters' heads. That chapter will be written later I think.
Right now, work more on some other projects: Ritual Research and CMS level 2 second trimester teacher's manual.
Brief Synopsis
We went to the wonderful tea house. Must go again... must must must. It was like a great double-date. Eri met us there and we all hiked through the deep-freeze outside to Chinatown where we ate dinner at Pho Vietnam. It was decent food. Another hike through freezing cold to the concert. It was in an old dungeon of a place that reminded me of a place I used to vampire LARP at in the early 1990's. There were no chairs. It kinda sucked as far as locations went. The concert itself was great. Elsiane seemed a bit tired and was a bit less dramatic on stage, but her basist made up for it. He was hot to watch as he bobbed his hatted head and grooved to the music as he played. Concerts should not star so late. This one was scheduled to start at 9pm. It stared closer to 10pm with the opening act. We got out a bit after 1:00am. Home by 2:00pm was brutal. We crawled into bed and collapsed.
Sunday was an early rise for coven. That was SO HARD after the late night. We had a great meeting though. Lots of interesting questions to consider. We came home to more ritual research.
Today is my day off.
I slept in. Now I will plan the week's classes and clean house a bit. Then I think I will write another fanfic chapter. Just chillin and relaxin today.
Sunday was an early rise for coven. That was SO HARD after the late night. We had a great meeting though. Lots of interesting questions to consider. We came home to more ritual research.
Today is my day off.
I slept in. Now I will plan the week's classes and clean house a bit. Then I think I will write another fanfic chapter. Just chillin and relaxin today.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Ritually Exhausted
Yesterday was a good day. I actually got sleep. When I woke, I had the joy of knowing the husband was going to be home for the day. We ran some errands, bugs for the lizards, food, cleaning supplies, and heaters. He and I and the cleaning woman tackled a good deal. I then took said heaters to the store for class. The Level 2 students watched a movie: NightWatch. Interesting and different. The heaters helped ALOT in the classroom. I brought them home because they are also needed here too. My office is chilly due to it being on the top floor in a corner where the wind likes to hit it alot. BRRRRR!
In the evening, I started the ritual research for my BOS.
Today has thus far been wholly in ritual for the last few hours. I am taking a break to recoup some energy. Researching, ritual focus, and much writing and cross referencing. I will take a brief nap and eat a snack that is lunch like. Then I will be back at it till about 4pm.
At 4pm i need to stop and get dressed. M-SB and I are going on a double / triple date. We pick up Roo after her Reiki class and meet her BF in Old Montreal at the wonderful Tea House we adore. Stopping for pastries at M-SB's favorite spot along the way. After tea, we will meet up with Sam and her BF from work and our mutual friend and former co-worker, Eri. We will have dinner together. The place is called Pho Bang? I think? I hope it is good. Eri said they serve noodle soup things in "bowls big enough to bath a baby in". Well alright then! Our final destination is a concert: Elsiane. *SQUEEE*
I promise to tell you all about it later when I get back if I am alive... otherwise it waits till after I get back from a group gathering tomorrow morning.
In the evening, I started the ritual research for my BOS.
Today has thus far been wholly in ritual for the last few hours. I am taking a break to recoup some energy. Researching, ritual focus, and much writing and cross referencing. I will take a brief nap and eat a snack that is lunch like. Then I will be back at it till about 4pm.
At 4pm i need to stop and get dressed. M-SB and I are going on a double / triple date. We pick up Roo after her Reiki class and meet her BF in Old Montreal at the wonderful Tea House we adore. Stopping for pastries at M-SB's favorite spot along the way. After tea, we will meet up with Sam and her BF from work and our mutual friend and former co-worker, Eri. We will have dinner together. The place is called Pho Bang? I think? I hope it is good. Eri said they serve noodle soup things in "bowls big enough to bath a baby in". Well alright then! Our final destination is a concert: Elsiane. *SQUEEE*
I promise to tell you all about it later when I get back if I am alive... otherwise it waits till after I get back from a group gathering tomorrow morning.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
*Brrrrr*
So fucking cold.
It was so fucking cold today I was borderline grumpy and am amazed I managed to teach a class in the frigidity. I have been home for almost 2 hours and I still can't shake the chill.
Tomorrow I am supposed to teach in the same place, supposedly the warmer space... and do a meditation.
So, tomorrow I spend my dentist money on heaters for my classroom.
It was so fucking cold today I was borderline grumpy and am amazed I managed to teach a class in the frigidity. I have been home for almost 2 hours and I still can't shake the chill.
Tomorrow I am supposed to teach in the same place, supposedly the warmer space... and do a meditation.
So, tomorrow I spend my dentist money on heaters for my classroom.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
*struggle*
Day three of bad sleep.
Day one of bad sleep only made be annoyed in the morning. Locked cats out and then slept some more and felt great.
Day two of bad sleep... two hours of bad sleep with messed up stupid dreams like getting a flat on rollerskates. It made for a slightly hard day at work, but my spirits were fine. Mentally, I was no longer functions by 11pm.
Day three. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I am not grouchy, just not comfortable. Tired. So very tired. Slightly nauseous. I stared stupidly at walls and stuff last night till a ridiculous hour. I locked the cats from the bedroom to reduce the things that disturbed me. I never heard this morning's phone call from the elementary school. They didn't even leave a message. Must have been important for a position for today.
This post has taken me 15 whole minutes to write as i struggle through thinking on each sentence and hen-pecking at my keyboard.
Ugh... gotta go to work... then gotta teach...
Day one of bad sleep only made be annoyed in the morning. Locked cats out and then slept some more and felt great.
Day two of bad sleep... two hours of bad sleep with messed up stupid dreams like getting a flat on rollerskates. It made for a slightly hard day at work, but my spirits were fine. Mentally, I was no longer functions by 11pm.
Day three. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I am not grouchy, just not comfortable. Tired. So very tired. Slightly nauseous. I stared stupidly at walls and stuff last night till a ridiculous hour. I locked the cats from the bedroom to reduce the things that disturbed me. I never heard this morning's phone call from the elementary school. They didn't even leave a message. Must have been important for a position for today.
This post has taken me 15 whole minutes to write as i struggle through thinking on each sentence and hen-pecking at my keyboard.
Ugh... gotta go to work... then gotta teach...
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
On a Roll !!
I finished 3 sections of that Lesson 0 I have been working on for our Outer Court. HUZZAH! I got stumped now at a section I have little familiarity with. The debate is do I take a break from it or skip over and do a different section? Hmmm... I think I will take a break.
I won stuff on EBAY!
1- a CD with the PDF of all the Salem Witch Trials and letters and stuff.
2- DVD of Bell, Book & Candle
AND!
I found all my CMS Level 4 notes that I wrote for teaching. Itr just manifested... like out of nowhere to the top of a book pile.
Time for a break and something fun... hmmm.. Cadfael Mysteries? Kiki's Delivery Service? um... Cadfael.
**EDIT 9:50pm**
With the fancy video card gone from the desktop. I can't play .avi's at all. So... no Cadfael nor Kiki. *sigh* off to gind something else... OoooH Pie!
I won stuff on EBAY!
1- a CD with the PDF of all the Salem Witch Trials and letters and stuff.
2- DVD of Bell, Book & Candle
AND!
I found all my CMS Level 4 notes that I wrote for teaching. Itr just manifested... like out of nowhere to the top of a book pile.
Time for a break and something fun... hmmm.. Cadfael Mysteries? Kiki's Delivery Service? um... Cadfael.
**EDIT 9:50pm**
With the fancy video card gone from the desktop. I can't play .avi's at all. So... no Cadfael nor Kiki. *sigh* off to gind something else... OoooH Pie!
Celebrating!
Why? Because I finished writing a 70 page teacher's manual for the first trimester of CMS level 2. I am very proud of myself. I am eager to start the next one!!
But I have other commitments of writing... BFC-NC-Lesson 0... and a BOS...
Onward HO!
But I have other commitments of writing... BFC-NC-Lesson 0... and a BOS...
Onward HO!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Day Off
I have decided I like having Mondays off.
It seems to be the only day where there are no major rushing of the errands that didn't get done for the week, no rushing to prepare the weekend affairs, no rushing to catch up on the missed stuff. It is an actual day off. A day for recouping from the weekend and slowly gearing up for the week.
Monday, Moon Day, Lundi, Jour de la Lune, Day of Luna the Goddess of the Moon.
Energy is introspection, relaxation, healing, spirituality, creativity.
The colors are white and blues to indigo, soft creams and gentle lavenders.
I was woken rudely by the cats at 6:00am when I locked them out of the bedroom.
The husband woke me again as he left for work later than the early shift, yet for too early for the later shift. It left me confused. I got up at 10:30am for the day. And actually felt like I could face it.
I did my physio after a snack-like brunch. Then I washed dishes and planned to bake an apple pie. OOPS! The butter needs to come to room temperature. It is sitting out now for that. I folded the laundry to discover I am missing one of my favorite socks. *pout*
I skimmed through the Saxon Chocolate catalog in prep for another order for Yule. I think I will have some chocolates for the Yule Fair on the CMS table: Milk and Dark hazelnut truffles individually wrapped in a tub so they can be sold one by one and Marshmallows on sticks dipped in dark chocolate and a sprinkle of peppermint for stirring into hot chocolate which are also individually wrapped to be sold one by one. Those will be so fun for the Yule Fair! I also skimmed the Norwex catalog for things I want. But that is a personal order.
The plans for the day today include:
- cleaning the kitchen
- planning the CMS L2 & L3 classes (mostly planned last week already)
- working on notes for the coven BOS
- working some more on the CMS L2 manual
- writing more on the Northern Cougars Lesson 0
- writing more fanfic
- baking that apple pie
- planning a fun supper (need to run to the grocery store)
- clean and sort the livingroom from the sofa to the reptile tank
- meditation & stretches
And wow... it is only 1:45pm... Let's see how much I get done. I am taking it liesurely. It's my day off! *grin*
It seems to be the only day where there are no major rushing of the errands that didn't get done for the week, no rushing to prepare the weekend affairs, no rushing to catch up on the missed stuff. It is an actual day off. A day for recouping from the weekend and slowly gearing up for the week.
Monday, Moon Day, Lundi, Jour de la Lune, Day of Luna the Goddess of the Moon.
Energy is introspection, relaxation, healing, spirituality, creativity.
The colors are white and blues to indigo, soft creams and gentle lavenders.
I was woken rudely by the cats at 6:00am when I locked them out of the bedroom.
The husband woke me again as he left for work later than the early shift, yet for too early for the later shift. It left me confused. I got up at 10:30am for the day. And actually felt like I could face it.
I did my physio after a snack-like brunch. Then I washed dishes and planned to bake an apple pie. OOPS! The butter needs to come to room temperature. It is sitting out now for that. I folded the laundry to discover I am missing one of my favorite socks. *pout*
I skimmed through the Saxon Chocolate catalog in prep for another order for Yule. I think I will have some chocolates for the Yule Fair on the CMS table: Milk and Dark hazelnut truffles individually wrapped in a tub so they can be sold one by one and Marshmallows on sticks dipped in dark chocolate and a sprinkle of peppermint for stirring into hot chocolate which are also individually wrapped to be sold one by one. Those will be so fun for the Yule Fair! I also skimmed the Norwex catalog for things I want. But that is a personal order.
The plans for the day today include:
- cleaning the kitchen
- planning the CMS L2 & L3 classes (mostly planned last week already)
- working on notes for the coven BOS
- working some more on the CMS L2 manual
- writing more on the Northern Cougars Lesson 0
- writing more fanfic
- baking that apple pie
- planning a fun supper (need to run to the grocery store)
- clean and sort the livingroom from the sofa to the reptile tank
- meditation & stretches
And wow... it is only 1:45pm... Let's see how much I get done. I am taking it liesurely. It's my day off! *grin*
Tense
Sunday was ... a day.
I had a wonderful breakfast with M-SB followed by some online Yule shopping. Then I headed out to the MPRC Catalogging party. Only 3 of us were there. We got no further than what I had last April. But we accomplished it in only 2.5 hours as opposed to the 5 I did when I did it alone. So, two of us tackled that and the third sorted and categorized the many boxes of donated books. Some other people were expected to show to help and attend the volunteers' meeting, however that didn't happen. Showrthanded, I was late for a funerary visitation. That made for some tense frustration as I was the driver and had to be waited upon. I don't know what happened to the people who said they would be there but didn't show up. I hope it was for a very good reason. Otherwise, I think I have a good reason to be a bit mad about it. Anyways, one of the volunteers will try to tackle more of it on Thursday night.
The drive out was a bit tense with everyone kinda frustrated for waiting. That at least was filtered out before we arrived. It was a good visitation. I hugged some people and stayed as a sturdy support for those around me. I am not much effected by deaths. They happen. We say goodbye. Then we live on. They would want us to live on. The reception was a great way for people to pay respects. It was casual and social and not overly full of crying hysterical people. It was still a powerful and emotional event, but not in a down sort of way, but more in a hopeful supportive kind of way.
Comfort food that was fun was in order after that. The day was moving from one state of tense to another. A comforting relaxed distraction time was good. Helped shake the last shreds of the tense feelings.
I had a wonderful breakfast with M-SB followed by some online Yule shopping. Then I headed out to the MPRC Catalogging party. Only 3 of us were there. We got no further than what I had last April. But we accomplished it in only 2.5 hours as opposed to the 5 I did when I did it alone. So, two of us tackled that and the third sorted and categorized the many boxes of donated books. Some other people were expected to show to help and attend the volunteers' meeting, however that didn't happen. Showrthanded, I was late for a funerary visitation. That made for some tense frustration as I was the driver and had to be waited upon. I don't know what happened to the people who said they would be there but didn't show up. I hope it was for a very good reason. Otherwise, I think I have a good reason to be a bit mad about it. Anyways, one of the volunteers will try to tackle more of it on Thursday night.
The drive out was a bit tense with everyone kinda frustrated for waiting. That at least was filtered out before we arrived. It was a good visitation. I hugged some people and stayed as a sturdy support for those around me. I am not much effected by deaths. They happen. We say goodbye. Then we live on. They would want us to live on. The reception was a great way for people to pay respects. It was casual and social and not overly full of crying hysterical people. It was still a powerful and emotional event, but not in a down sort of way, but more in a hopeful supportive kind of way.
Comfort food that was fun was in order after that. The day was moving from one state of tense to another. A comforting relaxed distraction time was good. Helped shake the last shreds of the tense feelings.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Oh... My... Gods...
Harder than I thought...
So I was up till almost 3:00am this morning trying to write assassination scenes for my fanfic. I am great at the fast and shocking scenes. I am good at the slow torturous horror scenes. But how the hell to you write the slow moments of horror in an assassination scene that happens so swftly?
This is way harder than I thought. I am kinda frustrated by this.
Anyone have any books (page numbers included) to suggest that show this? I need to read something of the like to see the style.
This is way harder than I thought. I am kinda frustrated by this.
Anyone have any books (page numbers included) to suggest that show this? I need to read something of the like to see the style.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Wasted fun
Well yesterday was a bit of a waste.
I got cleaning done and reviewed a film for CMS. But that is about it. Taught class. CMS level 2 is always a great joy. They are an awesome bunch.
On my way to teach I poked around for new phones. They'll cost me about $100 for what I want. *sigh* It will have to wait I guess. *grumble* Maybe in a few weeks.
After class I worked on the fanfic. Killed off those generals. Need to tie up that chapter a bit with the final capturing. Then I need to tie it back to my other characters. I'll close that chapter this evening sometime and wprk on the OC's tomorrow.
Last night started to royally suck when one person after another started dropping out of the plans for a fun day today. I understand all their reasons. It was just so very frustrating and disappointing. All the "fun activities" I have planned this year have fallen through for a variety of reasons. I am beginning to feel like I have some kind of disease or something. *sigh* Frustrated. I pray next week's "fun activity" goes off without a hitch.
I went to the Gem Show today... alone... I did manage to briefly run into John and Mel, but we also quickly lost track of each other again. Francois from work crossed paths with me and was great company. I bought several things for ritual use that I have been seeking for a long long while. Next full moon is going to be so BUSY!
Home now and watching "Nightwatch" with the husband.
Later... fanfic writing and other writing...
I got cleaning done and reviewed a film for CMS. But that is about it. Taught class. CMS level 2 is always a great joy. They are an awesome bunch.
On my way to teach I poked around for new phones. They'll cost me about $100 for what I want. *sigh* It will have to wait I guess. *grumble* Maybe in a few weeks.
After class I worked on the fanfic. Killed off those generals. Need to tie up that chapter a bit with the final capturing. Then I need to tie it back to my other characters. I'll close that chapter this evening sometime and wprk on the OC's tomorrow.
Last night started to royally suck when one person after another started dropping out of the plans for a fun day today. I understand all their reasons. It was just so very frustrating and disappointing. All the "fun activities" I have planned this year have fallen through for a variety of reasons. I am beginning to feel like I have some kind of disease or something. *sigh* Frustrated. I pray next week's "fun activity" goes off without a hitch.
I went to the Gem Show today... alone... I did manage to briefly run into John and Mel, but we also quickly lost track of each other again. Francois from work crossed paths with me and was great company. I bought several things for ritual use that I have been seeking for a long long while. Next full moon is going to be so BUSY!
Home now and watching "Nightwatch" with the husband.
Later... fanfic writing and other writing...
Friday, November 14, 2008
Home Alone...
Weird... and so very frustrating.
This evening I am home alone. And could not find the damned phone. The husband left it downstairs. I missed calls from last night and throughout the day entirely today.
%^%^&%^$%&*(*)()_%^
So new priority... new phone set with an extra phone for the basement.
Meanwhile, clean house and looking at the to work on list.
- email CMS students the reading list
- Kill off the Counsel of Five Generals in my fanfic
- finish the Tools in the BOS
- write about a divination method in the CMS-L2 manual
- review what I need for mt research for my Thesis
Maybe nap?
I hope to get some folks online on MSN so I can coordinate some events tomorrow: Gem Show at the hippodrome AND Evening at the Tea House in the Old Port.
This evening I am home alone. And could not find the damned phone. The husband left it downstairs. I missed calls from last night and throughout the day entirely today.
%^%^&%^$%&*(*)()_%^
So new priority... new phone set with an extra phone for the basement.
Meanwhile, clean house and looking at the to work on list.
- email CMS students the reading list
- Kill off the Counsel of Five Generals in my fanfic
- finish the Tools in the BOS
- write about a divination method in the CMS-L2 manual
- review what I need for mt research for my Thesis
Maybe nap?
I hope to get some folks online on MSN so I can coordinate some events tomorrow: Gem Show at the hippodrome AND Evening at the Tea House in the Old Port.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
*grin*
I now own a pair of black Mary Jane shoes.
I will purge out all the shoes I cannot use and narrow it to the shoes I actaully can wear with my orthotics.
Also... just plain feeling good.
The rituals last night with CMS went very well. I am proud of everyone, both Level 2's for quarter calling and Level 3's for the ritual.
Today, the pains in my belly are finally gone. The ankle is still painful, more so today than in the last few weeks. But I am dealing. I have dealt for months without much complaint... I can keep going.
Relaxed some. Ain't that NOVEL!
Spent the night so far mostly in ritual over a BOS of rituals. This has been the ongoing project since Sunday's inspiration. At the next full moon, if I am still happy with it, I will do a full consecration rite for it. For now, each section I add to it is done within ritual space.
Tomorrow will be full of cleaning and teaching.
Just to say it again... I own pretty new black Mary Jane shoes.
*grin*
I will purge out all the shoes I cannot use and narrow it to the shoes I actaully can wear with my orthotics.
Also... just plain feeling good.
The rituals last night with CMS went very well. I am proud of everyone, both Level 2's for quarter calling and Level 3's for the ritual.
Today, the pains in my belly are finally gone. The ankle is still painful, more so today than in the last few weeks. But I am dealing. I have dealt for months without much complaint... I can keep going.
Relaxed some. Ain't that NOVEL!
Spent the night so far mostly in ritual over a BOS of rituals. This has been the ongoing project since Sunday's inspiration. At the next full moon, if I am still happy with it, I will do a full consecration rite for it. For now, each section I add to it is done within ritual space.
Tomorrow will be full of cleaning and teaching.
Just to say it again... I own pretty new black Mary Jane shoes.
*grin*
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Update for the week
Monday... was... Monday. I worked on stuff. Mostly, I worked on coven stuff. Then I worked on CMS stuff. JWW came over to plan out Level 2 and correct homeworks.
Tuesday... was Remembrance Day. I read "In Flanders Field" first thing in the morning. Then I read my grandfather's poem just before running out the door to meet my dad. He was my chaperon to the hospital for an HSG test. That is a test where they inject fluid into your uterus and watch to see if the fluid can flow through the fallopian tubes are if the tubes are blocked somehow. I am normal. No block. The test however, was a bit painful. I came home and slept till like 3pm. Then I went to work. I got home and was deeply in pain from the test. Later that night, a firend, Emru, passed on after a long battle with Leukemia. Blessings on his journey onto the next life.
Today, I wanted to die. I still hurt from the test. I worked. I met a level 1 student for a talk that was very good. I hope to meet with the other students to hear how they are doing. Then I hope to sit with the teacher to see how he is doing. It seemed to be a hard year for this level this year. Everyone is feeling it. I hope the meetings will reveal a solution to help relieve the stress some. I rushed from that to dinner and back. Then had a great ritual put on by the CMS level 3 students with the Level 2's calling quarters. There was frost on my car for the first time.
This semester has made me feel run ragged. It is hard not to let it show.
Others feel run ragged too. And on some of them it has really shown.
The wheel needs to turn to a better year now.
Tuesday... was Remembrance Day. I read "In Flanders Field" first thing in the morning. Then I read my grandfather's poem just before running out the door to meet my dad. He was my chaperon to the hospital for an HSG test. That is a test where they inject fluid into your uterus and watch to see if the fluid can flow through the fallopian tubes are if the tubes are blocked somehow. I am normal. No block. The test however, was a bit painful. I came home and slept till like 3pm. Then I went to work. I got home and was deeply in pain from the test. Later that night, a firend, Emru, passed on after a long battle with Leukemia. Blessings on his journey onto the next life.
Today, I wanted to die. I still hurt from the test. I worked. I met a level 1 student for a talk that was very good. I hope to meet with the other students to hear how they are doing. Then I hope to sit with the teacher to see how he is doing. It seemed to be a hard year for this level this year. Everyone is feeling it. I hope the meetings will reveal a solution to help relieve the stress some. I rushed from that to dinner and back. Then had a great ritual put on by the CMS level 3 students with the Level 2's calling quarters. There was frost on my car for the first time.
This semester has made me feel run ragged. It is hard not to let it show.
Others feel run ragged too. And on some of them it has really shown.
The wheel needs to turn to a better year now.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Remembrance Day
Monday, November 10, 2008
scary...
My iGoogle Horoscope has been um... scarily accurate of late.
Yesterday:
Go ahead and make some special plans, even if you can't execute them just yet. You probably can dream up something to do today to pass the time, but the real action is still on the way. Don't be afraid to think big, for the Moon in your 9th House of Grand Vision is setting the stage for a mind-opening experience. It's a smart strategy to consider your options now while you still have the chance.
Today:
Others may think they know you, but today even your close friends and family might not fully understand how you're feeling. It's not that you are purposefully hiding anything, nor are you in a bad mood. It's just that your emotions are running deeper than anyone realizes and you don't feel obliged to disclose something that would make you feel more vulnerable now. There's no need to justify your actions; your inside world is yours to share as you wish.
Yesterday:
Go ahead and make some special plans, even if you can't execute them just yet. You probably can dream up something to do today to pass the time, but the real action is still on the way. Don't be afraid to think big, for the Moon in your 9th House of Grand Vision is setting the stage for a mind-opening experience. It's a smart strategy to consider your options now while you still have the chance.
Today:
Others may think they know you, but today even your close friends and family might not fully understand how you're feeling. It's not that you are purposefully hiding anything, nor are you in a bad mood. It's just that your emotions are running deeper than anyone realizes and you don't feel obliged to disclose something that would make you feel more vulnerable now. There's no need to justify your actions; your inside world is yours to share as you wish.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Discoveries
The car thankfully should not cost me too much to fix the wheel as the tires are supposed to be on guarantee. YAY!
Also, I found new shoes that fit the orthotics, are comfy and look nice. They are Dr. Scholl's. I bought the brown ones for versatility. I really wanted the burgundy red ones. They have a black set too. At $29.95... I may pick up a pair a week. Then when I kill a pair from use, I have another I know fit. Also found some pretty Mary Janes. They were $39.95. The strap though was velcro so I passed on them at the moment. I may get them next week so I have a dressier shoe to wear with skirts. Because of the velcro, they are not good for the brutal everyday use I will put them through.
I have the meds I need for the test I have on Tuesday. Tomorrow I will call to find out how long it will take for the test and some other more sensitive questions I need answers to so I am better prepaired when I go.
My shoulder somehow is all pulled out of wack and has kept me up with the pain. So... I am VERY tired and hurting. I think I will take some advil and lie down before people show up here for the afternoon.
Also, I found new shoes that fit the orthotics, are comfy and look nice. They are Dr. Scholl's. I bought the brown ones for versatility. I really wanted the burgundy red ones. They have a black set too. At $29.95... I may pick up a pair a week. Then when I kill a pair from use, I have another I know fit. Also found some pretty Mary Janes. They were $39.95. The strap though was velcro so I passed on them at the moment. I may get them next week so I have a dressier shoe to wear with skirts. Because of the velcro, they are not good for the brutal everyday use I will put them through.
I have the meds I need for the test I have on Tuesday. Tomorrow I will call to find out how long it will take for the test and some other more sensitive questions I need answers to so I am better prepaired when I go.
My shoulder somehow is all pulled out of wack and has kept me up with the pain. So... I am VERY tired and hurting. I think I will take some advil and lie down before people show up here for the afternoon.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Khabaaaam! .......... oops....
Ya... class today was a bit explosive. *sheepish grin*
Today was a decent day, slow to start but all round ok. Some cleaning got done. Some advertising got done. A poster got made. Homework from CMS level 3 got evaluated. And I got to class to teach energy work.
The level 2 CMS class was amazing. Their energy work was spot on. It was really impressive to see and be a part of their learning. They asked great challenging questions and explored their abilities readily. It is times like these that remind me why I absolutely love to teach.
Then there are those moment of epic oops's i wish I could not have been present for...
Energy class... I demonstrated smashing a shield (a tiny one I built over an object in front of me)... The demonstration turned out to be WAY way WAY more dramatic than intended.
I blew up my howlite bracelet.
Literally.
Somehow fried through the wire, frayed it bad with the energetic explosion.
Beads flew everywhere.
I blew up my howlite bracelet.... crap...
The class was really shocked and impressed with the display of energy.
"It was like a fire cracker going off. Clappig hands just don't make that sound!"
"I practically saw it slow motion... BANG... beads bouncing in all directions..."
I forgot that Howlite doesn't handle energy like that and in its attempt to shunt it and balance it... khabaaam! ....... ooops.... The students were wow'ed. I was embarrassed.
Roo? Can you fix my bracelet please? Sorry... I blew it up. I think we found all but one bead.
Today was a decent day, slow to start but all round ok. Some cleaning got done. Some advertising got done. A poster got made. Homework from CMS level 3 got evaluated. And I got to class to teach energy work.
The level 2 CMS class was amazing. Their energy work was spot on. It was really impressive to see and be a part of their learning. They asked great challenging questions and explored their abilities readily. It is times like these that remind me why I absolutely love to teach.
Then there are those moment of epic oops's i wish I could not have been present for...
Energy class... I demonstrated smashing a shield (a tiny one I built over an object in front of me)... The demonstration turned out to be WAY way WAY more dramatic than intended.
I blew up my howlite bracelet.
Literally.
Somehow fried through the wire, frayed it bad with the energetic explosion.
Beads flew everywhere.
I blew up my howlite bracelet.... crap...
The class was really shocked and impressed with the display of energy.
"It was like a fire cracker going off. Clappig hands just don't make that sound!"
"I practically saw it slow motion... BANG... beads bouncing in all directions..."
I forgot that Howlite doesn't handle energy like that and in its attempt to shunt it and balance it... khabaaam! ....... ooops.... The students were wow'ed. I was embarrassed.
Roo? Can you fix my bracelet please? Sorry... I blew it up. I think we found all but one bead.
Limping Along...
Yesterday at work was full of accomplishments. Plowed through the hateful tarot project. Brought down a bunch of crap from the storage to throw out. Made pretty displays. OH! Need to make a pretty poster sometime today! As there is a new display of the lovely Asian tea sets and teas and stuff and medication things, I decided to host a Tea Ceremony workshop to show people how to use the teas and tools and stuff. I need to make a pretty poster for it.
My aches and pains have still been present. The feet are improving with the new orthotics. Love love love my orthotics. The ankle... did I say has severe tendonitis? Ya... that is still there and still hurts. The request to not be on my foot except for my physio exercises is impossible. There are days I take powerful advil and pretend to be ok. For the record. I am not ok.
The shoulder and down to the wrist... well, i pulled the shoulder muscles again hauling heavy stuff for the Dumb Supper and last night hauling home the gear left behind from the Dumb Supper. But it is doing better with a rubbing and some being careful. My wrist is not hurting randomly now. So i guess that is an improvement. It only hurts when I do certain things, some of which I did Thursday. Advil...
Val, a level 3 student of mine is training to be an Osteopath. She was great. The little exercise she gave me for my tendonitis in my foot/ankle has helped releive some of the worst throbbing when it occurs. I went to physio. He did not torture me too much this time. He really is amazing though, even if what he does sometimes hurts. I feel better after. He declared that I have significant improvement with the foot/ankle. There is less pain with certain movements. Some of the exercises he gave me no longer are difficult. This means I have managed to increase mobility that I had almost completely lost. I still have swelling and pain and can't do several of the exercises he'd like me to eventually be able to do. The request to stay off it... still not likely to happen.
I headed out to see about my car as I blew the front tire somehow last weekend at the Dumb Supper. They were far too crowded and busy. So I bought groceries and went home.
Thursday was an expencive day. Paid $120 for an order from Saxon Chocolates. At least most of that is coming back to me this week. Paid $250 to Jars of Stars for a rerendering project of 2 banner logos in prep for them to be used wherever I want them to. A little bit of that will hopefully be coming back to me by the end of the weekend. Paid $65 for physio. I'll only get $20 back from insurance later. Groceries were another $65. Sympatico will be yet another $65. Visa was $160, I got caught up on a bunch of stuff and missed a payment. Ooops. That is now sorted out. And I haven't dealt with the car yet or the other monthly bills (hydro, bell, telus, concordia, car payment). Expensive month.
Other than that, I am doing well. Limping physically. Also... the car is limping along on the smaller spare tire. I hope to fix that tomorrow.
Today, I have cleaning help. YAY! I will make a poster for the Tea workshop, post stuff to e-lists, work on the CMS Level 2 teacher's manual, plan coven stuff, correct CMS Level 3 student work.
As a side note, I saw another movie during my insomnia last night. I watched Babylon AD. It has Vin Diesel in it. I really like him as an actor. The movie had some of the feel of XXX set in 2020 AD, however, as it neared the end, the story was rushed and failed to have a suitable strength of plot. They missed other key plot aids that might have made it easier to understand the film. Shame. It had really good actors.
My aches and pains have still been present. The feet are improving with the new orthotics. Love love love my orthotics. The ankle... did I say has severe tendonitis? Ya... that is still there and still hurts. The request to not be on my foot except for my physio exercises is impossible. There are days I take powerful advil and pretend to be ok. For the record. I am not ok.
The shoulder and down to the wrist... well, i pulled the shoulder muscles again hauling heavy stuff for the Dumb Supper and last night hauling home the gear left behind from the Dumb Supper. But it is doing better with a rubbing and some being careful. My wrist is not hurting randomly now. So i guess that is an improvement. It only hurts when I do certain things, some of which I did Thursday. Advil...
Val, a level 3 student of mine is training to be an Osteopath. She was great. The little exercise she gave me for my tendonitis in my foot/ankle has helped releive some of the worst throbbing when it occurs. I went to physio. He did not torture me too much this time. He really is amazing though, even if what he does sometimes hurts. I feel better after. He declared that I have significant improvement with the foot/ankle. There is less pain with certain movements. Some of the exercises he gave me no longer are difficult. This means I have managed to increase mobility that I had almost completely lost. I still have swelling and pain and can't do several of the exercises he'd like me to eventually be able to do. The request to stay off it... still not likely to happen.
I headed out to see about my car as I blew the front tire somehow last weekend at the Dumb Supper. They were far too crowded and busy. So I bought groceries and went home.
Thursday was an expencive day. Paid $120 for an order from Saxon Chocolates. At least most of that is coming back to me this week. Paid $250 to Jars of Stars for a rerendering project of 2 banner logos in prep for them to be used wherever I want them to. A little bit of that will hopefully be coming back to me by the end of the weekend. Paid $65 for physio. I'll only get $20 back from insurance later. Groceries were another $65. Sympatico will be yet another $65. Visa was $160, I got caught up on a bunch of stuff and missed a payment. Ooops. That is now sorted out. And I haven't dealt with the car yet or the other monthly bills (hydro, bell, telus, concordia, car payment). Expensive month.
Other than that, I am doing well. Limping physically. Also... the car is limping along on the smaller spare tire. I hope to fix that tomorrow.
Today, I have cleaning help. YAY! I will make a poster for the Tea workshop, post stuff to e-lists, work on the CMS Level 2 teacher's manual, plan coven stuff, correct CMS Level 3 student work.
As a side note, I saw another movie during my insomnia last night. I watched Babylon AD. It has Vin Diesel in it. I really like him as an actor. The movie had some of the feel of XXX set in 2020 AD, however, as it neared the end, the story was rushed and failed to have a suitable strength of plot. They missed other key plot aids that might have made it easier to understand the film. Shame. It had really good actors.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Brendan Myers on YouTube!
Other Side of Virtue
ISBN: 1846941156
Publisher: O Books
$24.94
A Pagan Testament
ISBN: 1846941296
Publisher: O Books
$24.95
ISBN: 1846941156
Publisher: O Books
$24.94
A Pagan Testament
ISBN: 1846941296
Publisher: O Books
$24.95
Monday, November 03, 2008
Nothing
I feel like I got nothing done today. I lounged and watched movies and stuff.
Actually... I did get some stuff done. I got this weeks CMS classes planned out. I washed some dishes. I baked an apple pie. I made dinner for the husband.
It just doesn't seem like enough.
Maybe because some of the things I needed to do today didn't get done. .. Like getting the car out to see about the tire. That has now shuffled to Friday. *sigh* Guess I will see about a bus pass of some kind... tickets likely. I have one to get me to work tomorrow.
As a side note... Max Payne... is an ok movie. I think much more could have been done with it.
I am off to bed to do more nothing... or maybe I will be lucky and do some sleeping.
Actually... I did get some stuff done. I got this weeks CMS classes planned out. I washed some dishes. I baked an apple pie. I made dinner for the husband.
It just doesn't seem like enough.
Maybe because some of the things I needed to do today didn't get done. .. Like getting the car out to see about the tire. That has now shuffled to Friday. *sigh* Guess I will see about a bus pass of some kind... tickets likely. I have one to get me to work tomorrow.
As a side note... Max Payne... is an ok movie. I think much more could have been done with it.
I am off to bed to do more nothing... or maybe I will be lucky and do some sleeping.
taking it slow...
So i woke at 3am cramping so bad i wanted to die.
I managed to get back to sleep about 8am and woken at 11am. I decided to just laze in bed and try to relax for a few hours. Hunger pulled me from bed. So I washed some dishes and made some late lunch. I still have a ton of dishes from the Dumb Supper to wash. I will do more later.
Today is deemed a slow day.
I scheduled the "painful" test for November 11th. Rather, they told me when I could come. I have to call them back and find out approximately how long it takes. My dad will come with me. My mom is a spazoid panicky woman with hospitals.
Today, I will do banking, see about the car tire, plan my lessons for the week, get some crickets for the lizard, and do some writing. Also, I plan to do some more sorting and cleaning. I have begun to sort the livingroom. I want to get through all that and move things into their proper places, maybe move the exercise bike into the livingroom. We'll see how far I get.
Like I said... taking this day slow...
I managed to get back to sleep about 8am and woken at 11am. I decided to just laze in bed and try to relax for a few hours. Hunger pulled me from bed. So I washed some dishes and made some late lunch. I still have a ton of dishes from the Dumb Supper to wash. I will do more later.
Today is deemed a slow day.
I scheduled the "painful" test for November 11th. Rather, they told me when I could come. I have to call them back and find out approximately how long it takes. My dad will come with me. My mom is a spazoid panicky woman with hospitals.
Today, I will do banking, see about the car tire, plan my lessons for the week, get some crickets for the lizard, and do some writing. Also, I plan to do some more sorting and cleaning. I have begun to sort the livingroom. I want to get through all that and move things into their proper places, maybe move the exercise bike into the livingroom. We'll see how far I get.
Like I said... taking this day slow...
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Sigh of MUCH Frustration
Yesterday was a heck of a day.
The month of October has sucked royally as much as humanly possible so far. I look forward to the new year. The Wheel NEEDS to turn.
Yesterday I had not gotten much sleep at all due to a variety of stupid reasons. One being my cats chasing a fly in the house. Another being my cats being in uber-destructo-kitty mode at 6:00am. Another being a dream that a U-Haul truck backed into our driveway and severely crunched our neighbor's car then drove away. Stupid dream. I managed to get to sleep about 8:00am and woke at 11:00am. I was already late to be at Roo's to cook for the Dumb Supper. I packed my stuff and picked up last minute things and then headed over, arriving at 1:00pm. Cooked a great feast. Noticed that the front right tire was a bit low coming out of her driveway but got to the store fine with the first load. Set up what I could and had to drive back to Verdun to pick up people and their cooking projects. The plan was to fill the tire with air on the way back. It completely went flat and was wrecked by the first gas station. My winter tire! DAMMIT! A nice guy helped me change for the spare from the trunk. I really hope that the tire is still on warranty. I don't have the budget to to car repairs right now.
After one hitch after another, the Dumb Supper finally commences with 13 people in attendance. We hoped for 18-19. However, 4 had to cancel. It went really well. I look forward to another one next year.
We packed up and crashed for the night. I woke with lovely menstral cramps. I wanted to scream in frustration. I wished I was pregnant. I am not. Pregnant would have meant not having to do a "painful" test. Now I have to do the painful test.
I am home and the car is unpacked. I had to unpack it so I could easily have access to the dead tire when I bring it to Canadian Tire... later... Maybe tomorrow.
I think I will just lie down.
The month of October has sucked royally as much as humanly possible so far. I look forward to the new year. The Wheel NEEDS to turn.
Yesterday I had not gotten much sleep at all due to a variety of stupid reasons. One being my cats chasing a fly in the house. Another being my cats being in uber-destructo-kitty mode at 6:00am. Another being a dream that a U-Haul truck backed into our driveway and severely crunched our neighbor's car then drove away. Stupid dream. I managed to get to sleep about 8:00am and woke at 11:00am. I was already late to be at Roo's to cook for the Dumb Supper. I packed my stuff and picked up last minute things and then headed over, arriving at 1:00pm. Cooked a great feast. Noticed that the front right tire was a bit low coming out of her driveway but got to the store fine with the first load. Set up what I could and had to drive back to Verdun to pick up people and their cooking projects. The plan was to fill the tire with air on the way back. It completely went flat and was wrecked by the first gas station. My winter tire! DAMMIT! A nice guy helped me change for the spare from the trunk. I really hope that the tire is still on warranty. I don't have the budget to to car repairs right now.
After one hitch after another, the Dumb Supper finally commences with 13 people in attendance. We hoped for 18-19. However, 4 had to cancel. It went really well. I look forward to another one next year.
We packed up and crashed for the night. I woke with lovely menstral cramps. I wanted to scream in frustration. I wished I was pregnant. I am not. Pregnant would have meant not having to do a "painful" test. Now I have to do the painful test.
I am home and the car is unpacked. I had to unpack it so I could easily have access to the dead tire when I bring it to Canadian Tire... later... Maybe tomorrow.
I think I will just lie down.
Flickr
This is a test post from 
, a fancy photo sharing thing.
, a fancy photo sharing thing.
