Saturday, April 24, 2010
changes
So I get home to things I expected to have done not done.
I am starved, exhausted, and have to clean.
Then do laundry... and move things from the basement.
Also... thumb hurting!!!
Thumb news:
There is a "thing" (can't pronounce it and thus really cannot spell it) interfering with the tendons and joint of my thumb (painfully I might add). I have to see a speciallist and then plan for surgery where i have the joy of them slicing open my thumb and part 0of my hand to remove whatever it is and do "corrective plastic surgery. Appointment with specialist is May or June.
Now I am rearranging the living room.
I am starved, exhausted, and have to clean.
Then do laundry... and move things from the basement.
Also... thumb hurting!!!
Thumb news:
There is a "thing" (can't pronounce it and thus really cannot spell it) interfering with the tendons and joint of my thumb (painfully I might add). I have to see a speciallist and then plan for surgery where i have the joy of them slicing open my thumb and part 0of my hand to remove whatever it is and do "corrective plastic surgery. Appointment with specialist is May or June.
Now I am rearranging the living room.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sweet Monday
I love Mondays.
Today was a slow lazy morning to round out the relatively lazy weekend I gifted myself for passing my stressful Zen class with an A.
The afternoon was full of Karyn and her baby Liam and Chinatown for a late birthday fun day. I was worried I would become a stressed out emotional flippy mom-wanna-be like I usually do when with people with children these days. But Karyn was very down to earth and did not push expectations of mom-baby stuff at me at all. She was every bit a joy! So was Liam, who was good, and smiley and everything wonderful! I came home a relaxed content person and not a ticking time-bomb. Thank you Karyn for being so wonderful!!!
When I came home... the chilling back came to an end. I had 2.5 weeks of laundry to do as laundry day schedules were messed up. I returned to purging the hall closets and cleaning the floor. Trying to catch up on the cleaning that was neglected while I was doing paper stuff. Also, we are giving up the basement. That means purging the house to try to figure out where the fuck to put the basement stuff. Still dunno what I am doing with the basement stuff. I suspect it will invade my office and force my office back to office-X-storage room. *hate hate hate* I have about 10 days to figure it out.
On the homework front, My ethics red tape forms are done and ready to be signed and sent off. Now to work on the Grant Proposal, Research Budget, RA Paper & Conference, and Thesis.
Tuesday: purge bedroom, mop bedroom, purge stairwell, mop stairwell, cancel Bell phone, finish laundry, return refundables, tune bike, clean kitchen, post stuff for sale, and clean the dove.
Reminder to self: check when the next RA meeting is!
Today was a slow lazy morning to round out the relatively lazy weekend I gifted myself for passing my stressful Zen class with an A.
The afternoon was full of Karyn and her baby Liam and Chinatown for a late birthday fun day. I was worried I would become a stressed out emotional flippy mom-wanna-be like I usually do when with people with children these days. But Karyn was very down to earth and did not push expectations of mom-baby stuff at me at all. She was every bit a joy! So was Liam, who was good, and smiley and everything wonderful! I came home a relaxed content person and not a ticking time-bomb. Thank you Karyn for being so wonderful!!!
When I came home... the chilling back came to an end. I had 2.5 weeks of laundry to do as laundry day schedules were messed up. I returned to purging the hall closets and cleaning the floor. Trying to catch up on the cleaning that was neglected while I was doing paper stuff. Also, we are giving up the basement. That means purging the house to try to figure out where the fuck to put the basement stuff. Still dunno what I am doing with the basement stuff. I suspect it will invade my office and force my office back to office-X-storage room. *hate hate hate* I have about 10 days to figure it out.
On the homework front, My ethics red tape forms are done and ready to be signed and sent off. Now to work on the Grant Proposal, Research Budget, RA Paper & Conference, and Thesis.
Tuesday: purge bedroom, mop bedroom, purge stairwell, mop stairwell, cancel Bell phone, finish laundry, return refundables, tune bike, clean kitchen, post stuff for sale, and clean the dove.
Reminder to self: check when the next RA meeting is!
Friday, April 16, 2010
"A "
I emailed a digital copy of my paper to my teacher. Just so he knew I was done while I sought to burn a DVD for him and get to a printer to print a hardcopy.
The week was hell. Getting downtown was also hell! I left the house at 1pm, but the metro was not working and had to take a bus into downtown. I got to school at 2:40pm and dashed to the copy place to print my paper and deliver it. I apparently missed my teacher by 5 minutes. *ARGH* I put it in his mailbox.
Then I dropped of the 2 tons of books I borrowed for the paper (except one that I want to read more thoroughly). What a weight off my shoulders... physically too!
I also got my laptop now able to connect to the web from school. They had to load something on and adjust a thingy. Whatever. It works! This post is proof!
And what did I discover when I logged onto the internet and checked my email? My teacher went ahead and corrected my digital paper and gave me an "A" for my final grade! I got an A from this teacher!!! WFT!!! AWESOME!!!
I have still stuff for school to do. Get Pagan history texts and write 10 pages of Pagan historical context for my thesis. Get my SPF ethics forms signed and delivered so I can officially start interviews. Write a grant proposal and research budget for my other class. Review and write the RA analysis paper, then condense it and prepare a formal conference presentation.
So, still lots to do, but all that other stuff does not nearly stress me out as much as this paper did. It's done now!! I am taking a weekend away from school stuff to just clean the house and relax... and maybe see some people I have had to break appointments with.
Now... I am killing time. 3:30pm and I start work at 5pm.
The week was hell. Getting downtown was also hell! I left the house at 1pm, but the metro was not working and had to take a bus into downtown. I got to school at 2:40pm and dashed to the copy place to print my paper and deliver it. I apparently missed my teacher by 5 minutes. *ARGH* I put it in his mailbox.
Then I dropped of the 2 tons of books I borrowed for the paper (except one that I want to read more thoroughly). What a weight off my shoulders... physically too!
I also got my laptop now able to connect to the web from school. They had to load something on and adjust a thingy. Whatever. It works! This post is proof!
And what did I discover when I logged onto the internet and checked my email? My teacher went ahead and corrected my digital paper and gave me an "A" for my final grade! I got an A from this teacher!!! WFT!!! AWESOME!!!
I have still stuff for school to do. Get Pagan history texts and write 10 pages of Pagan historical context for my thesis. Get my SPF ethics forms signed and delivered so I can officially start interviews. Write a grant proposal and research budget for my other class. Review and write the RA analysis paper, then condense it and prepare a formal conference presentation.
So, still lots to do, but all that other stuff does not nearly stress me out as much as this paper did. It's done now!! I am taking a weekend away from school stuff to just clean the house and relax... and maybe see some people I have had to break appointments with.
Now... I am killing time. 3:30pm and I start work at 5pm.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Little Life Update
Still writing the Zen & Tea paper...
Although, I am now in the home stretch and expect to be finished tonight. I am at page 23. I am doing the tail end of the research and then writing a concluding section of 2 pages. I then have to edit and prepare a nice presentation with pictures, DVD, and tea! I intend to drop it all off tomorrow morning before noon.
Thumb/wrist is still hurting and has poor mobility...
So, Wednesday i got fed up with the pain and the inability to move my thumb. It was interfering with work and everything. I am still, apparently, a lefty in all things but writing. I had forgotten till i could no longer properly use my left hand. ARRGGGH! So i lost several hours from work and made MANY trips to several doctors. I got checked and poked and whatnot, then given a prescription and referrals for blood tests and x-rays. The possibilities of the problem: gout, tendinitis, arthritis, ruptured tendon of the thumb, and a long list of further unknowns. The meds are an anti-inflammatory. If they work, then that will narrow the field of what is wrong. If they do not work, they will rule out certain possibilities too. The meds are close in "family"to advil, so i cannot take painlkillers while on these meds. I tell you, this was HELL when the migrain hit. Today, I got the blood tests done and the x-rays. results will be ready next Thursday. I have a follow-up appointment for then. And so far... the meds are doing zip.
Changes in the house...
The house is falling into a state of failure. This is mostly because I am too busy with the paper to clean it. When I don't clean it, I feel like I am a failure in life and relationship. That is a hard guilt. When I do clean it, I feel like I am failing at my school work because I am not devoting time to it. Also a hard guilt. No-win situation!
On top of this, is the fact that some serious changes are starting to happen. We are giving up the basement offices. Not sure WHERE I will put the stuff that is there. The hubby is reclaiming the spare room to make it into his office again. Part of this is VERY frustrating as I don't know where to put stuff. Also, it is one more chink in the having a baby thing as now there is no room for one. Not that the baby making thing nor the adoption thing seems to be happening. No... do NOT ask me about it. baby stuff and child stuff is a BAD BAD BAD thing to talk to me about. Pretend the subject and children and babies and all things related to them... don't exist. At least if you want me to speak to you and be in any fit state to be human.
The cats are not liking the changes. Or, the coming storm is making them wonky. They have been all kinds of special and naughty. Wanting food at UNUSUAL and STUPID hours. Being totally destructive in bizarre ways. Squalling and crying for no apparent reason. I am endeavoring to NOT strangle them all.
Makes me wish more and more that we owned a little country house far away that was very Zen like for me to retreat to and work on my paper and get away from everything and everyone now and then. *SIGH*
The laptop is all kinds of good...
I love my new little laptop. It is WAY better than my desktop. I spend most of my time on it and not on the desktop. Once the paper is done, I will have to make the full switch over and clean out the desktop. Then I will need to find it a new home.
Future plans...
I was considering increasing my work hours once done with school. But now I am considering not. The house needs my attention to for changes that are happening to it. There is gardening I want to get started. Also, there is unfinished renovations in the kitchen to, well, finish. I want to get the windows removed from all rooms and clean them. I want to de-spider EVERYTHING!!! I want to make the balconies usable... although, I have discovered that the neighbors smoke. Now I know where the smell has been coming from. I had noticed it now and then in my home... and more so when I have opened the balcony door a crack. The stench is leaking through the walls and certainly coming in from when they smoke on the front balcony. So I am not sure what the future of the balcony use will be.
So, I figure I will keep my reduced hours through May to try to get caught up on stuff. Then increase the hours in June. I have several conferences and events I have to plan for. I am not sure how I am managing them yet.
Now...
Ok, I have enjoyed a little distraction and must get back to the paper.
Although, I am now in the home stretch and expect to be finished tonight. I am at page 23. I am doing the tail end of the research and then writing a concluding section of 2 pages. I then have to edit and prepare a nice presentation with pictures, DVD, and tea! I intend to drop it all off tomorrow morning before noon.
Thumb/wrist is still hurting and has poor mobility...
So, Wednesday i got fed up with the pain and the inability to move my thumb. It was interfering with work and everything. I am still, apparently, a lefty in all things but writing. I had forgotten till i could no longer properly use my left hand. ARRGGGH! So i lost several hours from work and made MANY trips to several doctors. I got checked and poked and whatnot, then given a prescription and referrals for blood tests and x-rays. The possibilities of the problem: gout, tendinitis, arthritis, ruptured tendon of the thumb, and a long list of further unknowns. The meds are an anti-inflammatory. If they work, then that will narrow the field of what is wrong. If they do not work, they will rule out certain possibilities too. The meds are close in "family"to advil, so i cannot take painlkillers while on these meds. I tell you, this was HELL when the migrain hit. Today, I got the blood tests done and the x-rays. results will be ready next Thursday. I have a follow-up appointment for then. And so far... the meds are doing zip.
Changes in the house...
The house is falling into a state of failure. This is mostly because I am too busy with the paper to clean it. When I don't clean it, I feel like I am a failure in life and relationship. That is a hard guilt. When I do clean it, I feel like I am failing at my school work because I am not devoting time to it. Also a hard guilt. No-win situation!
On top of this, is the fact that some serious changes are starting to happen. We are giving up the basement offices. Not sure WHERE I will put the stuff that is there. The hubby is reclaiming the spare room to make it into his office again. Part of this is VERY frustrating as I don't know where to put stuff. Also, it is one more chink in the having a baby thing as now there is no room for one. Not that the baby making thing nor the adoption thing seems to be happening. No... do NOT ask me about it. baby stuff and child stuff is a BAD BAD BAD thing to talk to me about. Pretend the subject and children and babies and all things related to them... don't exist. At least if you want me to speak to you and be in any fit state to be human.
The cats are not liking the changes. Or, the coming storm is making them wonky. They have been all kinds of special and naughty. Wanting food at UNUSUAL and STUPID hours. Being totally destructive in bizarre ways. Squalling and crying for no apparent reason. I am endeavoring to NOT strangle them all.
Makes me wish more and more that we owned a little country house far away that was very Zen like for me to retreat to and work on my paper and get away from everything and everyone now and then. *SIGH*
The laptop is all kinds of good...
I love my new little laptop. It is WAY better than my desktop. I spend most of my time on it and not on the desktop. Once the paper is done, I will have to make the full switch over and clean out the desktop. Then I will need to find it a new home.
Future plans...
I was considering increasing my work hours once done with school. But now I am considering not. The house needs my attention to for changes that are happening to it. There is gardening I want to get started. Also, there is unfinished renovations in the kitchen to, well, finish. I want to get the windows removed from all rooms and clean them. I want to de-spider EVERYTHING!!! I want to make the balconies usable... although, I have discovered that the neighbors smoke. Now I know where the smell has been coming from. I had noticed it now and then in my home... and more so when I have opened the balcony door a crack. The stench is leaking through the walls and certainly coming in from when they smoke on the front balcony. So I am not sure what the future of the balcony use will be.
So, I figure I will keep my reduced hours through May to try to get caught up on stuff. Then increase the hours in June. I have several conferences and events I have to plan for. I am not sure how I am managing them yet.
Now...
Ok, I have enjoyed a little distraction and must get back to the paper.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Saved only to drown again
Working in the middle of writing my paper was BAD! It broke my flow. It also took away desperately needed time. However, I did manage to get time on my breaks to recover somewhat from the cat-astrophe.
Sunday was a LONG omgs long day of writing and playing Dragon Age while I digested information and let it percolate. I dropped the ball totally with CMS having forgotten I was supposed to teach. I am so embarrassed and so very very VERY sorry. I managed to get a bunch of pages and sections written.
But not enough.
I got up early today and everything finally came into a good smooth picture of what I was doing. Also, I was entering a part of my research that I am much more familiar with. I was on a good writing roll.
But not enough.
Noon came and went. There went my paper deadline. Also... my lunch date with my friend Karyn. She was nice enough to reschedule. I emailed my teacher and pray this does not adversely effect my grade.
I am taking a break to do some much needed house cleaning so I can think more. Then back into the writing. I want this paper done by morning. I also am supposed to look at readings and my assignment for my other class (which will happen tomorrow at noon) and the paper for my RA stuff (meeting tomorrow at 4pm). I am trying to be Zen... trying...
Please divine, help me survive these next 2 days. I do not want to drown.
Sunday was a LONG omgs long day of writing and playing Dragon Age while I digested information and let it percolate. I dropped the ball totally with CMS having forgotten I was supposed to teach. I am so embarrassed and so very very VERY sorry. I managed to get a bunch of pages and sections written.
But not enough.
I got up early today and everything finally came into a good smooth picture of what I was doing. Also, I was entering a part of my research that I am much more familiar with. I was on a good writing roll.
But not enough.
Noon came and went. There went my paper deadline. Also... my lunch date with my friend Karyn. She was nice enough to reschedule. I emailed my teacher and pray this does not adversely effect my grade.
I am taking a break to do some much needed house cleaning so I can think more. Then back into the writing. I want this paper done by morning. I also am supposed to look at readings and my assignment for my other class (which will happen tomorrow at noon) and the paper for my RA stuff (meeting tomorrow at 4pm). I am trying to be Zen... trying...
Please divine, help me survive these next 2 days. I do not want to drown.
Friday, April 09, 2010
Hate my Cat
Murder is wrong. I know this.
Cruelty to animals is also wrong. I know this too.
But i sure as hell want to do horrible deadly torturous things to my cat Tsuki.
For the last couple weeks he has been great. But today... in the 2 hours between me leaving for work and my hubby coming in from work... he tore out all the tabs in my books that are aside for my paper. That is DAYS of research I have to do over. I could scream. I could kill him.
He has earned box time whenever there is no one in the house while i am still doing research, and all night long while we are asleep and cannot watch him.
I am so angry and upset... you have NO IDEA!!! And i can't do anything tomorrow since I have to work tomorrow.
Can I cry...
Cruelty to animals is also wrong. I know this too.
But i sure as hell want to do horrible deadly torturous things to my cat Tsuki.
For the last couple weeks he has been great. But today... in the 2 hours between me leaving for work and my hubby coming in from work... he tore out all the tabs in my books that are aside for my paper. That is DAYS of research I have to do over. I could scream. I could kill him.
He has earned box time whenever there is no one in the house while i am still doing research, and all night long while we are asleep and cannot watch him.
I am so angry and upset... you have NO IDEA!!! And i can't do anything tomorrow since I have to work tomorrow.
Can I cry...
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Rikyu from the Namporoku
“Chanoyu of the small room is above all a matter of performing practice and attaning realization in accord with the Buddhist path. To delight in the refined splendour of a dwelling or the taste of delicacies belongs to worldly life. There is shelter enough if the roof does not leak, food enough is it staves off hunger. This is the Buddhist teaching and the fundamental meaning of chanoyu. We draw water, gather firewood, boil the water, and make tea. We then offer it to the Buddha, serve it to others, and drink it ourselves. We arrange flowers and burn incense. In all this, we model ourselves after the acts of the Buddha and the past masters. Beyond this, you must come to your own understanding.”
From Dennis Horota's book Wind in the Pines on page 217
From Dennis Horota's book Wind in the Pines on page 217
Easter? Already?
I should not be surprised. I haven't celebrated the Christian easter in many many years (a couple decades). But there is a distinct feel of SRING in the air with out wonderful warm weather.
I wish my Christian a very Happy Easter.
I wish both my brother and his youngest son a Happy Birthday. The boy is now 3.
I wish my sister-in-law's daughter a Happy Birthday. The girl is also 3.
The husband is off to the niece's birthday party with the family for the day. he salted a turkey that I will be cooking later today for our dinner. I am home... doing more paper writing! My thumb joint is still badly painful and practically immobile. Come Tuesday, I will be going to check it out.
The sun is streaming in through the living room balcony window-doors. I am bathed in sunlight here with my new little laptop. Bagheera (my elder black cat) is bathing in the sunbeam with me, stretched out so as to absorb as much as he can. It is very cute. The crocuses are all yup in the garden and the trees have popped open their buds.
Time to find some breakfast and make the suggested edits to my paper. Have a very lovely day everyone!
I wish my Christian a very Happy Easter.
I wish both my brother and his youngest son a Happy Birthday. The boy is now 3.
I wish my sister-in-law's daughter a Happy Birthday. The girl is also 3.
The husband is off to the niece's birthday party with the family for the day. he salted a turkey that I will be cooking later today for our dinner. I am home... doing more paper writing! My thumb joint is still badly painful and practically immobile. Come Tuesday, I will be going to check it out.
The sun is streaming in through the living room balcony window-doors. I am bathed in sunlight here with my new little laptop. Bagheera (my elder black cat) is bathing in the sunbeam with me, stretched out so as to absorb as much as he can. It is very cute. The crocuses are all yup in the garden and the trees have popped open their buds.
Time to find some breakfast and make the suggested edits to my paper. Have a very lovely day everyone!
Friday, April 02, 2010
Doh !!
I am such a dork. I bought an external DVD drive to go with my laptop and never realized it was incompatible. The pluggy thing doesn't match. *SIGH* Spoke to Dell. They were real nice and helped me find one that does as well as an external 500G hard drive too. They are shipping them asap and I have to call back Tuesday to arrange sending back the one that does not fit.
So now I wait. I can't load anything onto my laptop till I get a cd/dvd drive for it.
Later... discovered that typing in Word was only letting me use French keys. I don't know the French keys for stuff to find the English equivalents. ARGH! Called Dell back and they nicely walked me through setting it up properly. They have been exceptionally helpful. I am exceptionally grateful!
Paper is officially started with 2 pages typed. I am now thinking through the complex Zen koan of the "Gateless Gate" as I am using it as an analogy in my paper and need to adequately describe my understanding of it and how it applies to tea. The book I need is not to be found and I am out of time to get it from anywhere. So I am stuck using GoogleBooks. This is normally not bad, except I cannot save the pages nor copy-paste, NOR print. So when my internet decides to be fricken finicky ... I am shit out of luck. So I got stuck and fed up for a bit.
I played some Dragon Age.
I also found help form my thumb/wrist pain. Running it under hot water has helped alot. I expect though that waking up in the morning will render it back to immobile and excruciating. Being Easter weekend, there will be no visiting a clinic. Also... I refuse to while I still have a paper.
Now I am on break... until tomorrow. I hope to get through the full analogy stuff of my intro for my zen tea paper and maybe even get into the historical China stuff. I want to take advantage of the nice weather and garden and remove windows for cleaning... but can't. I can't manage to get them out on my own. They are heavy. I put them onto the husband's TO DO list. Also... i have a paper to write...
So now I wait. I can't load anything onto my laptop till I get a cd/dvd drive for it.
Later... discovered that typing in Word was only letting me use French keys. I don't know the French keys for stuff to find the English equivalents. ARGH! Called Dell back and they nicely walked me through setting it up properly. They have been exceptionally helpful. I am exceptionally grateful!
Paper is officially started with 2 pages typed. I am now thinking through the complex Zen koan of the "Gateless Gate" as I am using it as an analogy in my paper and need to adequately describe my understanding of it and how it applies to tea. The book I need is not to be found and I am out of time to get it from anywhere. So I am stuck using GoogleBooks. This is normally not bad, except I cannot save the pages nor copy-paste, NOR print. So when my internet decides to be fricken finicky ... I am shit out of luck. So I got stuck and fed up for a bit.
I played some Dragon Age.
I also found help form my thumb/wrist pain. Running it under hot water has helped alot. I expect though that waking up in the morning will render it back to immobile and excruciating. Being Easter weekend, there will be no visiting a clinic. Also... I refuse to while I still have a paper.
Now I am on break... until tomorrow. I hope to get through the full analogy stuff of my intro for my zen tea paper and maybe even get into the historical China stuff. I want to take advantage of the nice weather and garden and remove windows for cleaning... but can't. I can't manage to get them out on my own. They are heavy. I put them onto the husband's TO DO list. Also... i have a paper to write...
Hirameki
My new laptop now has her own name. And she is relatively set up. I can now work on her. I have yet to get her set up for internet in my home though. And have some external components to add (cd/dvd external drive, camera, digital recorder). Also... none of my desktop stuff is there but that will come in time. I want to get an external hard drive to move stuff... like my music... all 35G of it (excluding the stuff i saved to DVDs).
It is so beautiful outside! I want a poofy comfy chair i can put into a sunbeam or outside and work in the warm sun.
I also kinda want to forbid the husband from the living room so I can turn it into a comfy paper writing zone for the next 7 days. I feel like I am getting resistance. I'll go clean my paper stuff from the kitchen first so he feels less like my paper has taken over the house. Then I will try again. He has an office to play in.
Zen Tea... the paper for the week.
~~~EDIT 1:50pm~~~
Laptop now has internet and Firefox. Got rid of IE... icky ie. Hubby relinquished the living room sweetly. I fixed up the internet connection issue so he can be online in his office. All is now good! All the windows in the house are open. Sunny beauty is let inside to shine and brighten all things. Lunch is had and kitchen tidied. Now to get down to real business... the paper!
OH! Mint ice cream!
It is so beautiful outside! I want a poofy comfy chair i can put into a sunbeam or outside and work in the warm sun.
I also kinda want to forbid the husband from the living room so I can turn it into a comfy paper writing zone for the next 7 days. I feel like I am getting resistance. I'll go clean my paper stuff from the kitchen first so he feels less like my paper has taken over the house. Then I will try again. He has an office to play in.
Zen Tea... the paper for the week.
~~~EDIT 1:50pm~~~
Laptop now has internet and Firefox. Got rid of IE... icky ie. Hubby relinquished the living room sweetly. I fixed up the internet connection issue so he can be online in his office. All is now good! All the windows in the house are open. Sunny beauty is let inside to shine and brighten all things. Lunch is had and kitchen tidied. Now to get down to real business... the paper!
OH! Mint ice cream!
